My "wield" is much simplier than the current version.
Command description is rather short and logically is not very hard to understand.
My post is long because I tried to point out at the details as well as the main idea.
If you get away giant + two-handed stuff from my description it will be very simply. (that kind of stuff adds some complexity, though once you get how it is working it sholdn't be a problem)
Should carefully read my post, I don't think you will find my idea overcomplicated. (Compared with current version)

If you will try to describe how exactly the current wield is working I doubt it will take less than several pages and I'm sure it will be much harder to fully define than in my version. I challenge you
You will have to describe various situation for weapons, held items, shields, two-handed weapons separately, because they aren't processed using the same algorithm.
For example: what happens when you wield a heavy weapon?
I can think of several outcomes:
- both weapons are removed, and the new weapon is wielded.
- both weapons are removed and nothing is wielded.
- offhand is replaced.
- primary is replaced.
- if one of your weapons is cursed you may end up with a failure even if you tried to wield that weapon into the other slot and your second weapon may be removed or may be not.
- if you have held items/shield, the behavior of wield will be different.
- and so on.
In the current system I had to find out the result from experiments mostly. And it is very inconvenient when you have several weapons (or die often and thus have to change your weapon set).

I posted my idea when I realized how complicated and "random" is the current system and Gabe just made a clever remark (I bet without even thinking about that stuff I pointed here).

The key points of my idea is well defined result of commands.
If you wield to primary, exactly your primary slot will be processed.
Basically wield commands for slots are strictly defined.

Another good feature of my proposal is "remove" command without arguments.
You don't have to remember what exactly you are wielding. If you want to make your offhand slot empty, you just type "remoffhand" (or whatever syntax that will be). In the curent implementation you have to look what are you wielding. Moreover, if you wield similar weapons in your hands you may have real troubles to remove exactly what you want.
For example, when you have dualed a black sword + white sword, if you type "remove sword" which sword will be removed? If you try something like "remove black" you may end up with removing your pitch-black rings instead (happened to me). Sure, you can try longer descriptions, but the problem will still remain if you are wielding exactly the same weapons in both hands. I had similar problems in the past and often I had to use tricks like dropping my offhand weapon and picking it back, so it would be first in my inventory list and processed first.