Phooey. Ok champ, let's see what you wrote.

>Here's why Asians, (Not chinese people mind you, noo... they
>think their #### is the bomb, regardless of any amount of
>evidence that proves otherwise.) think chinese martial arts is
>a 'joke'.

The bottomline however is, kicking ass or not, you'll end up with a fit bod.

>While I was in Korea I followed the Asian martial arts
>tournaments cause occasionally they'd show tournaments in the
>Dojang, or there would be articles posted on the walls.

Ok.. I'm confused here. Dojang is a what? Dojo in korean? And also a form of karate? Why isn't it a form a Tae Kwon Do? Is it a really a form of anything? Would a google search on Dojang show me sites of korean toilet paper manufacturers? I wonder..

>I saw one match where a chinese guy learned in 'Charyuk'
>demonstrated how he could shatter a rock with his bare hands,
>but then proceeded to get knocked out within 3 minutes of
>getting into the ring by a kickboxer, another where a guy that
>learned some kind of 'kung-fu' started doing some fancy

There's no such thing as 'Charyuk' in chinese martial arts. That sounds more like Philippino martial arts. Unless you think every asian guy looks chinese.

>Hitting buckets full of pebbles? Please, there's a big
>difference between intentionally trying to make the damn scars
>so you won't bleed and getting it naturally from pounding a
>punching bag a couple of thousand times a day.

Uh, what's the difference exactly? You're hitting hard objects with your fists to harden the skin and bones. Different methods, same results, and as I stated in my previous reply, we did hit punching bags too.

>Maybe if you've trained in Chinese martial arts for 10~20
>years you somehow reach a higher plane of 'self awareness'
>that really does let you be a 'super martial artist' but from
>what I've seen, if you want to get down to the meat and
>potatos of it, being able to learn something useful before
>your body gets too old, and out of your prime, Chinese martial
>arts is not something you want to learn.

You must be thinking of Yoga or Tai Chi.

>I've seen one of those UFC things, and frankly, they're a step
>above wrestling. Put those guys in a real Asian tournament,
>and they'd be ripped to shreds. The speed these guys move at
>are at two entirely different levels.

And what's a real asian tournament? Does it have a specific name?

>Oh yes.. Judo, I don't know what you've been drinking, but
>it's all about 'balance'? Where'd you get that? So you know
>more about Judo then the guys on the Olympics board? Cause
>that's a direct quote from one of the judges presiding over
>the '88 Olympics.

You must have some memory. And you're paraphrasing. I did not say 'it's all about balance'.

>Last year when I was in Korea on one show as a kind of a farce
>they pitted the Korean Women's Judo team against a group of 5
>actors. (None had any martial arts training I might add) This
>is the gold medalist team by the way. You know how that went?
>3-2. Actors win. Granted, one of the guys looked like he hit
>the gym 3 times a week, but the rest of them were either
>scrawny or fat. OLYMPICS GOLD medalists can't beat a group of
>NORMAL guys.

Assuming any of this is really true, are you sure it wasn't a set-up to appease the korean audience who no doubt knew what the jig was.

>If you can toss someone who weighs a 100 pounds more than you
>do, quit your day job now, cause you obviously can do
>something no one else in the world can. You belong on the US
>olympics team.

Thanks. However, I have had arthritis for some 8 years now, and am unable to practice any sports anymore. Also, where did I say I could toss someone weighing more than me? Could I floor him by disrupting his balance? Yes. Could I lift him up and throw him down? Most likely not.

>.....
>Please, for christ's sake don't compare your 'playfighting'
>that you do with your friends with an actual competition or a
>real situation. By the way, you should have outgrown that
>years ago.

I don't recall comparing it to a competition.

>And yes.. finally... the last thing I wanted to tell you..
>Chuck Norris.
>Do you know 'exactly' what Chuck Norris learned?
>He learned 'Gook-sul'. He's like the big 'celebrity' guy for
>that particular school of martial arts. Supposedly it's
>getting a big following in Texas. He has a second degree black
>belt in 'Gook-sul'.

Gook-sul? Gook? I wonder where it got its name.. Hmmm.. Ok, fine.

>That's a neo-korean martial art that some korean dude made
>before he came over to the states. He basically went around
>and sparred with a bunch of korean 'masters' when he was
>young, formulated his own system of a martial art, came to the
>states, created a new martial art named 'Gook-sul' and gave
>himself a 9th degree black belt.

