Thu May 12 13:36:40 2022

At 12 o'clock AM, Day of Thunder, 24th of the Month of the Dark Shades
on the Theran calendar Dohri perished, never to return.

I loved your character so much! You paying attention to Tilea's exhaustion from her description was the most RP I've ever gotten out of a description. Your way of immediately invading and examining people knocked her completely off guard because someone finally did it to her.

I'm sad we couldn't hang out more!


-Also you once totally saved my bacon as a different character by telling me how to get out of a room in an area explore. Thank you!

I guess that I should start out by saying that this has been the best experience in cf that I have had to date. I have been playing off and on since the early 2000's and let me just say that this game has gotten so much better as far as culture and immersion. It
really is a shame that the numbers are what they are, but MUDs in general are a hard sell in this day and age. Anyway..on to Dohri.

Playing Dohri was a very cathartic experience for me. It is actually nice to be so unapologetically open with one's emotions and affections. I do not have that in real life so it was interesting to experience the emotions that came up from my interactions with everyone. I don't know if that sounds weird or sad but whatever.

Dohri started out as a throw-away character. I have always loved healers but I did not really know how fun playing one would be in the current state of cf. I looked at the wizlist and thought that Azorinne might be fun to follow. I arrogantly thought to myself ,"Well that seems easy. I'll just be nice to everyone and talk about mercy." Silly me. I had no idea how much depth the religion had to it and I was not prepared at all for the initial conversations. This is evidenced in the fact that it took me around 350 hours to understand the faith enough for a tattoo. It was hard for ME at least..

Dohri's origin story had some interesting ideas in it, I thought. The idea that mercy without judgment could actually be a horrible thing. The only problem is that it really didn't make sense for an elf. I don't think that elves would act like that but I did not really realize that until I was well into the character. Speaking of not being elf-like, Dohri was very much a human-in-an-elf suit. She wasn't haughty or proud and I don't think that she ever came off as being very intelligent or wise. I never really tried to push Dohri's behavior and RP in one way or another. I just kind of tried to
immerse myself in the world and let Dohri do what she would(if that makes any sense),so that bubbly, ditzy, giggling mess of an elf was what we all got. I don't really think that her role chapters did a very good job of mapping out character development. I think that last one was just a poem about Kytria if I remember correctly. So I kind of
just failed Dohri with my laziness as far as the roles went.

I really am quite sad about deleting, but I am going through certification courses with work that require my attention on top of a new-born so my time is far less than it used to be. There are also things with the character that I could not get around. No matter
how hard I tried, I could not think of any new projects to do. The newest round of character deletions didn't help either.(Dohri's friends dying was always hard). If I am going to play a leadership role then I feel like I need to put in the hours to earn it. More importantly, as a character that has Azorinne's tattoo, I thought that
I should be doing a lot more than I was so if I couldn't behave like a good priestess of Azorinne then I wasn't going to play the character. There is no point in holding on to something simply because it makes you sad to let it go or because you have a lot of time invested in it.


Before I talk about specific characters, I just wanted to say something about healers in general. I know that there is an idea among the player-base that healers are kind of lame and borderline griefy just by virtue of the class. I honestly don't think that is
totally off base. I don't know if the current CF really has a place for healers. It certainly doesn't seem to have a place for healers in cabals with superior numbers. I know that I may have ruined some people's times with some of the things that I did. I just wanted to say that I am sorry about that. Whenever I would show up to defend
against a lower level character or if you saw me following someone around to heal them while they where pking, that was because I felt that I had to do those things. If someone asks for help, I am going to go help them. Maybe there was a way for me to not do that, but I couldn't see it. I promise, I was never patting myself on the back when I did those things.


