Role

Chapter 13

With the burden of my sins lifted from my Spirit, I feel a sense of
freedom once more. Free to shape myself as I want to be. I do not yet
walk in the Light, so my journey has a long ways yet that I must go
before I can call myself a brother to those who have graced me with their
kindness and blessed my life. I am pleased to write that Captain Neltouda
is willing to teach me how to commune at least simple blessings but there
is yet much I need to learn.

I dedicated my childhood before the academy learning how to focus and
channel magic, though I was unable to give the same dedication to my
mother's teachings. I am the first Daerisse in nine generations to -not-
practice the healing arts in the great Academy. In truth, I had gone so
long without visiting a trainer of any form that I'd nearly forgotten
much of what I -had- learned before I'd forsaken the guild entirely.

The Captain told me to ask others of the Faith about their experiences
with communing their deities. Truthfully, I couldn't help but be curious
when she'd told me to ask them. I truly wanted to know what it felt like
to be so closely linked with a God or Goddess that for a brief moment,
the two are one and the same. I can honestly say that it is not a lust
for power that brings me to that curiosity, but what I've been told of
the experience from others.

Compared to my experiences with magic: a constant struggle to maintain
control over the flow of power, and even more a struggle to not be lost
in the hunger... I -envy- the link they share. Would that magic brought
me the same feelings of camaraderie, wisdom, patience... And even love?
Perhaps I would not have been dragged so deeply onto a dark path as I
had. True I chose Necromancy, but the -call- to magic that I felt made
that power all but irresistible.

Whether or not my path as a Healer is entirely shut from Magic, I do not
know yet. The Captain says that I would commune supplications in a way
unique to me, using what I learned of focusing magic. She's mentioned
something of my Spirit being involved in the process as well, though I
have yet to fully understand what she means. I do not know if I would be
taught these things before my Spirit is brought into the Light, but as
always I will remain patient.