Role

Chapter 21

Dear diary,
That was excruciating. As I was called into his quarters he bade me sit. It
was a good thing he didnt know I had sat in that very chair before reading
his journal! But, it turned out he did. Well even if he had not, after
staring at me for a small time as the others had before, I blurted out that
it was me that took his wand and returned it to him immediately, his journal
was the only reference to that wand.. it is a good thing I never trained to
be a thief, I would be the only one with a guilty concience. He only truly
asked me one question, " Why are you here?", and well, I gave alot of excuses
to be quite honest, all of them true but still...
The real reason, I want to be a great mage, one of the greatest. I want to be
the one people look to like Khardrath, a mage people look up to with awe and
love and fear. I want to be special.
The nerve of him to tell me I will never be anything of that sort here with
my magic being undesirable for the tasks they perform how I wanted to box his
ears, but he was honest. He told me most every mage that performs work there
within the sanctum would not have done anything to reveal the sabateur,
fearing for their own lives. A difference in people is their willingness to
sacrifice themselves if necessary to a greater good, an ideal, their work
that he said I posess, and only a handful of people do, and its that that
made people, like Khardrath great. I couldnt believe I was compared to
khardrath. But then.. he asked me to follow him, to the portal of fire, which
I had fixed by the way! He activated it, but it didnt matter. The portal did
not work. I know it had happened alot in the past, and more recent it has
happened more and more, he explained to me what affects magic. Villagers I came
to know as nothing else, their history, their works, the nexus, their doings
to stop the village from magics end. I could not help but envision as he
described why they do not work upon the portals during the times magic is
extremely potent, because the portals are two way, their control over what
enters and leaves is lessened, anything could come through, that a thing much
worse even than not being able to work because the magic has failed from being
so weak. I began seeing where he was going with this, and it was true, within
the sanctum I would have been nothing, but without, I can influence the work of
the magi and keep magic stable, be someone they need. It would be rare we met,
but I would be important to them then, I would be special, what they need most.