A stand-up character. Glad to be in the mutual-admiration club with you. By the by, I thought you should see this, in case you don't roll your next for a while:

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From : Tarleton LeFleur
To : all
Subject: "Kyaltaru's Final Balancing Act"

Dear sincerely loved readers and treasured subjects,

A giant has fallen - a giant downer! The following tale shows that even in death, a sad soul can find relief.

* * *

Up in the Heavens, the gods of Light peered
down from the clouds, and they sneered

A soul too dark for them looks above,
sad eyes searching for his long lost love

Below, the devils smirk and roll their eyes
at the friendly spirit's ultimate demise

A soul too light for them stares down there,
his heart still heavy with eternal despair

Forlorn and alone, Kyaltaru's soul to his body returned,
to watch his mortal shell rot on the Island before it's burned

"Oh, I had nothing to live for, anyway," the ghost said
as his wood-elven corpse bloated with the gases of the dead

With the onset of rigormortis, its lifeless face became taut
and it took on a morbid grin that in life it knew not

As the stars began to show his dead bride Calbaseeti arrived through a gate
and the bard's spirit cried, "Alas, how long I've been forced to to wait!"

But Kyaltaru's soul then frowned and scratched his head,
"I don't feel as excited as I hoped - Oh, I'm just useless and dead."

When ethereal Calbaseeti embraced him tight,
Kyaltaru went limp, hardly putting up a fight

That's when they both jumped and turned at a sound,
looking in time to see Kyaltaru's airborne corpse land upside-down

It was balanced on a pile of speckled, rotting dung at least four feet high
that had somehow blasted out from between the body's cold thighs

His spirit felt immediately relieved and light
as Balance was restored to his bowels that night!

He drank to dull the pain of what he thought was angst and sorrow,
but it was really just the ache of enough crap to fill ten barrels!

Kyaltaru's spirit, reborn, smiled and kissed his bride
and, for once, couldn't be upset, even if he tried

The two dissolved together to go to Limbo - boring!
No place for those involved with murder or whoring.

Meanwhile, Kyaltaru's death-grinning corpse emitted some gas
in a staccato squeal through his throat that sounded not unlike a laugh.

* * *

Your hearts, your souls, your lives for my Empire

Tarleton LeFleur the Jester King, Emperor of Thera