I'm probably jumping to conclusions here, but I think we share a lot of the same analytical mindset when it comes to playing a character. The best advice I can offer from my own experience is to just do it.

Think your character through, analyze to your heart's content. Then, just do it.

Be flexible and really work toward getting a hero. Go with CF's curveballs. Don't delete at the first (or second or 91st) setback. Don't get discouraged at your defeats - log your battles and go through them round-by-round to figure out what to do next time. Search through logs of builds similar to yourself and to your enemies.

Always keep in mind that you'll lose to better players. You can go up with all your skills perfected, edges galore, and a preferable class/race advantage, and there will still be someone out there who will beat you. There are folks who have been playing this game for 10+ years and the art of the hunt, the chase, the kill are completely natural to them. Like, scary freaks of nature, natural. I still tend to fumble around and lose fights because I'm retarded, and I've played on and off for 12 years. My wife even mocks me.

"What's wrong, hon?"

"Igbah killed me."

"Again?! Do you ever get tired of dying?"

"..."

Exploration is also very important as a newer player. Edges help, sure (mostly they're just neat). But more important is the information that you gain. Identify items, create your own list of regear equipment. Track wands and questy areas/items for future reference.

Spheres are intentionally vague. They are flexible, malleable, and open for interpretation. You could certainly roll with a Sphere Knowledge character who practices everything to 100%, right down to pen. Or, you could have a Sphere Knowledge character who only practices pen, dodge, and evade. The pen, after all, is mightier than the sword. Or, you could have a Sphere Knowledge character who is a bloodthirsty bastard who hunts all elvenkind, but only takes magical rings from his prey. You see, he heard a fairy tale when he was young and he took it to be true; now he searches obsessively for the powerful ring from the elf in the tale.

Think outside the box. You can have a lot of fun with a character in an odd sphere. Sphere Fire invoker (learns everything but fire spells because he's afraid of fire). Sphere Peace necromancer (evil like you wouldn't believe, but won't raise zombies because he believes in the sanctity of the dead).

Also, empowerment characters can be a lot of fun. They can also be frustrating. For best results, I typically have a page or two of role early (level 1) and I pick a sphere that has a patron imm. You don't have to follow the religion of that imm, because they typically empower by sphere, not by religion.

Goods killing neutrals - you've already found with this topic one of the great (and frustrating) things about CF. Everything is open to interpretation. There usually aren't any right or wrong answers. The answer is almost always: "It depends". Play your role. If you're a goodie-two-shoes elf who protects the innocent, then you're probably breaking role to kill Tarus for his bracers. If you're a goodie-two-shoes elf who protects the innocent - but hates dwarves with a bloody passion - then it's likely within your role to kill Tarus for his bracers.

Of course, the gods play their role in Thera as well. A patron god of dwarves might not take too kindly to an elf whose sole purpose is to eradicate dwarves. If you do get a "plot twist" in your role (aka setback) and things aren't working out the way you thought, maybe just roll with it and see where things go. Always stay flexible.

And most of all, use the newbie channel! Don't hesitate to ask for help. We've all been there - and some of us still are (mutter).