>1. That intro, it smells like typical american selling
>letter. Quite agressive, I would say. Ask players what they
>think about it? Its good but quite agressive and in Russia
>people dont like such style because its looks like "agressive
>advertising". But in USA many use it, so I wont say it is not
>working. Ask opinions of others?

It works very well.


>
>2. You mentioned flaws - certainly good idea. Maybe elaborate
>this a bit more? Like "Secondly, it may surprise you that the
>whole game is text based. While at first this seems out of
>place in our world of hyperplasmagraphix, I think it’s
>actually one of our greatest assets. CF is a place where
>you’re imagination determines what you “see.”"
>and add that after several hours of playing you will feel more
>or less comfortable with it and after few weeks you wont
>notice this at all. Your imagination will do the work, and
>trust me, it will do it not worse than any graphic.


I see where your going with this. I'll take all this kind of suggestion and do a tweak session after they pile up.

>Many different fonts and colors make it annoying to read.
>Final copy should be more...hm, calm (if this is permittable
>word). Use bold and heading to emphasize some words, that
>should be enough

Here I have to flat out disagree. This format is designed so that every word can be read, only bullets can be read, only highlighted sections can be read... so that if someone just skims it they will skim to the important selling points.

It also breaks up the copy so that it's chunked down for people to read. It's kind of like how it might be hard for an out of shape guy to run a mile on a track, but not if you run next to him and keep telling him to get to the end of the block.

P.S You'll be hard pressed to give me copy writing lessons. I have spent at least $40,000 in multiple training courses on it. I have a swipe file of over 200 letters and 500 different ads that I have meticulously collected over the last 3 years. I was recently invited to guest speak at K. Hafner's marketing bootcamp as a copy writer. AND I have personally made over 1/2 a million dollars off my sales letters in the last 3 years.

As a matter of fact, I'll attach my 16 page letter for my school that has a running 32% response rate. THIRTY TWO percent. Do you realize how insanely high that is?! Muahahahaa.

(make sure you open as word document)

Attachment #1, (txt file)