I have always found that farewell notes often end up being really two notes in one. One part is a real farewell, and I intend to do that, trying to remember as much as I can about who I met, what I went through, my feelings, all of that. The other part always seems to be the beliefs about race/class/char/cabal combo power, being too much or too little. That's important too - I feel after all the time I put in that I can at least comment on the race and class and cabal powers I had - but if you do it during a farewell note, the farewell part gets lost and everyone gets into angry threads about who is right or wrong. So I am only going to do part one in this note. Over the next few days/weeks I will write on the gameplay or ask an immortal forum with things I found interesting, or super, or bad, with the assassin class, rager powers, felars, and anything else that enters my little mind.

I also will be posting some or most of the scores of logs i have. This is the first character I really logged seriously, and I have over 100 logs. I need to go through and edit them, but I'll post a significant number of them on Dios logboard, fear not.

With that said, here we go.....

One of the real ironies of cf is that the characters you make with big intentions end being deleted in the mid teens, but the characters you just roll up, without any forethought, just because you want to play a bit, end up lasting almost 700 hours.


When I rolled up Lobo last June (eight months ago, that amazes me) I had no real longterm plans in mind for him, I had no real character goals or even personality traits in mind, beyond the basic rogue. The only thing I had in mind was something someone had written on the forum a couple years back, in a thread about which race assassin to play if you are going to play a rager. One (wise?) person responded, "It's all about deathblow backfists." I had great dreams about that, and I'd seen them done by Takashimi or others. It wasn't until I was about level 25 or 30, a month or so later, that I learned that the imms had changed deathblow and it didn't work for backfist, or riposte. I can only imagine how much more powerful I'd have been with that, since for the last 300 hours or so of his life I was at 100% backfist and I did it alot against certain enemies. Ah well, it was a dream. When I discovered, in August or so, that backfist no longer got deathblows, I was very close to deleting.

But by then I'd developped a bit of a character. I'd made some choices, and some decisions, which were fleshing out the basic concept. For example his language. Early on he (I) decided that in some respects, you treat everyone the same. Past characters had done the bowing and scraping and effusive meekness in front of deities thing. I was tired of it. So I decided that someone who lives life for death - an asssassin - would be a bit blase about people with ultimate power. Not disrespectful, but not kowtowing. His philosophy was that you treat them like you treat anyone else. It doesn't matter whether you kiss their ass or spit on them, they can do whatever they want, whenever they want, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. They are gods. So just be yourself and let the chips fall as they may.

This also manifested in my language. Whether you were friend or foe, rager or nonrager, god or mortal, you were either bub or pal if male, or toots, sweets, sugar, hon or darlin if you were female. Or a nickname, of course. Thror was always shortandstout, intronan was always the former commander, yanoreth was the silver mamma, kastellyn the chaser, goapa was cakes, fire giants were black bigguns, and so on. While accents or word choices are not the main substance of any character roleplay, they can be a good part of it, and a particularly useful one because language is the way we communicate, so it works every time you talk. One of the most rewarding feelings for this character was when people would imitate my usages (though not when they used bub or pal on me. That was just mockery and he knew it and reacted badly to it). Over time I heard others saying things like "quicklike" or "grasshiders" or "asgaard bigguns" or other Lobo-isms. That made me feel good.

But speaking of language, let's put the Wolverine thing to rest. You are all correct, that is certainly where I got the term bub from. But Loborguz was not Wolverine. In fact it was only later that I realized that by choosing a felar, I picked a class with claws, making the analogy stronger. That was inadvertant. I only lifted his language, and even then not all of it. I didn't talk like him, I just used bub, and pal.

Anyway, my early life as a rager, and before becoming one, was pretty hard. Easier than some because i had detect invis and detect hidden, i recognize that, but still pretty hard. I was alone alot because there was no leader. Thror inducted me after three weeks of pestering him, after Sharisalk had stepped down. In fact, it took four discussions with Thror before he did it. (He was right to do that, I'm not complaining. Only noting why I was contemplating deletion at that point) And once I got into ragers, it was fun, but without the deathblow backfists I didn't see anything special about being a felar rather than arial or human assassin. Anyway, the Rites finally came and even though I was only in the low 30s (or even high 20s? I don't remember), at the last minute I chose to enter. I became General and Intronan Commander.

Even after that I often contemplated deleting. I figured Intronan would be leader for the rest of this character's life, you don't usually see more than one Rites in your life, and since I wasn't that character invested yet, it was a close call. I suppose I started doing well in pks, and started enjoying having new ragers intronan was bringing in to play with, and things became more fun.

And then Intronan Imm'd and everything changed.

I was older, I'd assassinated my first person (though I ended up never being very good at it. I think I assassinated a total of ten people, my skill was at 83% when I died. I'll be discussing assassinate in one of my other threads on another forum), I'd had a little time dealing with the cabal Imms as General, and the cabal wasn't empty anymore. It wasn't a powerhouse yet, but it was strong enough to hold items every now and then. When the next Rites were held, I threw in my hat immediately and had a real solid belief that I should be the next commander, since I was the existing General and I thought I'd done a credible job.

Fighting Nerylana was very, very hard. First, I had put quiet on because I was getting tells all the time, but I didn't realize that I couldn't hear yells that way, and so when Thror yelled "GO!" to us, and she came over, I wasn't ready for it. So I just died. Luckily for me Thror put us to a second fight where she couldn't use frightful fiend, and I barely won that. I think that's what did it, though I'll never know how her interview with the Destructor went. I think mine went well, but it's hard to judge. I suppose the answer is that I became commander, so it couldn't have been too terrible.

