Wed Jul 28 22:25:13 2010

At 1 o'clock PM, Day of Thunder, 17th of the Month of the Dragon
on the Theran calendar Jindicho perished, never to return.

Harcel, nothing personal, but I beat you like a red-headed stepchild everytime we fought and dying to you linkdead (after dying linkdead to Lillyan about three weeks ago) was just like getting kicked in the #### repeatedly. Not to mention Jefadi looting me. My link sucks. I honestly can say every other session in the last two months I lost link. Sometimes for up to 10 minutes. I have ####ty wireless on the beach and it just doesn't work. Alright, bear with me, I wrote these goodbyes MONTHS ago when I thought I was going to delete after the "nerfing fiasco".



First off, just to clear the air, I never once had a problem with the title. Didn't even notice it until after the -edge points and -charisma. Nor did I have a real problem with the -charisma other than how it was handled. However, my biggest problem was the fact that I got the distinct impression the immortal who did what they did to me wanted me to delete re: the nerfing of my edge points and luck (ps, that's not 0, that's -20, which was basically saying I'll never be able to choose an edge again). Let's not even talk about banning me from SCION with hard-coded responses to Charine that said 'Why would you induct this Moron?'.

In my five and a half years here I have never broken the rules of the MUD. I never perma-grouped, never used OOC to influence my IC actions, I never had a "cheat ring" (to my utter chagrin) and generally killed the people I knew more than grouped with them. I got ROTD'd once because Ajirkhan (who I ####ing hate as a player) gave my chaotic evil minotaur some gear once. The Immortal and I chatted a bit, laughed about the character of Ajirkhan and his "odd" choices so to speak. I offered to let them purge the gear I got, they declined, and I was returned to where I was grabbed quite civily and respectfully. Other than that, I've never once had an issue IC with any of the Immortals, and very very few OOC issues (which were solved amicably and respectfully).

Something recently happened in my personal life that put CF in perspective. Originally this goodbye was actually much more caustic and rambling, but I've deleted many of the potshots/accusations and rants. In the end, I took some time off, evaluated some things, and realized it just wasn't worth it. I have a very close friend who nearly committed suicide the Tues after this all went down, and I thought to myself, if I died tomorrow, who the #### would even care that I played CF? I can call several of the players 'my friends' but that's not because I thought they did Fire Giant roleplay well, or wrote a bad ass area. It's because they talked with me when I needed to talk to someone, they gave me good advice re: Real Life and they were generally a good influence on my life outside the confines of CF. To be blunt, I really don't care about CF like I used to, and doubt I'll be doing anything more than lurking on the forums in the next few years.

So, going into the part in which I disagree with what happened (because dammit, I spent nearly three days on this and as much as I don't want to post this, it would be a shame not to because I think it puts a lot of things in perspective for both players and Immortals) and attempt to prove that it was baseless and fairly mean-spirited and wrong...

To begin it all, I'd like to point out the tremendous hypocricy of accusing someone of having no role when my role got deleted due to a bug. I think THAT pissed me off more than anything the Immortal could have possibly said, and probably lead to the subsequent conversations and postings being very angry. You think I enjoyed logging in one day to find my original role gone? Newsflash, I was ####ing pissed and almost deleted (I hate goddamn bugs that #### my characters over re: Komodo rake). Here's my original role (which also refutes all the people who claimed I had been sitting at rank 25 for weeks, etc).

PROTECTED <100%hp 77%m 100%mv 7107tnl (18.31%)> role
Your role chapters are:
From the past:
< 1 > The beginning of our hero/villain's story!
Added Wed May 26 17:44:06 2010 at level 21:
< 2 > A backstory continuation!
Added Wed May 26 17:52:43 2010 at level 21:
< 3 > A final part to the backstory! (Part 1)
Added Mon May 31 20:04:45 2010 at level 23:
< 4 > Character traits
Added Wed Jun 2 09:48:31 2010 at level 23:

PROTECTED <100%hp 77%m 100%mv 7107tnl (18.31%)> role read 3
Subject: A final part to the backstory! (Part 1)
Added Mon May 31 20:04:45 2010 at level 23:
Zaltrim and his now wife had two children. Maltrius, a ruddy-haired
strapping boy, and Amylaia, a beautiful, spirited daughter. As Zaltrim
aged, he watched his children grow into adulthood without the benefit
of his bride, for she had befallen a horrible fate of being eaten alive
by ettercaps on a mission with her husband to discover a bit of lore
Zaltrim was chasing.

...(SNIPPED more text)


I'm not even going to get into the fact that I was in the process of rewriting everything (I had already added the backstory) to explain my character in more detail (to quote an Immortal, 'Sometimes people don't run on your 'nothing else in the world but CF' time schedule', guess what, that goes right back at you an Immortal). Or that I got 1500 IMM xp for the original role.


Furthermore, I'll pose a few questions to an Immortal (who I would appreciate if you put your money where your mouth is and came clean (re: Who it was) to the playerbase about why what happened to me happened) and the rest of the IMM staff as to what happened to me.

