Subject: "Some retouching of this" Previous topic | Next topic
Printer-friendly copy Email this topic to a friend CF Website
Top General Discussions Events & Contests Topic #926
Show all folders

DurNominatorSun 25-Feb-07 03:01 AM
Member since 08th Nov 2004
2018 posts
Click to send private message to this author Click to add this author to your buddy list
#1005, "Some retouching of this"


          

I'll do a bit rewriting of this. Comemments in cursive.

>A shapeshifter is the master of their own body. Able to
>change their form into a large assortment of animals from two
>of five paths, the shifter is able to adjust themselves for
>many different situations. These paths include offense,
>defense, utility, water and air and the shifter can select to
>have knowledge of two seperate paths or be a master of one.

I'd put this chapter into form:

Shapeshifters are magi who study the alteration of their own bodies. They are able to take an animal form or shift their bodies partially. Shapeshifters can study two of the five shapefoci of forms, one as major and one as minor. The available shapefoci are utility, offense, defense, air and water.

>The prime stat of a Shapeshifter is Intelligence, and some of
>their abilities are: slow, haste, stone skin, enlarge, reduce
>and shapeshift.
>
>Some of the forms attainable by the most powerful
>shapeshifters are: tiger, panther, armadillo, diamondback,
>hyena, orangutan, owl, golden eagle, dolphin and shark.
>
>All races may become shapeshifters except for the Giant races,
>Duergar, Dwarves, Wood-elves, and Orcs. Felar may become
>shapeshifters, but can not focus upon the Water and Air foci,
>due to their roots.

I think that the last comma is unnecessary

Same in latter, let's consistently say shapeshifter instead of shifter in an official context. And the use of singular or plural, preferably keeping same. Also, why not say peaceful instead of inoffensive in the last chapter? You could start that chapter with "As magi, shapeshifters are hunted by the Battlerager cabal..", thus giving it a reason.

  