So I was commander. The first few days were great. And then Verizon decided they wanted to cut off my online service. For what would be the first of two times. For two weeks, each time. So for two weeks in august, and then again in october, i was not able to log on. It sucked. Luckily thror and kastellyn and the other cabal imms didn't just boot me from being commander, they were very understanding, but still, it was hard. Especially the first time because that's when the sylvan war was most bloody and difficult. And, much as she deserved it, I also found that for the first time they'd made a co-commander, Nerylana. She certainly was good enough to be commander, but it still felt like a little jab at me, making her one. Like I wasn't good enough to lead the village alone like every other leader in history. But I got over that, and I think we worked pretty well together.

One of the things I wanted to do, once I was commander and once I was really set in the character, was be a rager that even the so called old school ragers would respect. The balls to the wall style, as some call it. I think I did that, though not as crazy as some. I think for the most part I took chances, was willing to die and sacrifice myself if I thought there was a chance for success, and rarely backed down from a fight. Sure, I wasn't insane, and in fact it's important for a rager to fight smart enough not to just leave corpses everywhere (i.e. ralgor and marlek. Nothing personal guys, you understand) but even a smart rager, I think, needs to show some willingness to just go out and do it. I think I did. I hope I did.

Anyway, after that things were basically settled and the character you all knew for the last few months was in place. So I'll get to the farewells. In eight months I met alot of people. I beg you, do not be insulted or hurt if I forget you here, please just post yourself and I'll respond to your post. I would love to hear comments and memories from anyone who wants to post. Though I suppose if you are just going to post negatively, maybe not. I will save battle cabal for last. As an aside, I would like to say that I think some things have deteriorated in the game, and one of them is cabal player mindset. Some people nowadays just dont seem to believe that joining a cabal, becoming linked to a holy item like a Grimoire, a Sceptre, a Head, a Link, a Sapling or any other cabal item, is of much importance. I recognize that some roles and some philosophies don't entail taking huge risks or sacrificing yourself in death for futile gestures. But I wasn't even looking for that. I was looking for people to at least try once to retrieve. If I or someone was there to defend, when we show up you just flee and get out and don't come again. But 99% of the people didn't even try once. And what's worse is that sometimes there were two or three or four or even more of you heros, and I was alone, and still you wouldn't even try to retrieve. Nobody is asking a Scion to come try and try and try and die and die and die, like some ragers might. But I think it's just bad roleplay to not try at all. The *character* would think the cabal, and the item, were of extreme importance. It's the reluctance of the player to die or go into jeopardy that keeps you back. That's bad rp. Just my .02.

A recurring theme is going to be that most people wont and dont fight alone. Forgive me if I say it too often, in too many notes below, but it's true.

Non-caballed:

Tiberianous or however the hell you spell it. Fighting you taught me how to fight air forms, at least as well as I ever could. When you were prepped and ready, nobody was tougher. Unfortunately I could't taunt you into coming when I wanted. But you managed to keep it all in persepctive and i enjoyed getting tells from you.

Kaada. Very similar to Tiber in that you were fun to hear from. Having the mask didn't make me worry too much since I didn't fear your forms too much at the time, but still it was always a worry that you'd swoop down as I was running home wanting to lick my wounds. I'm sure you held back more than once from doing just that. Good job overall.

Troupe:

Pasha. Weird one. You talked ##### to me when you were in your 30s. Then you were sort of neutral when you got up to the hero ranks, then you actually tried to join us after you left the Inn. I guess I didn't know what ot make of you, though you always seemed to be in char. Never saw you fight, either.

Iunna. One of the hardest roles. Ever. I cannot speak highly enough how much I credit you with picking the role of a mute and using pen as effectively as you do. And being a leader who can't talk is just amazing. AGain, I never saw you fight, but you obviously did at least some, and I'm sure you were good at that, too.

Maran/Warlock/Dawn:

Selfren. You were one of the few priests I would group with, and then we had our problems and so even you I wouldn't group with. But I never lost respect for you, even after you started becoming agressive to other villagers. I saw you as a rager who went on another path, who had a different destiny. You were a fighter, you had a War you were willing to sacrifice for, and you rarely if ever backed down, that I saw.

Jasmine. I always wondered exactly who you were. You seemed a bit flighty, in the girly sort of way some cf chars are played, but then I'd see you naked, a ghost, going back to the hole where you'd died trying to retrieve against four or five. And you gotta respect that. We spoke intermittently and you seemed to accept him for who he was, and that was appreciated.

Tibaloa. You were one of the two magi I can think of (Korezxemp being the other) that I enjoyed talking to as much as fighting. When you first got the mongoose it was toast, but after you spent time in it I had a hard time dealing with it. In fact I had the hardest time with shifters generally. (Something for my later post on another forum) But what set you apart in my mind was your role, or what appeared to be your role. You were not a fighter. You did not want to be a fighter. But because you saw yourself as a protector, you didn't shy away from fighting if the time called for it. You would interpose yourself whenever I was fighting someone else, and while Lobo thought that was absolute crap for not letting him fight one on one with someone, I the player saw that you were doing exactly as you should. I also should point out for the reading audience that even after you died, you never complained about it, you just took it and continued talking to me like you were commenting on the weather. There is a difference between commenting on how someone died, and complaining about it. You, like I, would comment on it, or get a bit exasperated at it, but you didn't complain about it. Some people thing any speech after a death is whining. It's not. But anyway, you were what I think a dawn should be.

