I would have been visible, but for some specific reasons, I couldn't be. So I don't mind addressing your issue here and taking ownership of our chat. I also thank you for keeping it civil despite your frustration, both during our talk and on these forums.

Basically, what happened to you stinks, but it happens to everyone eventually because it's a networked game. In regards to your specific complaint of using OOC mechanisms to grief - douchebaggery is obviously not condoned, but in some cases, it's virtually unpoliceable because the definition changes with perspective. What you saw as griefing, the griefer saw as an unfortunate split-second reflex decision that he felt bad about later (at least until your OOC reaction).

And what if we assume that you were right, and he was specifically waiting for you to reconnect so he could kill you? From HIS perspective, it might have seemed as though you had dropped link with the hope that he would peek into the area, not see you on where, and move on. To him, you could have been using OOC mechanisms to avoid PK, and then maybe he's the one praying about a violation.

Now, there are some instances where repeat offenders or trend-douchebags can be dealt with, but as far as I could tell, this was a one-off. And frankly, I've been on both sides of it. I've logged in to the pit naked, and didn't even know I had been in combat. I've watched my character die while I waited for the reconnect timer to pass. I've been OOC yelled at for killing someone with horrible, horrible timing, and I didn't even realize it (how was I supposed to know he'd just reconnected?). I've even been smited by my god for NOT attacking someone I assumed was linkdead/afk/lagged out (but was apparently not).

So it's really about perspective. I know that doesn't help make it any better when you're on the receiving end, but if you take a step back and really look at the situation from a neutral perspective, you'll see that there's not a lot that can (or even should) be done about this specific instance one way or the other.

While it's hard to swallow, the best bet is to thicken your skin and don't let crap like this get to you. I don't mean that condescendingly, because I know how tough it can be, especially when we routinely invest so many hours into our characters. You'll get mad and frustrated, there is no doubt. But if you take misfortune (or perceived griefing) too emotionally or too seriously, it turns a fun hobby into something way too stressful to be healthy.

Anyway, I know it didn't work out ideally for you in the end, and thanks again for being civil during our talk. And if you still need a break, we'll be here when you come back