Role

Chapter 14

Hi big brother,
I was hoping you could help me with something so I'm gonna lay it bare for you. When
we were growing up, I really resented you for not protecting me from Rashaze. I
thought you spent all your energy making us perfect for Mom and Dad and that what he
was doing to me wasn't important enough to put a stop to.

If you haven't stopped reading this letter by now, I want to make it clear that now
that I'm grown I do not think this of you. All of us kits were trying please parents
who cannot be pleased. Some of us did better than others. I became a Herald of the
Eternal Star. I am married to the Provost Magistrate of the Blood Tribunal who is
the ACTUAL best, most supportive, skilled, inspirational husband anyone has ever had
the privilege of being married to. I carved and enameled the skull of the Lich
Emperor of Thera, who has since referred to ME as one of Thera's finest artists.
Still, I barely stand on the precipice of making them proud of me before they're
gone, and I'm not sure I even want it. And it's 'cause I remember what it was like
to be bullied. I've got this friend who has some grand plans for the betterment of a
certain loose collection of organizations. You know. That thing in Voralian City.
I've been helping (and had help) with funding, and in a lesser capacity, recruitment
for the endeavor. Part of my leadership role is enforcing my personnel be free from
evil in their hearts. It's a REALLY LONG story that my friend would probably love to
tell you, but the important part is it's her life's goal for the absolution of her
soul. This has potential to earn me opposition I do not want, opposition that could
be lethal. Didn't I spend my whole childhood thinking my twin brother was going to
kill me? I never wanted this. I just want to be FRIENDS with everyone. But, you
know, the possibility that we could really make a change is seems like a good thing.
And maybe it won't be as awful as I always make stuff in my mind.

I'm not sure what I even really want you to give me for this. Maybe you'll do like
when we were kits and tell me I shouldn't be crying, that I need to put my best face
forward, and make sure the world sees that I am in control.

Rhauen, why didn't anyone ever let us think that beauty is vulnerable?

That's enough. Sorry. Write back.

Love,
Renize