1) What did I do that was so different from these characters in regards to pking?:

An evil transmuter who got titled, leaderfied and eventually IMM'd. I think he is especially relevant given my own class choice/style:
http://forums.carrionfields.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=31&topic_id=19865&mesg_id=19871&page=

A guy who was titled, tattoed (granted, most of his PKs came 30-40 but I digress):
http://forums.carrionfields.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=31&topic_id=27261&mesg_id=27268&page=

A guy who got leader, titled, and above all, a damn good player:
http://forums.carrionfields.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=31&topic_id=26732&mesg_id=26739&page=

A guy I looked up to for his PK prowress:
http://forums.carrionfields.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=31&topic_id=22404&mesg_id=22409&page=

A guy who got inducted into MARAN even with these gems (sorry Jalim):
http://forums.carrionfields.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=31&topic_id=11042&mesg_id=11042&listing_type=search
Mon May 15 20:37:50 2006 by 'Drokalanatym' at level 31 (72 hrs):
Has 37 kills, but just watching them as they happen it feels like it's about 5 different guys killed about 8 times each.

Tue May 16 20:50:28 2006 by 'Drokalanatym' at level 31 (77 hrs):
It turns out that was a slight exaggeration, but Jastren does account for over a quarter of our PK wins.

And FFS this character was an IMM!:
http://forums.carrionfields.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=31&topic_id=14518&mesg_id=14518&listing_type=search
Mon Nov 28 12:55:00 2005 by 'Aarn' at level 34 (183 hrs):
Holy level sitting. 102 pk wins and 183 hours, and he's only level 34.

I could mention HUNDREDS of others, but I really don't feel like adding to this giant wall of text anymore.

2) What did I do that re: full-looting/sacing that was ANYWHERE CLOSE to this guy's specific character, or his general characters period, or a whole slew of other characters that have chosen to full-loot/sac people?:
http://forums.carrionfields.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=4&topic_id=73784&mesg_id=73784&listing_type=search
http://forums.carrionfields.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=4&topic_id=73832&mesg_id=73832&listing_type=search
and IMHO, the kicker
http://forums.carrionfields.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=4&topic_id=51099&mesg_id=51099&listing_type=search
and the relevant part:
Sat Sep 16 22:14:14 2006 by 'An Immortal' at level 34 (44 hrs):
An Immortal added 2500 exp for: Nice kill on a necro that has been near unbeatable.

Sat Sep 16 22:18:20 2006 by 'Lyristeon' at level 34 (44 hrs):
He blamed me for the necromancer's gear disappearing after he died. Very nice. The necro then deleted.


And finally, 3) How were the prays I sent up any worse than this guys (sorry Guy)?:
http://forums.carrionfields.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=31&topic_id=22288&mesg_id=22288&listing_type=search

To my knowledge (I may be wrong, by all means now that I'm gone feel free to post my pray logs), I sent up an OOC prayer when I got my newbie priviledges revoked (and I truly regret that as it was a rough day for me at the time, though I find it fitting the guy's name was eventually changed), a ton of prayers to Enlilth, an IC prayer right after my edge points got nerfed that got me plagued, and an OOC prayer that began the log I posted on Dio's (which also led to my luck getting nerfed).

Here's the point. The common thread with all those examples is that NONE of them were punished (in fact, many of them THRIVED and were given IMM xp, tattoes, titles, complementary comments, etc) in any discernable shape or fashion, yet I was. And harshly punished (on top of my already self-imposed character limitations). And no, I'm not talking about the ####ing title. I'm sorry, but I've tried and tried and I just can't see the justification from the Immortal standpoint. I've seen characters that have Immortal comments along the lines of 'Is possibly in a perma-group' that didn't get anything other than a stern talk, yet I get serious OOC consequences because I kill people and act like a 'jackass'. Way. To. Be.

I enjoy having control over my destiny/fate in the games (key word: games) I play, and this is just the straw that has shattered the camel's back. This game isn't nearly as fun as it used to be for me. In some ways, I know too much. In others, I know too little. Finishing this train of thought, instead of CF being an enjoyable habit, I'd say it's become the exact opposite. I made myself sick the 2-3 days after I got nerfed wondering if I DID do something to warrant what happened to me (and I had finals!). All the people that claimed I HAD to have done something made me wonder if I did DO something that deserved the punishment I got. I went over previous interactions and events in my mind over and over again to the point I couldn't sleep for nearly 48 hrs. That's just not healthy, and I'll be the first to admit it.

And allow me one more digression...

http://forums.carrionfields.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=6&topic_id=32977&mesg_id=33109&page=

3 hrs trying to keep a player who broke the rules/cheated (which I actually think is really awesome on Thror/Valg's part, shame I didn't have that luck), and I had to literally beg to have someone take 5 minutes out of their day to just talk to me (thanks again Nepenthe, without throwing you under the bus per se, I appreciate that you said it wasn't something you would have personally done) without treating me like some child or coming off as a petulant asshole wanting to put me down or illicit an angry response. I guess those type of roles are forbidden then, even though Cyradia (among others) has a religion that literally asks its' players to do many of the things my character did.

