CF does have a lot of diffrent aspects that you will not find in many of the other muds out there. Some say that we are too hard on newbies, while others say we are too easy on them and don't respect the vets of the mud. It is a hard line to walk, but anyone willing to sit down and read the help files will have a huge jump. Taking your bumbs in stride is the second step many are not willing to accept

However we come to you, and from your well thought out post, it appears you have done just that. So I'll try to respond in point by point to your issues and see if I can't be of any help. Now remember, this is just opinion as everyone will have their own. I will provide you mine with the reasoning to back it up however.

Good Races for newbies:
First I will start with breaking down the races:
I look at races for newbies in a few catagories. Exp pen, Aligns, Vulns vs Benifits.
Exp pen is a big one because it will play a lot into your character. By selecting a race that has a low exp pen, you will find 2 bonuses. The first one being is you rank much faster then the other classes. The second one being that you dont find yourself on the lower end of a pking situation. Ie: You being 4-8 levels below the guy who is coming at you to pk. Humans, Half races, Orc

Now this brings us to Aligns. What you said is true, that if you choose a race that can be identified as good/evil there is a much greater change of being pked by those which their RP demands it. Granted there are some out there who will pk anyone and everyone but you will have that no matter what. For this option, it is often best to chose a race that is ambigious to their align, which humans, half races, arials, felars are great for.

Last on my races is that of Vulns vs Benifits. To a newbie this might seem pointless, but there will be many little things out there that play into it. Vulns to attack types (iron/mithril/water/holy etc) which will make it a pain in the ass to rank/play/pk because everyone and their mother has that weapon type. However the flip side is there are a few races out there who have great abilities that allow them an advantage over others. While there is no clear cut on this choice as we like to think most of them are balanced out..there are a few. In this case you have duergars who can see hidden which is great, and you have storm giants who have many benifits.

Putting all this together you start to see it is a bit harder then one may think however a good race that shines through it all is plain ole human. You get great stats, no vulns, no exp pen, allowed to be any align, any ethos.

Good classes for newbies.
Much like that of races, align will be a big aspect of your class. Anything that can only be one align will be more so of a target then one's which don't give away what you are. Now as well we add another target range of being a mage, or being of a class which is against any of the other cabals ideals.
A second issue much like races is exp pen. When you combine it with that of your race, you now start to see how it will take one combo a much longer time to hero then someone else. This is also how you get those human necromancers able to fight that storm giant paladin with 9 levels on them. It's a harsh fight to be in.
The next point is something that you hit on, and it is the ability to avoid pks. Being a thief/ranger/assassin/mage gives you the chance to stay hidden from view of those who could come at you via their invis/hide/camo. This is a huge bonus, however you start to get into what I was talking about others wanting to pk you for being these classes. Second of all, some of these classes also have an exp pen so you see where it starts to stack up against you. However they do also provide some benifits that even if seen/caught, you have the ability to use spells like teleport or word should things get hairy.
My last point on classes is that even while someone may an experienced mud player, if you are new to CF I would highly recommend not playing a class that requires empowerment.
So that leaves us with these classes that I would suggest as a newbie.
Warrios: all around great class, versitile, no one align and no one really hunting them out.
Thieves: again versitile in what you can do and path to go, able to hide and no exp pen.
Shapeshifter: While you have warriors hunting you out, this is a great first mage class to learn with. It doesn't require too much in the ways of gear/preping as you have your weapons with in as your forms.

Money issues
Belive it or not, it isn't being a newbie which makes it hard to collect and have funds. This is across the board as there are long time players who have just this problem. However there are a few things which can help this problem if you are having one.
Most of the locations of treasure in which have high yields of money wont be accessable until later on in your ranks, so it comes more so to scrounging around for money. My personal favorite way is to pk people who do have money and taking theirs. However this isn't always the best and viable way to accomplish such. The second way comes with finding gear and selling it to merchants across Thera. Granted the merchant you first go to might not want to buy it or have enough money, but stick it out and search for other merchants. Eventually you will find one. A last option is to barter for things. With that gear you found, if you can't sell it, barter it for the stuff you need. That black hammer vest will give you some pies, or that sword of power a few potions of return. Etc.

Pk
This wil be the last issue I address and I will just try to cover the basics as this is too wide of a topic for anyone to nail down exactly. The first and best rule of thumb I can give anyone is, if you didn't start the fight, get out of there ASAP. The person who came at you is prepared for the fight, know what they are doing and if you are in a group..good chance he has confidence in his ability to take you and them out. This is not always true..but it will get you to survive 9 times out of 10. The second piece of advise..if you are getting hurt and you've not done much to him...flee and run. There is no shame in running and living..however please for the love of us..dont then send him a tell taunting him and talking ####. You just fled while he beat your ass (I only say this because I hate it when people do that personaly)

Now should you find yourself running from a pk, there are a few things to concider. The first is always have a teleport or return potion on hand to use. Leave it out in your inventory and not in a sack, because you need that quick access and that command you take to get it out can mean your death. It is important to have both, because at some point you will come across someone who will curse you making that return potion pointless. Also, learn the areas as best as you can. Believe it or not, while some people have played here for years there are spots in areas that they can't find. They always stick to the well known traveled parts of an area and if you learn and know these, you will have the advantage in both running and tracking.

Ok, so you know when and how to run from a pk and you've built up the courage to take it to them, great! The first and most important thing to remember, never underestimate someone and their ability. Sure they may have practice weapons and #### gear...but a well played player can school someone even in such garments. Take advantage of terraine, of the environment and most importantly of your skill abilities. While some will call you a coward for hiding/camoing..that is your class. That is what you are supose to do. Don't fight their battle on their terms, fight on your own. Use everything you have avaliable to you, from your spells, skills and any preps you may have found. However be careful on the preps as it is a slick slope as if you get too hooked on them, you true pking/hunting powers seem to falter and you become dulled. You depend upon them too much and forget how to fight on your own.

Last piece of advise on pking, remember..it isn't always about command denial. I have seen people spam out and command deny a char and get their ass handed to them because he was putting out way more damage then they were.

Hopefully this will help in some way, if not oh well.