Derexal. Congratz again on your becoming a heroimm. But ##### you very much for always coming out to the maran and singing cold be sleep when I was stalking one of the magi inside. I really hated you once when I'd spent fourty minutes there stalking and was just waiting for him to walk out, but you came out first and sang and ruined it. Damn I was mad. Heh. But when we spoke you demonstrated real leadership, you rarely made it personal, and you were willing to accept that I was just as much dedicated to my goals in life as you were yours.

Lanaulyn. Didn't deal with you much, but the bat form really made it hard for me to deal with you. Being able to see when and where I was whenever you wanted took alot out of my ability to kill you. I didn't talk much to you, nor you me, so I can't comment on your roleplay, but you know where all the various rods and wands are and having full protections makes you agressive. I am not saying you shouldn't be, but I noticed you became so only later in life. Unlike other dawnites I never saw you protecting others, only hunting. But I only saw you for mere minutes, and you of course have hours under your belt, so it may just be my very limited experience with you. If so, good work.

Felgaire. As I wrote in the thread after you died, I had alot of respect for you. The day you came and left five or six corpses at the giant while trying to retrieve will always be with me. Few if any ragers show that much dedication, let alone a warlock. And when you and Daurwyn got me in the dwarf forest, I was so mad. I had stalked for almost half an hour, and I'm pretty sure you hadn't seen me before I attacked. I just made the mistake of doing it in a spot you could avalanche like that. But other than fighting, the times we spoke you had a somewhat aloof and "I expect to be obeyed" tone of voice that fit my view of what the leader of a tower of brilliant magi was supposed to be. Playing an invoker requires dedication and time, as well as being a leader, and you were both, so kudos for that.

Karithia. I enjoyed talking with you. Except for that one time when you accused me of ganbagngin you, and your loss of respect for me. I don't exactly remember the situation anymore, but I felt, and still feel, that it was uncalled for. I don't know if it was from you the player or from what you felt the character would feel and/or say. But beyond that, I found Karithia to be fun to deal with, as well as fair, and for the most part particularly brave. Unlike virtually every other arcane tranny, you would more often than not defend against my raids. As Gulturiltin discovered, spellbane is hardly foolproof. He killed me when he got six out of seven spells through and just wasted me. You also fought, and yes you died more than you won, but it's the guts that impressed me. And the times you didn't fight, you were smart not to, and that too was respected. Lastly, I dont know if it was your idea or some other's, but the trap at the angel that last time was absolute brilliance. In my 677 hours, nobody did anything as good as that to me.

Yazaulyzt. Excellent character. I had alot of respect for you sticking with a hard role. Good fighter. You died and you came back for more when your role demanded it. No whining. No complaining. Good job.

Daurwyn. Conjurers were a problem for me in that your archons completely denied my ability to assassinate. I tried to wait until you had to re-conjure the archon, but you managed to always be somewhere I couldn't get to when that happened. When we fought in combat, I had a hard time doing enough damage. But you were honorable and not a ##### when I died, and I think I was the same when you did, so I suppose it's all good. We didn't talk much other than reviewing the combat we'd just had, but from that little I came away feeling positively about your character and your roleplay. FOr what it's worth.

Lithmowa. Were you a warlock? I think so, but I'm not sure. I didn't even know who you were until I killed you, and when you said I was the first rager to do it I guess I was pleased with myself. That damn orangutan is very very powerful. But you were pretty good to talk to, briefly, and you certainly held onto your roleplaying in adversity.

Nexus:

General comment first. Not one of you ever spoke about what Nexus is, why you do what you do, even what it is that you do. I still have yet to have even a single conversation about what a balance is, why you fight for it, why you fight us, anything. So in my notes to you below, there is nothing about you playing your role well. I had and have no idea what your roles are in your minds, or just as a general principle. Sorry. Also, this cabal went from the absolute weakest and non-entity cabal into being a real powerhouse these days. And, let me also say that the inner guardians are uber tough. They, and the Warlock inner guardian, give me the absolute hardest times. Especially the Nexus guardians though. They ##### me up every time. It always took two or three or four flee outs/heal ups/returns to do it.

Caelph. As I said when you were alive, you had a lucky streak matched by few. Like a few others, you managed to flee at convulsing something like fourteen times. It was maddening! But you made up for it by talking, and acting, with integrity. I remember one time I died at the link and I came back to check my corpse. You were there, talking to some young idiot applicant, and you chastised him for talking smack, saying "Loborguz understands the balance. He himself is of the balance" or something like that. The kid just shut his trap and wouldn't talk the rest of the time I was there, while you and I chit chatted for the next five or ten minutes. That was classic. You were leader before the changes to Nexus philosophy, and when you guys would flip flop at a moment's notice. I don't know how you did it, not being able to be trusted by anyone, not being able to know who you can trust, it must have been a hard life, and one you did well at.
Like felgaire and a few others you almost always came to retrieve, even against odds, and that is one of the real tests. A test you passed with flying colors.

