Role

Chapter 12

A lot's changed, hasn't it? One moment, everything's normal, the next it
isn't. That seems to be my life, though. That's always been my life,
unpredictable. I never could have predicted this, though, never in my 96
years could I have imagined such a thing.

I've done a lot, lately, accomplished a lot. I've made Orcs think I'm their
savior, their servant and their king, and convinced them that I'm much better
alive than eaten. I've caused Imperials to think me some sort of Dark servant,
someone who brings them valuable information or who is truly their friend.
I've convinced the Tribunals I'm a law abiding citizen even though I care
nothing for their silly laws, and I've convinced Outlanders that I despise
the cities, though I spend nearly all my time within. Finally, there are
the Scions. Oh how I love the Scions. I've made friends with at least two,
or at least, I'm almost certain they believe that. First there's Seffar.
I made contact with him early, agree to work for him, be his ally. In return,
he offered me protection, and the occasional piece of equipment. Oh how I've
used the former. I had a small misdealing with another of his employees,
and was able to completely unman the person because of my contact. The second
is Malic, the Vampire, a very dark creature indeed. I haven't yet done much
with him, but I've set the wheels in motion. I think I'll have fun using
him for everything he's worth. It promises to be amusing.

Yes, I've done much, accomplished more, and my entire life has been
unpredictable, even to me, but this, this is just, ugh. What do I do with
this? This wasn't supposed to happen. This wasn't supposed to be. I'm not
supposed to actually -care- about someone. I'm not supposed to develop
feelings.

I met someone, a woman, a human. Her name's Zaphoedine. She's pretty, lovely
eyes, a look of determination, idependance, defiance, and she moves with a
grace unknown to most Elves. And oh, her legs, her beautiful, sexy legs,
so powerful, so strong, I would love nothing more than to feel the
security they offer. She can cling to the ceiling of a cave with them, I
wonder.... Hmm, but I digress. I talked to her like I talk to all women I
want to use, flirtatious, but subtle, and yet, when we started to actually
talk, I felt something, something new. She spoke so eloquently, so
intelligently, I just, couldn't help myself. She's like a large,
attractive, female Gnome. I care about her. I actually care about her, and
I'm finding myself doing things I wouldn't. I told her my past. I
actually told her my past. I can't believe it, and I promised her I would
do my best to not slay those who follow the so called Light, and I meant it!
I promised that and I meant it! What the Hell is wrong with me?! I'm not
like this. I don't let other people choose my path. This is my life. I'm
in control. I don't tell people the truth. I've never told people the truth,
not the complete truth, and yet, I can't bring myself to lie to her. I just
don't get it. I don't know how to act; I don't know what to do.
Everything's in turmoil. I just don't get it. I don't know who I am
anymore. This is all so confusing. If my life wasn't chaotic before, it
certainly is now. I hope this works out for the best. I need to think.