Role

Chapter 11

This journal entry is likely to be less than coherent, but I will try to
piece my thoughts together in such a way they at least vaguely make
sense. To start, I will say that my Spirit is beginning to reflect the
things I've learned in Thera. No longer does my soul bear the taint of
darkness, yet I am still at odds with my own Spirit.

My other half, I have taken to calling Yggvass. Perhaps there is
something in the way Yggvass appears to me in my dreams, as that of a
dark-elven woman, the polar opposite of my own High-born Elven self.
Yggvass is the hunger I feel with all magic. I can no more deny the
existence of this hunger in my blood, any more than I can deny that
Yggvass is part of me. I have to accept her as part of myself to truly be
a whole person. Were I to try to abolish Yggvass from me, I would ever be
incomplete.

She is a darkness I must control without letting her control -me.- A
hunger that I cannot gorge. A lust I cannot indulge. Were she to be
purged, I would be little more than an innocent child weakened to the
ravishes of Thera and those that would corrupt me. In accepting her as
part of me, I gain an understanding of the struggle between Light and
Dark. The fight between the Fortress and the forces of Darkness
manifested in my own Spirit the moment I started on my path. In accepting
Yggvass, I am tempered by the Darkness. Familiar with its' hungers and
deceptions. In that, I am better prepared and defended against that which
would try to tempt me.