Nydeikon. I really didn't know what to think of you. On the one hand you were almost always respectful, even deferential, in our talks, and you would at least sometimes fight one on one. And you were a big advocate of returning gear, and having gear returned. So that was all good. But on the other hand you more ofthen than not would not fight one on one, and would only come looking for me when you had the head. That kind of pissed me off. You would run from me pretty much every time I saw you out and about, but when you would have the head, you would come and loiter at the giant, taunting me. I found that kind of pathetic. But, like I said, sometimes you did just accept the challenge. And your speech was always interesting. And, from what I hear, you are doing a good job leading the nexus. Being a leader of any cabal grants you one step up on the respect chain, in my book, just for dealing with all the stuff that comes with it. So on balance, you did alright in my mind.

Lorak. I really liked you until you bragged about killing me when I didn't have the head. You were all protected with rods and stuff and I couldn't spellbane and that was the one time you got me. I don't know how many times I got you, but to have you brag about that one was a bit galling. Otherwise, though, you were interesting. You would pop in and out of duo at the most interesting places. I tried stalking you to assassinate once, in galadon. You would duo and I'd think I'd lost you, but you'd just unduo in the guild, never having left. But eventually you didn't reappear and I gave it up as a bad job.

Talno. You were great. Like I said above I had no idea why you were in the nexus or what your goals were, but you were fun to talk to, and you had some guts, and you always seemed to have things going on. At the end especially you said you were not of the nexus, you were on some quest, whatever, and I just wished I could be a part of it. I remember fighting your lion once and getting spanked. I deliberately hunted you down after that to kill you twice for my once. I hope you didn't mind. ;P

Jraln and Janroth and Kazahando. To be honest I didn't much differentiate between you three late comers. I'm sure you have good roles and roleplay well, but I didn't see much of it. Janroth at least came and tried to retrieve alone, virtually nobody else did, ever. But you all started right out with the full looting and the taunting, and that just gave me a bad taste in my mouth. Also, like so many others, I rarely if ever saw any of you fight alone. As Viornsra or some others can attest, the ram form is very powerful against assassins, and in fact so are virtually all of the shifter forms, but you most often wouldn't try me by yourselves. You did sometimes though, I'm not sure why those few situations gave you the desire to do so, but for that I thank you, even when I died. Which in the end was alog. Jraln, I had no desire to kill you twice when I raided yesterday. But when you took my disarmed white sword I just wanted it back. You stayed at your inner guardians, knowing I was around (I was faerie fired, so visible) and you didn't go anywhere or do anything after you unghosted. And I waited a full five minutes real time after you unghosted before going in, because I was still kanset'd and kot'd from the guardian. But you stayed, and so I had to kill you. The sword wasnt in your corpse though, what did you do with it?

Assassin with a K. For the life of me I can't remember your name now, but you know who you are. You died alot, but you didn't back down. I very much respected that. You were the exception to the rule. Good work. Oh, and you seemed to have a good sense of humor, too. Always good.

Scion:

Korexzemp. My all time favorite scion. 'Nuff said.

Halisstra. When you got that immolation through spellbane on me right outside the village that time I was damn bitter. You were one slippery drow. I think I only got you twice, and I know you got me at least three or four times, though always in groups. And yes, I think that matters. But when you had the mask, and later when Iillien did, it made life very very annoying for me. You had the cool, dark demeanor that I think is de rigeur for drow, and you played your part well. You had the sinister feeling that few others get, even through a screen. Good job.

Iillien. Assassinating you was my most fun assassination. Not that I had many. I never did get to fight the nightmare. Is it really that bad? You having the mask was really frustrating, but your discussions were illuminating. The total dispassion, the complete lack of sympathy or empathy for your underlings is just what one would expect for a scion chancellor. They are all tools for your personal power and strength. Of course, with the Manarei thing, I knew your life was going to hit a big speedbump, but that never interfered with our talks. Keep it up, and I hope you don't delete. Staying the course is hard, as you know, but it's worth it.

Brotmin. Excellent character. When you stayed and fought it out on the ocean nobody was more surprised, or pleased, than I. You died, but you took it well, and you fought hard. Most didn't. Of course I was pissed as hell when later you accepted a duel and brought a healer who then recalled you. Blech. But you didn't sit around waiting for a magi to accompany you everywhere, you didn't sit around making butt prints in your cabal or guild, and you didn't stay away when we had the sceptre. My only regret is that we didn't talk a bit more so I could know why it was you chose to be a warrior in a cabal that makes warriors second class citizens. (I mean why brotmin the character did that, not the player behind him.) But I'm sure you had answers for all of that and more. Quite well done.

Viornsra. Other than the felar bandit chief (to whom I died my final death I might add, and to whom I think I died 17 times) you killed me more than anyone else. Killing you yesterday was my favorite kill in my 677 hours. For days I had been thinking that I could age death soon, or con death, and all I wanted was to get you before I went out. And as you said, it was one of, if not the greatest fights I'd had. Of course, that was likely because it was the first and I think only time when you came by yourself with your nightwalker and nobody else, and it was just us, and I had my powers and was at full health. Not having just fought others and down to 24 hit points or something, which was your usual m.o. I still think you are mostly pathetic (sorry bub), since you know where the rods and wands are, you use them, and still you gangbang, you jump in when i or others are already fighting two or three foes, and you deliberately try to kill people when they are very hurt. It's just cheap. It is, as I said numermous times, bottom feeding. You feed off the work of others. And you had the perfect combo for it, vulture and ram. I give you props for doing that well, but it itself isn't all that laudable, in my mind. You did show a glimmer of real backbone when you died, and then fought again, but then it faded away twenty minutes later when you jumped in while I was fighting to other people myself. Oh well.

