Some things to think about:

1. Do you plan to SEO? Then optimize the page.

2. Though I think this copy is better and more on the right way, I would propose to make some small poll to ask players and forum readers about two copies - which one is better?
And I think it needs some "polish"

"adrenaline-pumping, finger-trembling" two complex descriptive words, each from two words...maybe its worthy to leave only one or change second word on more simple to shorten it slightly.

What about this rephrase:
"How about to taste the perfect blend of adrenaline-pumping, finger-trembling PlayerKilling and mind-bending, awe-inspiring RolePlaying?"

All digits write as...eh...as digits. So, 16 not "sixteen" and such. It makes easier reading.

Make some links for those, who are interested to dig in

for example:
"sixteen completely different, tightly balanced adventure classes"
word classes should be hyperlink to "Classes" part of the site.

Then you are talking about classes-picking, exploring, religion...all those CF's features. Maybe its worthy to split them as list?

"Worship one of a 12 active religions and strive for the mark of an immortal.

Explore hundreds of unique areas: from ancient hidden ruins to crowded life-pumping cities.

Join one of 8 cabals – for protection, power, or to further conflict.

Kill. Be killed. Make friends. Make enemies. Then make your friends make your enemies dead.

...The possibilities are only as limited as your imagination. Try them now "big button to play now"

Its easier to read when the text is split as list and most important words are bolded.

And generally I think its would be good copy. Any opinions?