Also how is nerfing my edge points and luck in any way relevant to the characters IC actions at all?

Should I have posted the logs on Dio's? Probably not. But as another log posted shortly afterwards (the log of the Trib sleeping someone in town) shows, sometimes you feel like something happened that shouldn't and the players should know and be allowed to form their own ideas about the situation. NOTHING in the relevant log was "heavily edited". If it was, why would I include my OOC pray that makes me look fairly bad? Or why not edit in the -edge points and -charisma echoes I got to make the Immortal look even worse? I don't appreciate being slandered and made to look like I'm some Machevellian genius who edits logs to illicit the responses I want. I may be completely off base but I've experienced this type of thing before (as JMC can backup) and it just degenerates from this point to the point where I find myself becoming exactly what I don't want to be, which is a bitter angry man. I already notice in writing this I've deleted several...caustic...things I've wanted to say, and I know that I am a better person than that.

Oh, and a final thought on playing evil. People really seemed to take my IC actions as something I enjoyed completely OOC. I didn't. I never like it when a player deletes because I killed/looted him. I never like it when someone says I ruined their game experience for them. I agonize everytime I do something fittingly evil to anyone IC. At times it was perplexing, but the playerbase as a whole seems to have very thin skin these days (myself included, though for differing reasons). A very good post on roleplaying evil from a former IMM however.
http://forums.carrionfields.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=4&topic_id=18417&mesg_id=18499&page=

Sidenote: Thanks to Mergulla(?) for renewing some of my faith in the IMMs. Though I was drunk so I'm not sure if I upped your opinion of me or not lol.


I'll offer a few quick goodbyes for the character and then another few for the players/immortals I feel influenced me in a positive way.

Mayael - I really hope you're a woman in real life, but honestly, it's not like I'm going to take an acid shower if you are not. The time we spent being 'close' was at once horrifying, disturbing, oddly amusing, and completely IC. I have never mudsexxed or tried to have a IC relationship until this char. It just kinda seemed right, as weird as that sounds, and I'm glad you were the ?victim? of that attention. I thought it fitting that when I was stressing out over getting nerfed, you roleplayed falling out of love with me. It made the transition into the second part of Jindicho's roleplay that much easier. I didn't really want to sacrifice you to Enlilth on our wedding night (and I would have...god Jindicho was a ####). I hope I helped you flesh out your own roleplay in the months afterwards. Your song is 'Live Forever' by Oasis. Good luck and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Lasentia (first and foremost), Uial, Telene, Nyanya and especially Charlee - Thanks for providing me with a place I could immerse myself in Jindicho's roleplay. What an Immortal failed to realize was yes, I could be a supreme jackass to certain characters, but my friends were supposed to have no idea what an evil bastard I was. I think all of you (besides maybe Uial, lol) had a high opinion of me, and I certainly thought you all were some of the best characters I've had the pleasure to interact with. Your song (all of you) is Lady GaGa 'Just Dance'. Lol. Or something along those veins.

Hanord - Probably Jindicho's best friend (as weird as that may sound). Good luck. I knew you would be Emperor if you didn't delete way back when (and told you so!). Glad you stuck it out. It meant a lot to me (the player) when you said I kept you from deleting. Jindicho could have given a flying #### though . Your song is 'I Made It' by Cash Money Millionaires. You did it big homey!

Votingol - Maybe the second best friend of Jindicho. I wish you ever more luck. Sorry I wouldn't suicide for your axe. Disappeared and made me sad

Zhikalyt - Good luck with everything. I just didn't want to power rank, as I agree with Nepenthe (re: the best times I have had on CF are almost exclusively pre-hero). When we got 3 ranks in 25 minutes that one day, it just really sealed the deal in terms of my plans to rank slowly. Then you deleted (WTF!).

Vivior/Legobelt - I was really sad when you deleted. I'm sure the Immortal that nerfed me would be shocked that a goodie dwarf warrior was one of Jindicho's best friends. You're getting a ton better with the game (I remember your Anathema repeatedly attacking me in town heh) and I hope I helped you out with some of the quests you were trying to finish. Don't let anything I have posted/said in this disuade you from playing CF. There are some awesome times you can have. Just find a healthy medium with your RL and CF and you'll be golden.

Homard/Ohbehb/Kjarkanoth(recent!) - I'm a sucker for a well-played rager, and you three can count yourselves among that category. Was a pleasure. Keep on trucking Ohbehb I really hope you get Commander. Kjar, that talk we had earlier today was AWESOME. You rule.

Enlilth - Wasn't sure where to go re: following you as I wasn't your sphere or in Empire, but I've wanted to do something with you for a while as other than Thror, you're the only IMM left that actually deigns to interact with the playerbase on a consistant basis. Keep on keeping on, and yes, eventually I was most likely going to betray you just like my great grandfather did.

Leyth - #### you Jalim I can't believe you deleted with my #### you stole. Bastard. I had horribly evil plans of revenge plotted against you. I had a group of thieves like Janu, Teranek and Cyvorak all set to ruin your day!