Karnavex. Congratz on the imm thing. You deserved it, as far as I saw. Good fighting skills, good talking skills, good all around roleplay. Didn't interact as much with you as others, but what I saw got my attention in a positive way. I'm sure you'll do well where you are now.

Llaisarius. I think we had a mutual respect thing going. It was hard for us to communicate though. Between you being duo or me being hidden, we almost never saw eachother to send tells. But like Halisstra you were what I think of when I think of a drow. Malevolent. Conniving. Powerful. Smart. Good job. Shame you deleted. (I can say that, having stuck it out as leader, right? )

Jerreraric. I knew you were scion but I could never prove it until just a few days before you deleted, and so I could never kill you without jeopardizing my being in the village. I wish I'd had the confirmation earlier, because you were so cocky and I would so have killed you. I know, I know, you'll say you would have won, but I don't think so. In any event, the point is that you hid your affiliation perfectly, and you were a superb assassin, and while I was inside just itching for you to do something that would let me attack you, I never felt anything but respect for your abilities.

Phaistus and Zhetzasis. Both good healers. Phaistus was great in his whole "minister to the flock" thing, and Zhetzasis was cool in that he would take chances. Healers are made to take chances, they can suck up huge hits, and live through things most cant. It backfired sometimes, but it got my attention. BOth of you were "liked" by Lobo, if you know what I mean.

Sylvan:

You guys were pretty tough during the war and pre-changes. After the changes you backed down pretty quick, but I suppose that's to be expected, since you started having the war with the warlocks.

Jugynheim. Tough. Very, very tough. You had the quest skill that I wanted, by another name. Your roleplay was always consistent, your accent was cool and your willingness to fight sometimes not on your own terrain was respectable. Good luck in the future.

Suilvanum. To be honest I always though of you as Jugynheim, jr. I had a hard time differentiating you from him, roleplay wise, but I have a feeling you reserved most of your roleplay, and your best roleplay, for internal sylvan matters. That's cool. Pretty good fighter, a bit hard headed (cause I am not. Ha!) and around alot. Until you up and just left. Still dont know why. Oh well.

Priolith. It was interesting dealing with you. You were the first post-war sylvan who would even understand, let alone accept, where we were coming from. But it was fun telling you that I wouldn't raid scions with you. It was weird to have these sylvans come up and act very buddy buddy with me or other ragers. We had just had a war. Like I told you, just because we now have a truce doesn't mean I'm going to group with you, or think of any of you as friends. Expedience and momentary power for pk'ing seemed to take precedence over roleplay for many of your warders. It didn't occurr to them that while not fighting directly anymore, we might still be angry that your whole group had been ambushing and killing ours for years just days ago. And you never seemed to get it that we wouldn't take the sceptre from you, even though I told you that on at least three separate occasions. Just two or three days ago you asked if I'd take the sceptre from you and it was exasperating. Well you seem to have a handle on your cabal though, and that's not easy, so I doff my hat to you for that.

Scarab:

Drucyrus. I still dont understand, or like you. I debated writing anything here since I think it's not really useful to just post negatively about someone, but you were such a presence for a while, and a bit of a celebrity, that I didn't see how I could avoid it without looking stupid. The first time I met you, you just attacked me. For no reason. I still don't know why. Then aftewards, when you lost, I told you that we weren't warring against you, I had nothing against you, why not just go away and leave us villagers alone. You continued to attack, and talk big. Eventually, after dying to me a couple times, you ran from me faster than anyone else. I remember (and I have it logged) you stepping onto the eastern road, seeing me, and getting off it. Four times. I laughed pretty hard at my computer. I know that several ragers, including myself, tried talking to you, tried to understand why you were making us enemies, tried to tell you we would just have a truce, there was no reason for it, but still you kept coming. Of course, like I said, you would run if alone. But every now and then you'd gather a few scions and come try the summon and gangbang thing. You were certainly a tough shaman, no doubt about it, and you know your way around the game and now to survive. And I can only assume you were a good cabal leader since you weren't removed. So kudos for those. But generally I had a very low opinion of you. Sorry.

Laokaon. Our little talks every now and then in the guild were pretty good. Or by the maran when we were stalking different people. I dont know for sure, but I always had this feeling you were like one big ball of sarcasm. That inside, life was all a bit of a big joke to you and you were just living it out (the character that is) and seeing everything with rose tinted glasses. That endeared you to me a little. If I'm wrong, oh well, but either way you seemed competent and always looking to do what you wanted, when you wanted, with a focus and direction. In other words, a Scarab.

Tribunal:

I didn't interact much with you people. The K one (kooble? I forget who was the air form with the mask and who was the trib) was ok, but when you accused me of being a coward because I wouldn't attack you in town, I was a bit disgusted. Otherwise, though, you impressed me with your adherence to your chosen path in life, and the laws you swore to uphold, all that jazz. Tertalith, you are one of the few I had hoped to kill but never got around to it. You hero'd too late in my life and I pretty much never saw you out of town, as I was passing through or stalking someone else. Sihanouk, only one person responded to the challenge you set forth, and he can fight you. I'm sure he'll remember in game so if you post a note to battle, it will happen. I just haven't seen him, or you, in weeks.

