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Forum Name Events & Contests
Topic subjectSome retouching of this
Topic URLhttps://forums.carrionfields.com/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=25&topic_id=926&mesg_id=1005
1005, Some retouching of this
Posted by DurNominator on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
I'll do a bit rewriting of this. Comemments in cursive.

>A shapeshifter is the master of their own body. Able to
>change their form into a large assortment of animals from two
>of five paths, the shifter is able to adjust themselves for
>many different situations. These paths include offense,
>defense, utility, water and air and the shifter can select to
>have knowledge of two seperate paths or be a master of one.

I'd put this chapter into form:

Shapeshifters are magi who study the alteration of their own bodies. They are able to take an animal form or shift their bodies partially. Shapeshifters can study two of the five shapefoci of forms, one as major and one as minor. The available shapefoci are utility, offense, defense, air and water.

>The prime stat of a Shapeshifter is Intelligence, and some of
>their abilities are: slow, haste, stone skin, enlarge, reduce
>and shapeshift.
>
>Some of the forms attainable by the most powerful
>shapeshifters are: tiger, panther, armadillo, diamondback,
>hyena, orangutan, owl, golden eagle, dolphin and shark.
>
>All races may become shapeshifters except for the Giant races,
>Duergar, Dwarves, Wood-elves, and Orcs. Felar may become
>shapeshifters, but can not focus upon the Water and Air foci,
>due to their roots.

I think that the last comma is unnecessary

Same in latter, let's consistently say shapeshifter instead of shifter in an official context. And the use of singular or plural, preferably keeping same. Also, why not say peaceful instead of inoffensive in the last chapter? You could start that chapter with "As magi, shapeshifters are hunted by the Battlerager cabal..", thus giving it a reason.