Charine - Was looking forward to seeing where our shady underhanded dealings would lead to. I also wonder if our plan would have worked in today's CF where everyone knows everything they shouldn't so to speak. Color me jaded (at this point, I'm positively green) but I think it probably wouldn't have. Anywhoo, you're a great boon to the game as both a player and character. Though I did find it hilarious when you tried to induct me how odd you seemed. I'd probably be like 'WTF' too if I tried to induct someone and the game was hard-coded to tell me 'Why would you induct this Moron?'.

Assorted people I killed (actually, not as many as some were led to believe) - Some of you were great and offered proper responses (escpecially the ones that killed/tried to kill me later), some of you were horrible and should probably take a long hard look at what type of person you are trying to be. No, I don't go around kicking puppies for my jollies. No, I'm not a douchebag IRL (just the opposite, actually, most people tell me I'm too nice of a guy...guess that's why I love playing evils ). Just relax and think about the fact you are playing a game. A GAME. I'm not even going to get into the people who I never met who hated me (a certain thief who tried to full-loot me, I'm looking at you), but whatever. I don't regret any of my actions. Even the delete.


Here's a list of players/immortals I thought were a positive influence for the game, in no particular order, with a slight elaboration for a few specific people:

A2 (Landren v Dhaezym were some of the best times I've ever had), Alex, Elhe, Vlad (god damn I wish you still played, one of my favorite personalities), Minyar, Khasotholas/Intronan, Muuloc, Lightmage (always appreciated the emails about careers/jobs we shared, they helped a lot, good luck with the kid/wife), Aarn, Eshval, Qaledus, Enbuergo(one of my idols), Granaak, Guy/Dragonstorm (good luck with the wedding!), Ichthaen/Grysh (one of my favs, we had some epics over the years), Lyristeon, Grurk (god damn you Grurk hahahaha), Starbright, Daurwyn, Isildur, ExPaladin, theForsaken, Jhyrbian (another idol), Cartherlen (dude, did we ever do anything together ever in the last 5 years...so sad), leaf, kanye (FAGTRON! best of the luck with the kids my friend), Walsh, Dash, Amit, Tarleton (up there with Balrahd as the cream of the crop, hope things go well in CA, I believe you could honestly be the next Bill Simmons...and yes, that's a supreme compliment), Ysaloerye, Zhelrantix (sorry we haven't talked in a while, RL and ####), laxman (aka Mulshine, you're a PK beast and I is sad you ended up 7-3? against me), Drokk, Blackbird, Twist, the player of Borkahd, BadIvan, trewyn, Shapa (my PK idol), Valg, Iunna/Padwei, DC, BaerBaer/Mergulla/Rayihn (I still can't believe you were Vandrylon, I ####ing loved that char), Jalim/Lhydia, the player of Khalla, the player of Raner (I hate your handle you crazy aussie hahaha), Palan/Zharradam, Marcus (I actually killed you! well kinda), Thror and Kastellyn (Two of the best roleplayers I've ever had the pleasure of interacting with), Batman, RobDarken, Dervish, CraftedDeception (just keep working on not rolling up the ganksquad and you'll be golden), Ravon/Tongni (the mechanics/skill I wish I had), abernyte, Quixotic, Lloth (was fun playing against you and trying to kill you), jafel, Moridin (Mhruan was the ####), Yean, stunna/warborf, Parv, abedour (sorry I couldn't help you more), NbM, Yoshimi/Trip (just work on the things we talked about and calm down a bit, you're a top-notch roleplayer/player), Mek (another of the cream of the crop), the player of Fjarn, Cerunnir, Elmeri, vvega, Deriveh (oh no it's the Swedish ganksquad LOL), Graatch (IMHO the best rager player in the game...just try not to remember that and remind people), DreamReaper, Java (I honestly dislike your forum persona, but god damn if you don't play goodies the way I think they should be played which should count for something...PS Raishan...god dammit) and probably hundreds more.

Specific goodbyes:

Wretchedmongrel aka Razmorthin/Saroiya/Kaazra/Maztriel - The first person on CF that I began an OOC communication with (and before anyone takes this the wrong way, I don't coordinate gangs/share secrets/etc when I communicate with another player OOC, ie if I talk to you OOC I want to be your friend and so I'll talk to you like I'd talk to a buddy from high school). I blame you for everything that has happened (just kidding). I haven't heard from you since you quit? to play WoW, but I wish the best for you and hope all is well.

JMC - You and maybe abedour are just about the only people I would have brought from FL. You're a truckasuaras rex, deadly as all hell, and a great roleplayer. We started on CF right around the same time, and while you may have had more success, I'm pretty sure I have a better than 50% ratio against you (which I am very proud of). I always respected you when you were a higher level IMM on FL and I continue to now. I believe that says a lot. One of the few who realized that I am not my brother (other than the Pittsburgh crew), regardless of what others might think. Good luck with your lawyer? career, and I wish you the best.