Entropy:

Grollaski seemed cool but annoying, which I suppose is the norm for most barons. Strohm was someone I wished had leveled up faster, and stuck around once he did level up, because I think other than some muter forms he would have been the hardest for me to deal with. You can see hidden, you can summon, and you can be a surprise to me with doppel. Just walking up and bashing with axes when I'm totally unprepared is the recipe for felar cake ala mode. But it never happend. Maybe in the next life.

And last but certainly not least, Battle. There were really three Loborguz's, one with enemies, one with applicants and one with villagers. I think the meanest one was the middle one, the one with applicants. The interesting thing is, people have this belief that I was so hard on applicants, that I was over demanding or nit picking or something like that. Really, that's wrong. The fact is, I turned away a total of three people in the six months I was interviewing and inducting, and I inducted everyone else. Sure, there were some who on their own left or chose not to, or one or two who later turned out to have lied or deleted or something, but of the scores of people I interviewed, almost all got inducted. In fact, several I would have turned away I inducted anyway, because other ragers liked them. As some of these ragers can attest, I would ask over the cabal channel their opinion. Once I even called a meeting. I think that was about marlek. In any event, my interviews were very difficult, but even if eventually they got the wrong answer, or had to be explained it to them, I inducted anyway. If they stuck it out. Part of the reason for the grueling interview process was that I had to go through it. I had no leader to interview me, shariskalk had stepped down, so I had to get grilled, four times, by Thror. Trust me, his were harder than mine. He turned me away the second time because I didn't know, or didn't have a story for, WHY I wanted to be a villager. What it was in my past, in my life, in my head and especially in my heart, that had made me want to choose this life, this war. He didn't doubt I was dedicated, or that I would do it, but he wanted to know the reasons, where it came from inside me, why why why. So, I did the same thing, though of course wiht my own little twists. Anyway, I tried, and I hope I suceeded, to be a different person when someone actually was inducted. Mean though I appeared to be during an interview, I tried to be very nice and funny and fatherly with actual ragers in the village. I hope that difference came through.

Where to begin? I suppose with my all time favorite friend, Cakes.

Goapa. I had three or four truly close friends in battle, and you were number one among them. Hanging out with you was some of the most fun I had playing this character. Your total insecurity, your need for drama and attention, your obvious skill at pking, your willingness to go out and fight the fight, to help your fellow cabal mate, and to put the village before yourself. Nobody, with the possible exception of Nery, had more hardship during the sylvan war than you. You were rewarded for it, sure, but you didn't know that would happen when you were doing it. There are so many little things, but some just stand out. The whole "MUSH!" thing, having you supposedly carrying me around on your back, was good. The name Cakes, of course. The total need for affirmation every other day. The possible transformation into a real battle medic, a real battle healer. All of it. Nobody was more welcome in a group with me than you. THanks for being a part of his life.

Nerylana. I resented you so much at first you have no idea. Who the ##### is this bitch coming in and becoming a co-commander??? I was furious. But, just as you changed your mind about me over time, the same went for me about you. And it didn't take very long, either. Like a week. You were ready to fight about eleven seconds after dying, and you didn't give a damn if people didn't like you or how you did things. You, along with Goapa, were always welcome with me. And that's pretty rare, I was alone most of the time. It goes without saying you were a competent bard, though I wish you'd done a few more artistic things, it would have been good to have some paintings or something on the walls in the village. I was also very very impressed that you chose drums, rather than something else. Another little touch that made you unique and interesting. To this day I'm not sure if you were playing a lesbian, or someone who had a horrible sexual experience as a child, but either way your complete disdain for the male gender was fun to watch in play. I knew you hated toots and sugar and the rest, but it wasn't in his character to just change for anyone in that regard. Take him as he is, was his philosophy. And you seemed to get over it. When you died, the village really lost something. I hope you do get sucked back in to cf, it needs players like you.

Sehvoor. You were my protege, at least in my mind. If not in yours, then I apologize for sounding arrogant and thinking you looked up to me in that manner. I don't think you are aware of how many ragers came up to me and complained about you, how they didn't like you how they thought you were a shitty general, all that. I told them each the same thing, to tell me and I'd deal with it, and with you. But that they should understand that he (meaning you) had a job to do and they should try and see how it is from your side. The good thing is that these complaints slowed down, and in fact stopped, months ago. As much as I grew into being commander, you grew into being general, and in the last few months (including after you "retired" though everyone still thinks of you as general) you were a super general. You had earned the respect you initiall just took for granted, and you were fighting much smarter. Of course, you still had some problems - I was so frustrated that you didn't lead me to that damn nexan the other day so I could finish him off. But really, I enjoyed very much spending time with you, talking to you, roleplaying about your history, etc. I liked your role and the history you gave yourself, the face chains, all of it. Very detailed. Very well thought out. And very consistently adhered to. Very few if any were as good at keeping their role in mind when they did every action or said ever word, and you appeared to do just that. I didn't see you fight so much, I think you, like myself, were alone alot, but i know I saw you with plenty of ponchos, so you must be doing alright with that. Keep it up.

Tobeldest. Solid. Smart. Consitent. Good fighter. Not a single negative thing to say. The end.

