Mon Feb 15 16:10:18 2021

At 10 o'clock AM, Day of Deception, 30th of the Month of the Old Forces
on the Theran calendar Ahrloire perished, never to return.

Rahs, thank you for giving me an opportunity to join the character challenge. I loved the character concept and I was very excited to get him rolling. Sorry for flaking out, but due to my own fault it became painful to play him near the end to the point that I'd rather work then play the game which is not how it is supposed to be.

Before I go into Ahrloire's farewell I must clear the air about Ariendil. I entered the character contest with the understanding that I would be able to keep the current character which I enjoyed immensely. What I learned very soon was how long it had been since I had read the rules. When Ariendil got pulled aside for multicharing as he and Ahrloire were both in Fortress, I felt like an idiot. The Imm was very cool in handling the situation and gave me a choice which one I wanted to keep in the cabal, and I chose Ahrloire. I thought this would be the end of the problems, but it wasn't. People would still approach Ariendil and talk about the character challenge and it got to the point where it was hard for me to keep the knowledge compartmentalized. Again I chose to give Ahrloire a chance, so Ariendil had to go.

Ahrloire followed a great contrasting idea to Ariendil and I was stoked to dive into it. I like to have a lot of character thoughts written out that do not enter in the role because that allows those to be fluid as they develop over the character's life. But these things inform almost every IC decision that they make. This was the case with Ahrloire too, but every choice for him had a reason behind it. Even the choice of swear words. Which brings me back to reading the rules, and I will address this at the very end.

Ahrloire was someone that was born to be evil but was trying to be good. He was still dealing with anger issues and dark temptations. He was supposed to be like a recovering addict that would find better ways to deal with all of that as time passed. I chose to show the struggle and difficulty, so that as time progressed the difference in behavior would be noticeable. I hope some of these things showed through, but I am not so confident that I managed to pull that off. I found it that many people came at Ahrloire with their own OOC preconception of what a paladin should be. After playing a character like Ariendil, I feel like it needs to be repeated: Not all paladins need to be perfect. Not all paladins need to represent ALL the virtues. A fire and brimstone paladin should be a valid character concept. An aggressive holy war almost whitecloak paladin should also be a valid concept. Good does not mean agreeable, or likeable, or polite, or kind. And we should all accept the other characters IC as they come at us, and let the Imms take care of what is OOC and intentional bad behavior. If you have the mindset that you should police how other people play their characters and find yourself concluding that it must be OOC if it doesn't fit your idea of how a class/race should be played, maybe you should join the staff so that you have the tools required to be able to judge the player's motives.

Daphedee, this is the second follower that I've tried and I was hoping to see more of the religion this time around. I am sorry it didn't go anywhere. It was frustrating that some character traits, which I thought were obvious, were not being picked up. One example would be that I don't think you realized that Ahrloire always saw things selfishly (his darkness was to be a thing of beauty because he was resisting it, but the darkness in others was an injustice that needed to be burned out). And I think you got frustrated at times when he would retell something and not be a reliable narrator, but that was a part of him being honest of how he saw the experiences. The essence of the disconnect, I feel, was most obvious when you told him that you don't care about morality. The whole interaction turned to be about Daphedee's amorality rather than Ahrloire's problems with morality, which was the essence of the character and becoming amoral was not something I think Ahrloire could ever be. The easy road there would have been to parrot what I know would be the well paved path in your religion. I had hoped we would get to discussing something deeper, but most of the time I feel we spent trying to relay something to each other while being frustrated that the other party isn't picking up on it. Maybe I am wrong, but that is my impression, so sorry for the frustration I had caused. And lastly I have to get it off my chest: Ahlroire was not an exemplary paladin, but I don't think he should have gone 200 hours without a virtue either. I know that each Imm is different, and I know that our interactions were difficult, and I know how entitled it sounds, but still, 200 hours of no virtue human avenger trying to get Maran is not something I would recommend to anyone.

Which brings me to getting booted from Fortress. I don't mind that he ended up out of the Fortress. I just think that the incident used was a contrived one. I did hope that it was going to be a story hook for some coolness that would come, but it didn't and that was dissapointing. What it did do was take away the only thing that the character had to do while waiting for the challenge to pick up, which was raiding and defending, and with the other character challenge people becoming less and less active, there was just nothing to do for a long while there at the end.

On to the characters I interacted with most:
Haelior, buddy if our times only would match more often! Both of our characters were too set in how they saw the world, and none of us would play the second fiddle to anyone. This conflict had to be resolved by losing some CON. I had a strong suspicion you would win the contest, but Ahrloire needed to be beaten into listening. Shame we didn't get to play it out fully.

Dollerveim. Little brother! I loved the char, you've invented so many great unique quirks for him that he is a really memorable experience. I wish we got to fight together, but eating candy and drinking weak whiskey will have to do. Keep at it, you are doing a great job.