Balrahd - You have my email, don't hesitate to keep in touch. IMHO you're the best this game has to offer, and I've always loved fighting your characters (a shame we were never on the same side). PS Play that ####ing character (you know what I'm talking about heh).

Larcat - You also have my email, and I consider you a friend just like any of the people I grew up with. Thanks for being there to talk when #### in my personal life wasn't going so great, helping me with girlfriend/life difficulties, and all the other #### I ranted about to you. I hope you achieve everything you deserve in life. Don't hesitate to keep in touch.

Shamanman - Another I consider a true friend. We haven't been in touch for around a year but I miss just shooting the #### with you and discussing life. You always did have a joyful sense of humor, a complete recklessness about your characters, and in general a great attitude. I hope everything works out for you and don't hesitate to email me at spsawyer22@gmail.com if you ever want to talk, visit (I do live on the beach now), rant, you name it. Sadly, we will never get to wreck shop ever again, maybe on xBox live or something.

Nepenthe/Daevryn - Always respected the Hell out of you, for several reasons. One of the more level-headed guys up there as well as someone who has a real grasp on how he wishes this game played and how he wants the game to go forward. You've never come off as someone who doesn't understand the simple aspects of business/customer service (as so many other Immortals fail to do). I hope you never lose the desire to keep playing (#### the haters) and I wish you the best with your incoming baby and life. PS I can't believe you were wrong about cranial you goof. I trusted you implicitly until that point. Heh.

Zulg - The true backbone of the MUD. Regardless of what others might think, I truly believe if you left that would be CF's death knell. I always respected the fact you put in a ton of time despite having wife/kids/work and the fact you actually care about the players as much as you do the coding aspect of the game (SantaZulg being a perfect example). I wish you the best in life with your career and personal life and I hope for everyone's sake you don't ever burnout or tire of this MUD.

Cyradia - You know, I've wrote/deleted most of the things I want to say, but it all comes down to this. If I spent most of my time dealing with the dregs of CF, I'd probably act a little bitter and jaded towards the playerbase as well. I just hope YOU really don't believe in your heart a lot of the things you said to and towards me (I assume you were the Immortal I talked to right before I posted on the title thread? The one who basically baited me and talked junk like I was some random douchebag). I just wish I could have known you as well as I know *snip*, because he's a great guy and I'd like to believe that you're a great girl too, but somewhere along the line we just got completely on different wavelengths.


Past Characters (in mostly chronological order): Ffladuar (and so began my hate of Pro lol), Zorszaul (just kidding, deep breaths folks), Kruuank, Uurakhi, Ulzammon, Uthral (thanks Kasty!), Mssrathi, Ghimvhall, Dhaezym, Arvhaos, Thrakazhaar (favorite char), Brotalvis, Vhaile (ugh), Ugganamesh (goal of the char: To get a goodie IMM to slay me which would mean they killed a goodie...it's a long story), Vhaeghkar (I kinda killed Djabree? Yay? Only other thing I did well was not loot Cerunnir's Scion voker when he lost link and had a full set of Hell gear), Grubbagaddum, Vhergruhl (####ing Komodo rake), Velyzaggon (learned SOOOO much with this character who was around 250~ hours and a RL year, basically I learned wands/preps/areas among other things, yay for cheetah/goose/sand liz), Vrtainen (worst...character...ever), Mohdrim (I hate being an emotional wreck. I had big plans *sigh*), Mjraljin (I proved Nepenthe didn't know as much as he thought!), Armallyn (playing a ditzy girl is fun hahahaha PS #### you Jalim ), Gurluxks (Having Spirit Breaker and Armaggeddon at rank 24 as a Fire Sword spec is wrong, not to mention *insert Hell item* and *insert Silent item*...I wonder what happened to those things), Aeinrez (Dare accepted, Valg and Nep, now I dare you two (well, mostly Valg) to be more transparent with the playerbase and encourage more people to immort!), Ixralleinda (rawr!), Dronstyrr (had a ####ty title and I didn't bitch once, I even posted on Mergulla's board to let her know I had no problem with what happened as I didn't want her to feel bad/guilty), and finally Jindicho (and I was an evil prick).

Notice if you care anyone there isn't a single griefer/sphere Deception character in there until Jindicho. If you want you can check their battlefield/PBF posts and see maybe 3% of the comments are in any shape bad/less than complementary. I think that counts for something, but hey, what do I know. I just shudder to think what would have happened if an Immortal did this to a less stable person (TLB4, I guess). ####, I consider myself pretty reasonable/level-headed and I damn near lost my #### over this.


In closing, I'd like to thank the Immortal staff for letting me play a free, immersive game for 5 and a half wonderful years. It really allowed me to keep out of trouble and save countless thousands of dollars I would have spent on drugs/alcohol/dumb ####. Other than causing a few arguments with assorted girlfriends I've had, nothing bad has ever come around due to my playing CF, other than the fact I can't quit. Well, my brother told me a few months ago he did what he did (aka becoming TLB 3) to purposely get banned from CF so he would never be able to play again, hence, being able to quit. I personally think he is full of ####, but he did get what he wanted in the end, he doesn't play anymore.