Karthyle. Enjoyable. Wished you'd been around longer. One of those I knew could be counted on to at least try, if not always succeed, in hunting magi. I think maybe you died a bit more than probably necessary, but that showed you were ready to live the War. I don't think it was because you were stupid or not a smart fighter, I just think sometimes you let your heat get the best of you and you would stick it out until dead. Thats both good and bad, as you know. I hope you make other ragers.

Samar. Truly a well roleplayed character. Your death was a loss to the village. I think we had our problems but I also think we had a great story, you and I, of overcoming initial difficulties. Like with Manarei, you and I started off badly. I had to really dress you down, to explain how you had fucked up, all that. And I knew you were bitter about it. But as time went on, as you got exasperated talkin to the sylvans and hearing wht I told you they had already told me, we bonded a bit. And seeing you fight was always something to inspire.

Merithias. I have no doubts you would have beaten me in a fight in the circle. Fighting other berserkers is a no no for assassin ragers. Our strengths is in reducing your strength, making you drop weapons, especially with a sword spec, but of course we cant do that when you are thirsting, so I saw little chance I could beat you. My hope was that Thror would make us use Grime weapons so at least I could disarm you. Of course, my blindness dust wouldn't work on you either, so unless I got a lucky dirt kick you could just rearm, but we'll never know. In any event, I think in the end you and thror were both a little wrong in that whole episode. I can see it from both sides and I understand how things went down. Anyway, you were a strong villager, and you were roleplayed pretty well. I'm sure you have been around in other forms since. You had my respect.

Isk. Same as Merithias. *grins* Pity you deleted.

Meushen. As I said when you died, you went from being Isk's side kick to being a fixture in the village. A fine drillmaster, though subject to the curse of course. I always felt better when I would log on and see you in the who battle list. I can't say that about everyone else. And your wry sense of humor was well received, at least by me.

Segroi. Didn't actually talk as much to you as I would have liked, but the times we spent together demonstrated a good character, with the hallmarks of a ranger rager. PIcking defender was an interesting choice and I think you were, and are, a fine addition to the village. Keep it up.

Grolgthus. I think I said it all on your farewell board, but in case I didn't, you were a damn monster. Much as I think I hit hard, you were just insane. More than anyone else you grew from being a nobody into a somebody and you earned everyone's respect.

Manarei. When we first met you immediately rubbed me the wrong way. Whether you or anyone liked it or not I was General, and you had to do what i said, dammit! *chuckles* When you wouldn't just sit down and listen I got furiuos, and i told you to shut up. That was the first and last time I ever told anyone to shut up. In fact, it became part of me so much that I used that experience in interviews. I would let people say absolutely everything they wanted just so nobody could ever claim I told them to shut up, or keep them silent. You are to blame (or should be thanked?) for that. Like has been said before, nobody did it better than you when it came to assassinating. And people don't understand just how hard it is, even still. On another board, in the next week or so, I'll be posting about that, so I wont here. I'll just congratulate you on the perfecting it thing. Amazing. But that's not even the most impressive thing you did. You managed to get uninducted, to stick it out, to then become a spy in the scions, get their confidence, assassinate their leader, get reinducted, become captain. I mean damn man. Wow. I don't think anybody has impressed me more with their intelligence. Ever. Smart, smart man. remind me never to have to face you in a duel of wits. Good luck in the future.

Aylkar. I remember watching you fight once and thinking, "Is he just toying with this guy?" It was like you knew you would win, that this whole thing was just too easy, and you were just that good. Great work. You were a good rallying person in the village, with Tobeldest. You managed to get people worked up and ready to do things. I often felt I was the only one who would really log on, check items, and if we didn't have the other cabal items, get them. You were one of the others who did that, I think. It was appreciated and acknowledged.

Blasko. You caused me some angst. I kept hearing you would attack warriors, or non-enemies. I could never have it proved, and it's hard to just accept the word of an outsider over that of one of your own villagers, but I never fully trusted you. As time went on I worried less and less, and for the last month or so I pretty much figured you were ok, but I have to say I never really forgot that part. On the other hand, you always fought competently, and you seemed to have a real grasp of rager philosophy.

Varrik. Excellent roleplay. Particularly with respect to the magic items thing. I hope you keep that up, and you keep delving into it. It needs doing and you are good at it. And you seem willing to accept when you're wrong, or at least when there may be other explanations than the one you have which maybe equally right. Not that you're wrong, but that they also are not wrong. You were a bit stingy with the use of your bandages, and I still dont know why, but you were fine to have around and I think you are shaping up quite well. (And I don't take any credit for that, I'm just noticing it.) Also, I give you credit for playing a good aligned rager. That's an additional burden you have given yourself and you are doing it pretty well.

Kolun. After Goapa finally was pronounced dead you became my favorite thief. I wish you were around more, or around more when I had been around. All around good. I didn't see you being the absolute best at any one thing, but I had no complaints and always felt reassured if you were around, that you had my back. Thanks.

Rio. "No-body knoooowwwws, the trouble I'veeee seeeen." except one who has been there. You know it, man. I sometimes considered taking your route, going into retirement and not having any of the leader worries. It wasn't for me, but you always commanded respect and admiration. Your words always weighed heavily when things were being discussed, and you are a thief's thief. As much as the village may be different with my death, it will not be the same after you die.

Mobongo. I thought you had real potential. I wish you'd lasted longer. I hope you are doing well wherever you are now.