Alert | IP Printer Friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote

HOT TopicUpgrade the Web Page! Step 1: Class pages: [View all] , Valguarnera, Tue 21-Apr-09 08:38 AM
Reply Here's a stab at rangers., (NOT Graatch), 25-Feb-07 09:36 PM, #54
Reply Good base work, my iteration of this piece., DurNominator, 26-Feb-07 11:31 PM, #56
Reply Shapeshifter File, Verakh (Guest), 24-Feb-07 02:31 PM, #51
Reply BTW:, Daevryn, 22-Feb-07 01:19 PM, #47
Reply Can we still submit stuff?, Tac, 22-Feb-07 01:44 PM, #48
     Reply Absolutely. (nt/), Daevryn, 22-Feb-07 01:45 PM, #49
Reply Prize Summary!, Valguarnera, 09-Feb-07 10:19 PM, #38
Reply Yay! txt, LarrcatLazy (Guest), 10-Feb-07 12:25 AM, #39
Reply Done!, Valguarnera, 10-Feb-07 12:29 AM, #40
     Reply RE: Done!, Vershelt (Anonymous), 10-Feb-07 09:02 AM, #41
          Reply Ditto nt, Tac, 10-Feb-07 11:31 AM, #42
Reply Hrm., DeathClaw-lazy (Guest), 13-Feb-07 11:40 AM, #43
Reply And yet another one --- Paladins, LarcatLazy (Guest), 09-Feb-07 08:50 PM, #37
Reply You said you wanted finished product on monday., graatchman (Guest), 07-Feb-07 03:35 PM, #35
Reply RE: You said you wanted finished product on monday., Valguarnera, 07-Feb-07 03:42 PM, #36
Reply And another one -- Shamans, Larcat, 03-Feb-07 05:07 PM, #33
Reply Revised draft warrior page., (NOT Graatch), 01-Feb-07 09:42 PM, #25
Reply I'd put in a bit more regarding lagging skills, hopeful..., elmeri_, 03-Feb-07 02:59 PM, #30
Reply RE: I'd put in a bit more regarding lagging skills, hop..., graatchman (Guest), 03-Feb-07 05:07 PM, #32
Reply I take it you didn't much care for the additions? n/t, Graatchman (Guest), 07-Feb-07 03:35 PM, #34
Reply Posted!, Daevryn, 13-Feb-07 01:13 AM, #44
     Reply RE: Posted!, (NOT Graatch), 13-Feb-07 11:40 AM, #45
     Reply RE: Posted!, Graatchman (Guest), 24-Feb-07 02:31 PM, #53
     Reply RE: Posted!, DC-Lazy (Guest), 26-Feb-07 11:31 PM, #57
Reply Sample Logs., Mek (Guest), 01-Feb-07 03:55 PM, #23
Reply This sounds like a really solid idea., elmeri_, 03-Feb-07 02:59 PM, #31
Reply Shapeshifters - Quick first draft, Tac, 01-Feb-07 12:01 PM, #22
Reply Couple things to add off the top of my head:, Daevryn, 01-Feb-07 12:10 PM, #58
     Reply RE: Couple things to add off the top of my head:, Verakh (Guest), 24-Feb-07 02:31 PM, #52
          Reply Some retouching of this, DurNominator, 25-Feb-07 09:36 PM #55
Reply Conjurers, DC-Lazy (Guest), 31-Jan-07 03:54 PM, #18
Reply Assorted Commentary:, Daevryn, 31-Jan-07 04:44 PM, #19
Reply RE: Assorted Commentary:, DC-Lazy (Guest), 31-Jan-07 09:43 PM, #20
Reply Reworked this a bit and put it up, btw. (n/t), Daevryn, 23-Feb-07 11:34 AM, #50
Reply Has nothing to do with classes but..., Zulghinlour, 31-Jan-07 12:20 PM, #12
Reply Zulg rocks!, Sandello, 31-Jan-07 02:06 PM, #15
     Reply RE: Zulg rocks!, Daevryn, 31-Jan-07 02:50 PM, #17
          Reply Not to hijack the thread.., Lazy Vargal (Guest), 02-Feb-07 08:42 AM, #26
               Reply RE: Not to hijack the thread.., Daevryn, 02-Feb-07 08:43 AM, #27
                    Reply RE: Not to hijack the thread.., Marcus_, 02-Feb-07 02:18 PM, #28
                    Reply Just a heads up, TheDude, 02-Feb-07 02:18 PM, #29
Reply Took a quick stab at a warrior page draft. Enjoy., (NOT Graatch), 30-Jan-07 10:12 PM, #6
Reply This isn't really helpful..., Tac, 31-Jan-07 12:32 AM, #7
Reply RE: Took a quick stab at a warrior page draft. Enjoy., Daevryn, 31-Jan-07 11:19 AM, #10
     Reply RE: Took a quick stab at a warrior page draft. Enjoy., (NOT Graatch), 31-Jan-07 02:06 PM, #14
          Reply RE: Took a quick stab at a warrior page draft. Enjoy., Daevryn, 31-Jan-07 02:49 PM, #16
               Reply RE: Took a quick stab at a warrior page draft. Enjoy., (NOT Graatch), 01-Feb-07 04:28 PM, #24
Reply Money - Mouth - Orcs, Tac, 30-Jan-07 10:12 PM, #5
Reply RE: Money - Mouth - Orcs, Tac, 31-Jan-07 10:07 AM, #8
     Reply RE: Money - Mouth - Orcs, Daevryn, 31-Jan-07 10:51 AM, #9
          Reply Yea that's a good piece of writing..., Tac, 31-Jan-07 12:43 PM, #11
               Reply This is what I have... (might be a little long), Tac, 31-Jan-07 02:06 PM, #13
                    Reply Futzed with this more and put it up! (n/t), Daevryn, 20-Feb-07 09:27 PM, #46
Reply Larcat's submission (druids), Valguarnera, 30-Jan-07 06:24 PM, #3
Reply My commentary:, Daevryn, 30-Jan-07 07:15 PM, #4
Reply Awesome! Thanks! And..., Tac, 30-Jan-07 03:07 PM, #1
     Reply Sure. Also, prize news!, Valguarnera, 30-Jan-07 03:08 PM, #2
          Reply More prizes., Valguarnera, 01-Feb-07 11:17 AM, #21
Top General Discussions Events & Contests Topic #926 Previous topic | Next topic