And now, neither do I. My life is really good at the moment (except for a few hiccups here and there) and I need to focus on things that have more basis in reality. If any Immortal or player wants to talk, shoot me an email (spsawyer22@gmail.com) because I won't be responding to this thread, nor am I going to make a real effort to roll another character. If it happens in the future, it happens. I'll leave with no regrets, nor will I say I'm never going to play again.

Wow, what a wall of text. It's been real.

Enjoy every sandwich my friends.

Luck staying quit. I found heroimming did it for me....

I'll shoot you an email so you have mine.

o7

"New payment options w/ Iron Realms"

Not for a response, but in case you do check back to see what people thought of the char.

I had nothing but respect for this character, and I tried my best to ignore eveything that was not directly related to our actual char interactions. Which meant Lasentia never had a reason not to like and help you, just as she always had, even though you admitted you were an evil bastard to her. Saying it was fine, but she never saw you act like one. And once you were cursed I made it a point to pretty much ignore it and treat you exactly the same, as her friend. If you ever turned on her, so be it. Betrayals are expected by evils. Some of the best RP is stuff that is truly evil (I liked it when Ckath betrayed and pk'd me for example, because he damn well should have and it was fun overall) in the IC RP context, and yes that does entail betrayals, looting part or all and all sorts of otherwise bad behavior. I kind of wanted you to make it to my range just to see if you would kill me or not.

I wanted you to stick around because you were simply one of the best RP people I've seen actually, problem is it takes people to RP with you to learn that about your char and not everyone will do that. I did, and I can say every interaction was a good one. I knew I probably couldn't keep the player interested in the char given the setbacks you had, but I had to try.


Good luck with everything you have going on now and in the future. If that does or does not involve CF, so be it, it is afterall just a game we all play for fun.
Take care.

As it was explained, they are representative of a characters in game notoriety?

I think it's just poor to pretend like there was nothing ####ty IC about this character when he was punished and made publicly known for ####ty behavior IC, however well roleplayed he may be.

If you are a good character (I don't know your alighn.) I think you should have been appauled by him, not tolerant and supportive.

nt

I dodn't know who lasenta is.

nt

n/t

Who was bumping uglies with him as if he was a swell guy.

n/t

.

Homard liked him too, despite him being a filthy mage.

Most of what is said above is correct, this is just a little further explanation.

Lasentia IC knew him well before any of that stuff and was friends with him. Good friends even. They got along, he had fun RP, and he never did a single bad thing to anyone in the inn, and I even saw him die a couple times trying to help people, like casting repair flesh on a guy that was hurt who forgot he was not trusting, leading to him being one rounded by the bouncer.

Consider it this way:
You have a friend for a while, you like him and generally think he's a good guy.
One day everyone else calls him a jackass but you never see it.
Do you now say to him I heard you're a jackass from everyone else, and even though I still think you're fine and you've never been anything but a good friend to me, we can no longer be friends? That in my book would make me the jackass, not him, and IC Lasentia simply was not going to do that.

If he heroed and killed me, fine, my opinion may have changed.
If he killed any of my friends, my opinion would have changed.
If he came to the inn and was mouthing off to everyone, maybe.
None of that happened.

He never did anything to anyone to give me a reason to dislike him. Murdered other characters? Looted? If that was all it takes I would have to hate almost anyone who ever pk'd anybody.

It is easy to speak in generalities and such when you have no clue about the actual IC relationship between the characters, but in the future you probably should refrain.

You being a goodie?

You wrote a book you didn't have to because this was resolved above.

>Let's not even talk about banning me
>from SCION with hard-coded responses to Charine that said 'Why
>would you induct this Moron?'.

This wasn't something specially created for you. It's done to a lot of people when there's a reason to require an imm induct.


>To begin it all, I'd like to point out the tremendous
>hypocricy of accusing someone of having no role when my role
>got deleted due to a bug. I think THAT pissed me off more
>than anything the Immortal could have possibly said, and
>probably lead to the subsequent conversations and postings
>being very angry.....
>Or that I got 1500 IMM xp for the
>original role.

I can understand being incensed over this but when this bug strikes, we don't get a big flashing sign that tells us about it. It just looks like you don't have a role. Btw, you still got the 1500 Imm xp, even though your text was wiped.



>And finally, 3) How were the prays I sent up any worse than
>this guys (sorry Guy)?:
>http://forums.carrionfields.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=31&topic_id=22288&mesg_id=22288&listing_type=search

>I enjoy having control over my destiny/fate in the games (key
>word: games) I play, and this is just the straw that has
>shattered the camel's back.

>Should I have posted the logs on Dio's? Probably not. But as
>another log posted shortly afterwards (the log of the Trib
>sleeping someone in town) shows, sometimes you feel like
>something happened that shouldn't and the players should know
>and be allowed to form their own ideas about the situation.

I respectfully submit that if you had just let your emo sense of justice (and with your newbiechannel time too) allow you to keep things in your pants and not post logs that are obviously inappropriate, you might have enjoyed your character a lot more. I don't think people would have assumed Loathed By Many was anything other than an appropriate title for a murderous tranny.