Umbrand. Love the character! Goodies need to be in conflict more often with one another. I hope you knew there was a reason why Ahrloire "flipped out" when you dragged him to the Hall of Light. His greatest fear was to be discovered as a fraud. Being questioned about the holy texts within earshot of the Watcher was a nightmare come true. I love that you used your interpretation of the Creed and the Oath to justify the outcome of ingame stuff. That is what an Elder Prophet should do. Keep it going!

Ganndretia. I often find myself looking for someone to butt heads against with my chars. You and Umbrand were great for that. I love the character and I am still curious what REALLY happened with Tissie. Keep the mystery going.

Tristhana. Triss, little sister. I knew you would end up in that Inn. Find a good company, maybe that half-drow mage isn't that bad after all. You are doing a great job, try more intrigue and manipulation though.

Vrimold. You were not all that bad, for a prick. I am glad we got to share a few drinks before you ground all of your CON off.

Veldren. Drinking buddy! Good times man. I laughed in real life when you told me what you did with my charitable donation. Keep doing stuff like that.

Lonfedric. You had a great presence about you. I am glad I was there with you at the end, and we did end up fighting together with Ganndretia as per your last wish. Well, we fought at the same time, at the same spot, against the same enemy, which is as much as you could hope to expect I guess. Well done, man.

Erithan. Where did you drop off to? You were going to be the shining beacon that Ahrloire would try to emulate, but I barely ever saw you about. Maybe just differing playtimes? I liked what I saw, it made me curious about the character.

Ehrlon. Haelior will end up eating your soul. I've said it first. Good evil vibes, buddy, shame to see you go.

Nastrella. It is just so hard to catch camo/hide characters and we interacted only once when I managed to draw you into a talk. Too bad, I think your story is a very interesting one.

I know that this has gone too long, but I didn't forget about the language rules:
I understand that it has been this way for years, and I do not feel so strongly as to argue this point for more than a passing remark, but using '####' in the context of 'Who the #### do you think you are', which is to say it is not used in a sexual context but is used to express simple and raw frustration and anger, I think should not raise a red flag regarding the rules. I don't have the impression that there are all that many 13 year olds and less playing the game, if that is the cause for concern. I am not saying that anyone NEEDS to use that word in particular, it is not that I find it too hard to come up with an alternative, I just think things like that constrict the arena for expression and I do not see the benefit of it. I was told that someone had prayed about it, and to that person I just have to pose two questions.. Really? Why?

Sorry for the wall of text, and thanks for all the interactions I've had.

I went back and forth on whether you were really, really well RPed, or just an RL asshole who was letting his own personality shine through.

Knowing who you were playing previously makes it pretty clear which one of those you were. Well done.

I will say, I think I misunderstood what you were trying to do with Ahrloire. I was thinking you were a paladin that was descending into evil, due to distrust, obsession with killing (and forgetting the reason why), etc. It's been done before, but I thought you were doing it pretty well. I was waiting for the time we'd talk and I'd see your align change.

From this goodbye, it sounds like you were trying to grow in a way that Ahrloire learned to deal with his "dark temptations", and so on. So you'd show steady "improvement" as time went on. But IC, it seemed like the opposite.. that you were getting worse and worse, rather than learning to cope.

That could've been due to our specifical character dynamic though - I get why Umbrand (and Gann) were the subject of so much of your anger. But personally, I never saw anything in the way of positive growth.. just increasing anger and hostility.

Regarding the booting from the Fortress - honestly, I thought it was something yo uwere actively trying to make happen, and I was surprised it took that long. I agree that when it happened was probably more of a "convenient excuse" than a real reason, but the justification was already there. I think you know the conversation I'm referencing, where you definitely crossed a line. You could've been booted on the spot, and no one would have been surprised.


All in all, really well played character, as far as having legitimate, believable RP.. you told a great story. But to accomplish some of your goals (virtued, Maran, etc), I think you needed to toe the Paladin line a little better. There is (and probably should be more) room to be disagreeable in Fort, but there definitely has to be limits, and I can't imagine any viewpoint where you didn't go too far.

You especially were a focal point of one of the conflicts (Haelior being the other one) in Ahrloire's life, so you might have seen mostly one side of it. Ahrloire ended up deleted at 200 hours and he was starting to get a grip on his anger. My general idea was that, bar any outside influences changing his trajectory, he would have to fight with it his whole life and should learn how to control his anger just before he hits old age (which is around 300 hours I think). "Fight with every breath" was supposed to have a meaning. I had hoped that some progress showed when we talked last time in the Voralian guild as he was not as easy to get provoked as before, but maybe it didn't.

Maybe you're right about toing the Paladin line better. I can't be objective about it and things are what they are. Anyway, thanks for the fun interactions, and keep going.

There was something I was hoping to see from Ahrloire as a result of our talk prior to him being ejected from Fortress, but it did not happen. If the situation felt contrived, I can take some of the blame there, mostly for not being available to fully explain my choices in the moment of uninduction. Live and learn. I think you have an awareness that it was probably going to happen regardless just because of the kind of person Ahrloire was. I think the cooling down of his hot headedness came far too late to make a difference, and that is what I really wanted to see, the turn-around it seemed you were playing the long game for. You most certainly RP'd the hell out of him, and I hope you had fun.