Azorinne - This is going to be hard for me to express how much our interactions meant. As I said before, I was arrogant at first and I had no idea how much I didn't know. Every time we would talk especially, our initial ones, I always walked away thinking ,"She probably thinks I'm such an idiot". And oh my god, the things that you would do (like the snowballs or planting the flowers). I never really had an Imm interact with me like that so when you would do that cool stuff, sometimes it would just go straight over my head. Talking with other people about their experiences with Imms made me realize how spoiled I was. "What do mean you've only seen your god once in your life?" or "You've never told your god that you love them?...huh" The fact that you were so willing to play with us made me want to do more and more. You clearly want to make CF a fun and wonderful experience (which you do!) which in turn made me want to reciprocate that to you and also to be like that for others. Let me just end by saying something that I tried to say every time that I came to pray :

Thank you for your love and trust..I try to earn it every day. Thank you for being you.

Baerinika - Sadly, we did not have many one on one interactions. The ones that we did have, I kind of got the feeling that I irritated you with Dohri's silly personality. Which is fine, of course. I think that if Acolytes are not making Maran roll their eyes, then they are not doing their jobs properly anyway. I just wish that I could have dreamed up more reasons to come and see you. Thank you so much for all the things that you did/do behind the scenes for us.

Rarywey - I loved our interactions (the few that we had). Thank you so much for helping me with that party!

Thank you to the Imm staff in general that do so much for so little to make this game possible.

Had a lot of interactions with people over the course of Dohri's life. I'd rather not list people and risk leaving someone out. If anyone would like to post, I'll reply. Regardless, thank you all for such a wonderful time!

One of the few driving forces I had behind keeping my character until con-death when the world was generally out to get me. Thank you so much for helping make CF that much better. Goods weren't quiiite as unopposed when I was around - and you're also one of the reasons Shakiniel didn't end up getting knocked down to human. Showing how DISAPPOINTED you were with her at times was the only other person Shakiniel actually cared about the opinion of.

Oh, I remember! That was such a good interaction we had. You were the only person that Dohri talked to like that, but it was just because she loved you so much.

I fully agree with your sentiment of CF becoming a much, much better experience over the course of 20+ years. Like you, I was on (and very much off) with CF for these 2 decades. I suppose it makes sense that we matured in MUD, as we did in real life. Those hormones aren't raging the way they used to, we are much calmer and hopefully better people nowadays.

Onto Dohri specifically - it is very hard to connect to people as Thormmstein because of my sporadic play times. Again, we find ourselves in the same boat: work and kids. But Dohri was a very bright spot for Thormm in this regards. I could log in and get one tell from you and I would find myself smiling IRL. That character really shone through -- and as someone else said here or on Discord -- it made you forget the "scoreboard" aspect of CF and instead, it transported you at least a little bit into the actual fantasy world of CF. Mojabosombo had the same effect on me. Llovris too, in his horrible way

Thank you for being a part of CF and enriching not just the world, but the players behind the screens. This is the high standard that we should all aspire to.

Oh my, reading this makes me very happy. I am so glad that I was able to add to your experience. I wish that I had tried to get to know you better. You maran are always so busy vanquishing evil anyway, but at least we got to share in that wonderful defense at the Watcher. That was a good fight.

Great job with Dohri. You were my successor if anything in the Azo-world and I'm so glad you were able to take it up. I echo your statements that taken fully into the religion, Azo is amazing to follow. I have very rarely had the type of interaction with an immortal including before and after Delkinen that I had with Azo and I think it's spoiled me a bit.

I have interacted with Dohri over a few characters since and I enjoyed every bit of it. I hope that you enjoy your next when you get a chance. I certainly understand the time constraints with work (I'm going through this some myself right now) and I hope that things slow down for you enough to get back into it soon.

Delkinen

Oh, Delkinen. You were Dohri's first friend. You were also the first person whose death she had to deal with. I always found myself thinking back on our talks when I was unsure of myself. Thank you for that.

A solid, reliable Elder Prophet who seemed almost like a constant, always there and ever ready to help with whatever might be needed. Thumbs up.