>Sidenote: Thanks to Mergulla(?) for renewing some of my faith
>in the IMMs. Though I was drunk so I'm not sure if I upped
>your opinion of me or not lol.


I'm not going to speculate on That Incident since I wasn't involved in it, but I can speak about my small part in your fate. I had you set to require IMM_INDUCT (with Mergulla's blessing) after your meltdown where you deleted and outed your character on the forums. Generally, people are forced to really delete after they do this and you should feel grateful you weren't. With Scion population being as limited as it is, I thought it more fitting that someone a little more stable get the position until you had proved you had "recovered." You didn't wow me last night when I popped in on you to start the induction process, but I can understand being caught flat-footed, that's why I gave you time to come back.

Oh well, not an issue now.

Even though I didn't make the list (darn you!) I wanted to say that I liked Jindicho as a friend and as a foe. I got the feeling that Sakilan was one of your only IC friends at the time. We had some fun together for a time. Anyway, I hope you decide to make something again sometime as I do think you contribute to the game ina positive way. I do agree about keeping perspective about what matters in life. As for what happened to your char with the edge points and charisma...well...I didn't like it as I thought you were playing an evil tranny just fine.

Anyway, I hope life treats you well and I'm sure we'll talk more later.

nt

I really liked how you would always see me come in and start some RP. Sorry if it seemed kind of off when I would interract with you, I was still trying to figure out how my char would take you IC. I think it would have been cool to have an ongoing saga between the two. I never saw anything but coolness from you IC. Thanks for trying to make my char's life a bit more interesting RP wise, you really were one of the only enemies who did. Everyone else either steamrolled me, ganked me, or got steamrolled and none of them seemed to like any of the outcomes very much. I hope everything in RL goes well. Come back when you get your head squared around the things your doing. We'll be here waiting for you.

Before making extreme character changes of any measure, I've obviously watched the character for some time. Specifically, I had snooped your character. You lost all of my respect when you posted HEAVILY EDITED logs of how interactions took place. Missing tells, changed tells, added says to your allies in room, and many missing prays. Presumably, this was simply to make yourself a martyr and stir up feelings of player unrest. I think you were pretty successful at that, congratulations. A lying jerk on heavily read unofficial forums is exactly what this game needs to improve the player base.

I have no idea what you're dealing with in real life nor your mental health diagnosis, but I will say my interactions with your have been littered with these scary bouts of mania. After you decided not to delete after getting some IC consquences to your actions, you were very often a fun character to have around. However, you had a complete melt down on a Friday night, praying constantly and demanding an imp talk to you...and freaking out and taking everything personally when someone hadn't responded in atwo hours. To say the least, that level of 'it's all about me...why haven't all of these people with real lives dropped what they're doing to talk' made me want to back away slowly from the crazy dude.

I'll also throw out, given your extreme "roleplay" I observed during the beginning of the character (ie, your entire char life up until that day), a title, low charisma, and low luck doesn't hurt your game mechanics AT ALL (and, fits in with a reasonable IC reaction.) It also wasn't all a "batch" punishment for your observed roleplay...but the "escalation" part of the log you posted was also missing. On the edge points, I was reinstating a previously decided on imp punishment for some of your past actions.

1) I don't think you understand something. I never ONCE added something to a log that didn't actually happen. No idea where you are assuming that happened. If you think I'm lying to make myself look better you are welcome to post any logs (pray logs or otherwise) to back up your story, and if you're right I'll admit to whatever it is you think I did and be done with this. Second of all, most of my early logs WERE unintentionally edited, since they were cut-and-paste jobs (particularly the Bhostnak and Khallas logs) and I didn't realize until after I posted that I missed large chunks of the actual log. But even still, even if I edited things that made me look bad (which was 99% of the time unintentional) why then WOULD I post things that DID make me look bad (the newbiechannel log, the log of me getting pissed at you, etc) if I was trying to sway people to my side?

B) Imagine you login one day, and you're a level 52 IMM. You wonder to yourself 'Self, WTF just happened?' You then ask for a response from the other IMMs and all you get 'We don't like your attitude'. So, naturally, you're like WTF? And you press for more information, but none is forthcoming. Now you've put in a tremendous amount of time and effort, and someone can't give you 10 minutes of their day to explain things? All that happened when I got "nerfed" before I OOC prayed was me seeing "Your charisma has been set to 5" and "Your edge points have been set to -20". Nothing else happened (and YOU are the one lying if you say there was). NOTHING. What do you expect me to do? I OOC prayed after a while (after I IC prayed and got plagued) because I was ####ing confused. Like, for real, seriously confused as to wtf I did. Then dissing my role...well, as I said in the post above, that wasn't exactly the way to start a conversation as it got deleted by a bug. As I said, based on the attitude I got, I got the distinct impression that you thought the character was #### and you were trying to make me delete.

iii) Listen, in the last 6 months I've: Broken up with someone I was truly in love with (and dated for nearly 2 years); Watched as that person started doing drugs and dated an abusive guy; Paid her rent even as all this was happening; Lost a friend to a motorcycle accident; Had my car break down twice; Nearly got laid off; Moved 1000 miles away to a completely new city/state; Started college again after 7 years away from it; Dealt with the attempted suicide of another friend. Was I a little crazy after what happened? Hell yeah, I'll freely admit such. I handled it almost as poor as possible (hey, at least I didn't TLB it up like a few other people have). Honestly, I should thank you, since I had finals a week after that #### happened and because I wasn't playing CF I ended up with a 4.0. Still, that doesn't change the fact that just after the incident happened, you literally trolled me on Officials knowing I couldn't post anonymously to defend myself. It reeked of a damage control tactic.

