Role

Chapter 16

I can be a bit of a chicken, I know that, and a lot of the time I need someone to take
me by the paw and lead me. A lot of me is really just my family or Laeden or Daphedee.
It's through them, and others sometimes too, that I learn who I am, what I want, who
I'm going to become. I look at them all and they seem so confident. Maybe they don't
even believe that about themselves, but I can see it, and it makes me want to try
harder, to be better, and to stand for something.

The situation between the Tribunal and the Empire fell apart. Gaspare landed himself
a warrant. Now it's something like a war. The Imperials see the law of the cities as
inferior, and demand the Tribunal back down. Laeden is never going to do that. And
he shouldn't. If he gives them an inch, they'll run all over doing whatever they
want. His Magistrates might even lose faith. I worry about him, but I know the best
thing I can do is feed his confidence, and gods it is inspiring to see him take them
on. But I do worry. He's told me before how tired he gets of the incessant fighting.
We used to kid around about shipping off alone to a desert island, and he even said
that can't happen now. He's shining brightly, and I don't want him to burn out. So
I do what I can. I give him my love.

What else can I do? Maybe little things here and there to help or hinder. Maybe my
perceived neutrality is a weapon? Maybe the right word in the right ear has power.
Look there, Daphedee's words, my pen. But I'm not as willing as she is to skirt the
line. Getting friendly with the Empire is out of the question. It's funny. It's
reminiscent of growing up with Rashaze all over again. Too bad he's exactly the
same kind of stuck up that's causing all this strife, else I could take advantage
of being related to him.

I told Laeden I have this fantasy, and in it everyone comes together over drinks and
says, "This is stupid. We should stop." And then they do. Wouldn't that be nice?