Dohri might've taken a while to get to the tattoo, but the whole time it felt intentional and purposeful on her part. The banishment story, the "hasty" vow, and eventually coming around to being welcomed back into Darsylon and making an updated vow all felt so very realistic, and being part of that journey was my absolute pleasure. It's a treat to see the kind of character growth Dohri went through, and the mark she left on so so so many people. The reverberations of this delete are already making their way through everyone still living that she touched, and she will be missed by many, and most definitely by me.

As said before, Dohri was one of the reasons I enjoyed logging in to RP with. It was always fun seeing what I could twist while remaining truthful to Dohri. That was one of the things Carreana prided herself on was never lieing to you and trying to show you how hypocritical the Fortress was and how they used you.

Dohri was such a core part of the Fortress and of Tika's life. The world will be a little less bright without her. Thanks for all the great memories and help with those fights. You were on-the-spot with the healing and I thought we had an interesting competitive sister thing going with the RP, especially when dealing with the group drama. Dohri had an infectious and singular kind of optimistic boldness when going about her business and it definitely made things interesting.

Extremely well done. It is going to be really lonely without having you around. Thanks for all the help with the redemption process.

Dohri,

Ithyssraya was always so proud of Dohri. In her eyes, Dohri was the pinnacle of what an Acolyte should be. If Ithyssraya was cold and distant and Valarien was fiery and passionate... well, Dohri was the needle that threaded the space between them. You always had a way of talking to people and just -being there- when and where it counted. You made everyone in the Fortress feel seen, and that's no easy feat for any Acolyte. You deserved the mantle of leadership each and every day, and you continued to earn it for all of those hours you put in.

As for Kytria:

What is there to say about the sun itself? If a sunbeam falls onto Thera with dreams of a world that will never come to pass, there are questions to be answered. Do you smother that sunbeam to save it from the pains of the world? Do you protect it from that which would dim its beautiful light? Or do you simply let it be and pray that the radiance it exudes is enough to keep it whole?

These were the questions Kytria always asked about Dohri. She was too much of an Acolyte for a priestess of Rahsael. Kytria wanted to shake Dohri sometimes and ask: "How can you not see the world for what it is?" On other days, Kytria wanted to be more like Dohri and feel that very same compassion and love for the world. In the end, Kytria was herself and she could not help but try and teach the lessons she did. She wanted to protect Dohri, but knew that Loss was inevitable, especially for one so selfless. How do you protect a martyr? She was made better by Dohri, but not even the sun could outshine the demons lurking in Kytria's past.

Thank you for all the wonderful, sentimental moments and the notes that kept me logging in even when I didn't see much of a reason to keep going. Dohri was the one person Kytria loved even when I sweared up and down that Kytria would never love anyone.

Your rp was exceptional and it had impacts within the Fortress and far beyond. GLWYN. (And there better be a next!)

I mean, obviously, right? But the way you played Dohri was so subtle and clever, and I loved your role/backstory, too. There were seemingly endless points and branches of issues and drama for us to dive into, and interacting with you was so easy - you have a gift for letting people spin their wheels (as we all like) but still gently pulling our RP back into your interaction and your story - you really deftly conduct a true give and take - I learned a lot about how and when to let go or pull people in just from watching you work.

My strongest memory, strangely, is one of the first times I met you: you despaired about Rashign hacking everyone up, but the way you did it was so earnest and sad, it took me out the CF Scoreboard view of things in cabals into the world of an elf priestess dealing with blood and gore and war and despair.

Thank you so much for everything you did with and for me, and, I'm sure, so many others.

Very well done Dohri. You made Rolen think a lot about what he did and why he did it, and even when we disagreed on a path, we also did I think, even if we both wished it didn't have to be that way.

I loved our talks especially about that particular subject. I loved that you stuck it out and weren't swayed from what you thought was right. I don't know if agreeing to disagree is how it is supposed to work in the Fortress between Acolytes and Maran but I thought it was very fun to play that whole thing out.