In final, THIS is the reason I just don't want to play CF anymore. It's not a FUN game when on top of all else that can go wrong (self-imposed flaws, gangs/full-loots, link problems), you have people taking a squeued view of you and turning it in to slanderous posts about your character. It would be like if I posted on Dio's that you're a #####y #### who hasn't deigned to interact other than to punish people in years (you said you snooped me but never once did anything to let me know you were watching...why is that and I mean that sincerely, even bad IMM interaction is better than none). That wouldn't be fair, would it? So why do you think it's fair when the IMMs do it to players?

Enjoy your game. Try to find out WHY you play CF. Try to believe in the good of people, instead of trying to find ways why they are bad.

Really, you should have deleted after the breakup thing, not continued to do so as crap got ####tier. Then, you wouldn't be in this mess and after you got the 4.0 you'd be jonesing for what you'd want to play next like as not.

She can only see one side, you're asking her to assume more than what she sees on the surface. Let's face it, 90% of people in the world are incapable of that and the other 10% are either going to guess wrong or not bother to spend the time.

Really what did you have to prove by not deleting? You obviously weren't having fun, and you seem to not care that you spent half your time pissing other people off all while claiming you're the victim.

Nothing you said excuses poor self-control. Just delete next time.

BTW, this experience should teach you that this is where immteraction can take a seriously sour turn for the worst. People are addicted to the positives but they should consider the negatives far more heavily both on their psyche when they lack it and in situations like this where there's a permanent negative perception that is unfixable by OOC communication.

Most people don't/can't look at both sides of a story, especially when they're involved in it themselves. You're better off just letting it go dude. Good char bro.

Cheers,
Jhyrb

What sort of actions make someone lose edge points or at least in this case? I know I do a lot of ####ty things when I play but I've never lost edge points. Why don't you tell people the reason they are being punished? Is a simple tell, interaction explaining things or note totally out of the question?


Cheers,
Jhyrb

He full looted her mort. J/K

That which does not kill us,
makes us stronger.

Because we were never in PK range together, our interactions were strictly RP and I was very pleased with our chats. I could sense the playerbase boiling with hatred for you, but based on the quality of your RP I figured a lot of it was sour grapes.

I had no idea that the Immortals had saddled you with these drawbacks, but it just furthers my assertation that this character had qualities that any follower of Thror could appreciate.

As for you being a forger of men, of that I don't think there is any question.

I can't comment on any of the negatives, because I didn't see them personally but I'm going to hazard a guess that he's just an Excitable Boy.

Take some time and GLWYN

That is the most ridiculously long goodbye thread I've ever halfheartedly skimmed.

I always liked you, even though I don't think I've ever agreed with you on anything. Uthral and Ugganamesh I remember being fun to fight when I was still pretty much a newbie, I died to both, but I also killed both.

I thought it was an incredible run from start to finish, at least what I saw, regardless of whatever else was going on. I enjoyed RPing with you a ton; you were interesting, if at times really creepy, but the game, for me at least, was better having you. I'll post more when my current isn't active, but I hadn't played CF in a while, and you were definately part of the reason I was able to build a solid character with a role I'm happy with and why I kept coming back to it. GLWYN or whatever else life throws your way.

I liked Jindicho for a character I wanted to hunt or run from, depending on what I was playing. I never told a soul it was you, after your logboard ####up.

Anyway, take it easy.

-----Abernyte

P.S. Graatch the greatest rager player ever?!!? pfft! He is always a MASTER in my eyes. Glaus/Mavail/Jinroh is the greatest rager player ever IMHO

My current hated the #### outta you and would fight you every time I saw you. To the point where I stopped ranking so it wouldn't end. I thought you were great.

Your goodbye post made a lot of sense....

Especially the part about not sleeping for 2 nights wondering about what went wrong. It brought back the same 'dread' feeling I have felt a few times during the years of CF when something went wrong or was dealing with a personality that I was not understanding. Problem with a text based game, is there will always be a breakdown in communication, or interpreting intent....

Its not healthy to go over that edge, into the hard-core zone where CF takes over your life for bursts.

Not all of the player base will even understand these posts, but once you have been putting in 5-6 hours per day, or gone down that road where you are thinking about CF when at work or out with friends....they will.

Take a break..6 months at least. Realize that there will always be douches...Imm (see below) and non-Imm alike.

Cheers.

Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torment of man.

N/t