Bereuht. Same as Mobongo, only more. Your deletion smacked of rage, and I bet you wish you could undo it. I know I wish you could, too. You struck me as particularly skilled and committed. You would have been an elder, for sure.

To the whole crew of newer ragers, Penz, Zorgun, Sharvin, Konnal, etc., you seem to be doing well and you all have alot of work ahead of you. I think you will do fine.

Imms:

Yanoreth. Getting your tattoo meant alot to me. I often said to thror, "the most important thing to me, and the thing I'm most proud of - other than getting my tatoo - is being commander." That should tell you how I felt. I thoroughly enjoyed our interactions, but after the first month or two they became few and far between. I can only hope it wasn't that you were getting tired of me, or losing faith in me. I tried to come to the shrine every few weeks, I'd have one sided conversations with Jayashree and the water cat, I'd sit around reading in the library, and then I'd leave. You never came by. I would send notes every now and then too, letting you know I wasn't forgetting you or what we'd talked about oh so long ago. But I never heard back. I hope you were satisfied with how I lived, and with how I represented your religion. I wasn't perfect, and sometimes I found myself acting in a way I think was probably not right, but mostly I tried to keep it up and balance my religious faith with my War as a villager. Whatever your final thoughts, I very much looked forward to each time we spoke, and I think your tattoo is great.

Thror. What can I say? You were both enormously generous and kind and at the same time a huge gigantic pain in my ass and cold hearted bastard. I think that's sort of the point with you, though, so I doubt I'm telling you anything you don't know. But first and foremost: thank you. You are as much to blame as anyone or anything for making this by far my most rewarding and enjoyable character. I wasn't a particularly good commander when I started out. Maybe it's only conceit on my part but I think I grew into it and became a pretty damn good one. I hope you thought so. I certainly tried, very hard. Our conversations were always interesting, and you were quick to pick up on my attitude towards gods, and to respond in exactly the way I thought best. You saw that I knew you, and any god, could do anything. Whatever you wanted. You saw that I knew that, and then moved beyond it to just treating you like anyone else, and accepting that if you chose, you would do what you wanted. Which you did. You didn't demand the bowing and scraping, but when you needed or wanted to use your power, you didnt make a big show of it, you just did it. Exactly as I thought you should. Even if it meant messing me up. Which you did. I disagreed with you on a few things, just like any two people will disagree on things sometimes, but I never, ever, ever thought you did anything out of personal malice or hidden agendas. I know some people have accused you of these things. I do not. It always seemed fair, within the confines of the code you'd set. It always seemd that while you were angry, you weren't mean. I accepted and appreciated that. I think sometimes you play too big a part in the day to day of the village, but that's something that's never going to be perfect. Sometimes it will be too much, sometimes too little. It's a hard line to follow. Bottom line: you're a fine cabal imm and imm in general and I think you deserve alot of credit.

Intronan. I remember one of the first times, if not the first time, we met. There was some storm giant outside the village. You were general and I was just a random villager. You wanted me to kill that storm giant. I wanted to talk to him. You ordered me to kill him. I balked. You ordered me yet again, and other villagers started sayin I should do it, so I did. I really resented you for that. So when I became general, I figured great, I wouldn't have to worry about you. But five minutes later you became Commander. Ugh. Then, I became commander, but you were a cabal imm! You were always one step higher than me! But by that time I didn't care because we had come to a mutual respect and at least small affection. I can't say we were really ever friends, but your wry witticisms and your willingness to banter endeared you to me. In a manly sort of way of course. Good luck and keep it up.

Kastellyn. We didn't intereact much, you weren't around and vis much, but when you were, particularly during the village sickness and demon quest ending, your impact was definite and rewarding. A true battle bard. I look forward to hearing from you.

Mayesha. I had no reason to ever talk to you until recently when you titled yourself "Mayesha the Iron-clawed Commander of something." or something like that. But once we did start talking, I enjoyed it. I don't know you well at all and you dont know me but the little times we did were particularly fun. So thanks. Also, you said at one point early on that you "did something" to me. What was it? I could never figure it out, i saw no change.

Well, that's it. I think I've written about twelve thousand times more than I should have. I know for a fact I've forgotten to include more people than I remembered. Please do not take offense. Please post anyway, remind me of yourselves, and I'll reply if you want.

This character was teriffic. It had it's real downsides, I went through a village in strength, then weakness, then strength, then weakness, then strength and now somewhere in the middle. It's a real roller coaster. The character had problems, but all in all it was a truly wonderful experience. I think cf in general has had a decline in player behavior, while at the same time an improvement in the game itself, it's mechanics and the quality of areas and management. My hope is that people go back to being a bit more ready to fight alone, and just play to have fun. It's a game, it's supposed to be about going and doing things. Staying back and doing nothing seems to defeat the purpose. Going out only when you have two or three or four people behind you seems to take alot of the fun out of it, alot of the purpose for being there out of it. If you are a real non-violence type, a real selric follower, than I can understand. But for the rest of the players, it should be more that you go and just play and fight and win or die, not that you stand around looking for the best way to make a sure thing. This isn't Las Vegas, you aren't going to win money if you find the sure bet. Just my opinion.

I'll be posting logs and commentary on game play issues in the coming days. I welcome your thoughts. For those that wish to speak privately, and I would lvoe to hear from some of you for sure, my email is loborguz@hotmail.com.

See ya bub.