And I suppose the great korean masters (Bob, Lucy and Mary), didn't initially develop their own systems and give themselves the titles of grandmaster? I suppose God created the korean martial arts.

>No seriously, you're allowed to do that when you're making
>something new.

True. I'm the self proclaimed King of Rock.

>How do I know this? My dad was a consul for the Korean
>Consulate, and I had a chance to meet this guy in Houston
>while my dad was stationed there.

Ah. My dad was a political activist in his home country, but he had to leave because the king wasn't too keen on a communist revolution. He's now a retired small-time thief. Or so I've heard.

>That's your Chuck Norris buddy. Ooooh, scary huh?
>Face it, Chuck Norris is an 80s hero that learned something
>you could pass off as a martial arts to someone who's never
>likely seen anything 'real' before. Apparently, guys like
>you.

No, I've never seen guts splattered on a sidewalk. I won't ask what your definition of 'real' is, as I'd like to spare myself of having to read a new note, which is really the previous note, again.

>Guys like him would never have been able to call himself a
>martial artist in Korea, there were likely at least 5 kids in
>every 8th grade class that were better at Karate then he was,
>and I was one of them.

Are you in the movies then, sir?

>And as for your grappling bit... You grew up in New York City
>huh? Yeah.. that's real nice. I had to grow up in Korea. Know
>why I had to learn martial arts?

Um... no... Where exactly did I say I was from New York? I said DC/Boldereth was from the big bad city. I'm not DC/Boldereth.

>When I was in second grade (This was right after I first came
>back from the states) My mom noticed I was coming home crying
>all the time, saying that some kid was beating me up in
>school. She dragged me to the nearest Taekwondo Dojang.

Yay! Go Mom!

>That's the thing about bullies, they're usually bigger and
>stronger than you. If you look like you'd put up a good fight,
>they wont pick a fight with you. That's the premise of
>learning a martial art. It lets you handle opponents who are
>bigger and stronger than you are. If they're your size or
>smaller, you don't even need it to begin with. Grappling

Bigger and stronger than you are? I.. thought.. you couldn't handle bigger and stronger guys with martial arts.. Or was that just judo?

>techniques only work if you bring him down first of all, and
>anyone learned well enough in a 'real' martial art isn't going
>to just sit there looking pretty while you try to grab him.

But this is elementary school. I don't think he's got kung-fu knowledge. Take him down bro!

>Even if you bring him down.. what then?

Yes, what then?

>I was a kid that went back and forth between Korea and the
>States. This is my third time here. And regardless of how

Third time in Korea or the States?

>tough you think your big city kiddies were, you don't hold a
>candle to how nasty Korean kids can get, cause they didn't

Korean kids are nasty? What, they throw hot eggnoodles in your face and call your mom fat? That's nasty alright. Notify UNICEF, I'll back you up.

>definately don't like Americans. Meaning they don't like
>Korean kids who've been to America. I remember after moving a

Or maybe they just don't like capitalists? Or are we talking about South Korea here?

>And from those fights I can tell you, if you're on the ground
>you'd better ####ing hope you're stronger than him cause if
>you're both on the ground and he's stronger than you,
>regardless of how much Karate you've learned you're #### outta
>luck.

Oh, karate is the secret.

>I hope you'll never have to deal with this kind of ####, but
>you'll realize exactly how useless martial arts is if you're
>both on the ground, he managed to press you down with his
>weight and start pounding your face for 3 minutes until the
>class bell rings. He was pissed because he didn't manage to

Or... you could have used your knee behind his ass, gripped his neck and hoisted him over you, thus giving him a very sore head. Or maybe that's a little hard to do when you're getting bitch slapped. I dunno.

>No real martial artist will ever tell you that you should
>bring someone to the ground and fight him there. Any
>responsible martial artist knows that you only fight if you
>have to, and even then, only until you can get away. How are
>you going to get away if you're lying on top of him trying to
>pound the #### out of him? The moment you cross that
>threshhold you're not a martial artist, you're a bully.

So you beating up the bullies makes you a bully? You disgust me.

>And frankly, judging from your posturing you haven't taken
>martial arts for any length of time, not to mention your

My posturing? I'm somewhat confused. What do you mean?

>If not, just stay out of trouble. You don't want to learn the
>hard way how exactly useful what you learned is.

True dat. Here's to you my friend, I'm pretending I'm holding a bottle of an alcoholic beverage of your choice in my hand and lifting it up.


Circ.