Thu Feb 19 07:16:02 2015

At 4 o'clock PM, Day of Thunder, 31st of the Month of the Long Shadows
on the Theran calendar Drevzuhl perished, never to return.

Im emotionally exhausted tonight, so feel free to post and I will reply. I knew a lot of you and most of you were pretty effin awesome. Got a lot to say but ever since the hospital tonight I can't put my thoughts into words well. Will copy my post from the other board, and maybe add a tad.

The death of my friend tonight truly and utterly destroyed me. That's a huge reason. I logged in tonight after saying my goodbyes to her at the hospital to take my mind of stuff and feel better, but now I feel worse. It didn't help man, I'm a wreck RL over it, I've been needing to spend 3-5 days a week at the VA for my other issues, and video games for 7 hours a night isn't going to help any of that stuff. I need to take care of myself for a while.

The other reason is I am doing absolutely no good for CF by playing the massively imbalanced side. It's not helping the game and and I love this game. I'll play, but i'll play ragers. Something I can play thats no stress and casual. I need to take a step back from CF, there is a lot of RL things going on with me and I can't commit to anything High Stress like the healer was. Empire is cool, and all the players in it treated me very well and were very cool. I just cant do it anymore man. I'm sorry. Nothing personal to anyone.

I took a group to satan. I explained very clearly what I was doing and why. The torch has been passed, I hope the people that went continue to share the knowledge. That will likely be my last hell trip. It's a cool place, but I dont have the time nor energy to do it any more. I barely enjoyed the last trip to be totally honest. I hope the new breed of explorers can take it to a level I never got to. I never got to unlock the path to Dispater or Baal, I never got to explore the court of the pit fiends, and I never got to down asmodeus. Everything else I saw and did, thats enough good memories for me.

I probably won't be around CF for a while. If I do, it will be very casually. I don't dislike or hate any of the imperials. Maybe none of them even know each other, its very possible. We coordinated very well together online and it hopefully will be more balanced with me not around. Nobody wanted to play the way the range was. Like I said, I can't even look at the game the way I am right now. I have RL things that need tending to, I need to step back, get my #### together. I'm getting married in september and I need to start stepping away from gaming as much as I have, and start enjoying life more. Life is short guys, tonight really hit home for me and makes me realize how short of time we all really have. You never know how much time you got, so make the most of it people.

ps....I called the vote, I pushed like crazy to get Reegun off the throne. You're welcome everyone. Lol.

Will add a few things.

Imms-Dest and Verathi, thanks for nothing but good interactions and opportunity. I really enjoyed every moment talking to either of you. Standup guys, both of you. So thank you for making me really enjoy it.

Empire-Seems all the explorers are in one cabal ATM, a lot of it has to do with hell and a lot of it not. All of you had good attitudes, but sometimes you guys need to put your guy in the other guys shoes. A quote that my character loved to use was from the Enders game movie. Winning isn't all that matters. It's HOW we win that matters. I had a vision of people respecting the empire out of them being well, the imperial army. Not out of fear of insane full loots like the Reegun era was. He was just a poor leader and set a piss poor example. I felt we needed to be "less than savages", even respectful to enemies to a degree. Set an example to your enemies and they might return the favor when you fall. Some of you were great with it, some of you need a little work there. Make the mud fun for your enemies too. Hindsight being what it is, glad I did not get Emperor. Things turn out the way they do for a reason, it was meant to be. Xeneth, keep rockin out. Grats man.

Battle-Glad you got your truce commander. I hope you guys grow strong again, a strong village is a fun mud.

Nexus-Marintok. Is there any others? You're a champ and got balls, literally a dead cabal if it weren't for you. You're the beating heart man.

Herald-Didn't really know any, sorry.

Fort-You guys have no idea how easy it would be to turn the tide. I handed you guys and Lilyth that kill tonight on purpose, I was hoping you would ride the momentum and get some morale going. I planned on deleting after I died, that was the plan almost when I logged in. But a couple imperials logged on and I decided to have a last hurrah of a march. Last thing I wanted was one of your core guys to delete, so I'm sorry if I had anything to do with that. Should have deleted after the death and gave you guys your moment.

Outlander-Lilyth, I effin hate you. That being said, I effin love you. I liked the mutual respect. The rest of you were cool, but me and Lilyth I saw as the the two nasties. If I got on, my cabal was going to dominate the wars. If she got on, hers was. If we were both on, flip a coin, someone was going to die on either side though, and it wasn't going to be one of us unless we wanted to lol.


I tried to set an example by never taking anything I didn't directly upgrade myself with, and then leaving the spares. I can't control other peoples looting habits though, so if it came off like I was being loot happy, wasn't me most of the time. In a 4-5 man hunting party group on group when someone falls, even if everyone only takes one piece it's a big dent in your ####. I actually directly said it almost every login or whenever someone died. Leave their #### guys, we don't need it. 99.9% of anything I ever wore was #### I went and got from the area myself, or it was handed to me by another imperial randomly. I only looted a little bit, and never more than an item or two out of a corpse. No need when I can basically take a warrior or anyone else in the cabal online and go get anything I want. Black sanc is OP, black channel is even better.

Probably the last time I do a hell character. Maybe one day i'll tag along on someone elses by random chance and pretend I don't know ####. Torch has been passed, there are people capable of leading it out there now. I hope the tradition of show and be shown stays alive.


I have/had this massive obsession with exploring CF. Knowing the most of anyone, having the most secrets, knowing the areas nobody else did. I'm sure i'll always explore because I enjoy it to a degree, but somewhere along the line it became an unhealthy obsession/contest that only I was judging. I don't really give a damn about it anymore, somewhere along the line I stopped having fun at cf, just playing CF to enjoy CF, and I made it a job almost. No more of that for me.

Time to play some garbage builds, some pk builds, some cabals I do not generally play in, play a 300 hour character that never tops 3k exploration or observe, rock some ragers, stuff like that. Time to play casually again, just for the enjoyment of it. Going to take a big step back, which in turn will be a big step forward to me.

Love me or hate me, I'm just me. I can be a massive troll on the forums, and a huge asshole, but I'm not so bad most of the time. I just enjoy a good ####storm. (I try and keep that off of these forums, and leave that on QHCF) Hope you all have as fun playing CF as I plan to have when I can get back into it. No more taking it serious or trying to have all the top end gear for me, time to explore the rest of what CF has to offer. Take it to the next level for myself.

Gaplemo out for a while. See you in the fields, just not the way I've seen you in the fields before.

At first I wasn't super excited as healers are a little bit of a tough fit in my religion. Then we met and you showed me your approach and I was like "Huh, I didn't even think to try it like that. I like this guy". From then on, your ceiling with me was pretty high. Sad to see this and I am sorry for your loss. I will be glad to see you in the future.

Come back when it's right for you.

Since you were the sphere knowledge imm, the idea totally fit.

I heavily used the collector character from the marvel universe as an inspiration for the start of this guy. The collector isn't inherently powerful, or really scary. It's his massive collection of knowledge that he has acquired over time that makes him so respected and such a force to be reckoned with. Drev was all about knowledge being real power. Tactics and intellect, the enclave way.

It was like you said in the empowerment interview. It's not just about having all the knowledge, it's about how you use that knowledge you collect that makes you the king.

I had huge goals man. I feel like if life had just dealt me a different hand I could have achieved them too. I had plenty of life and time in my character to reach them, I was a sect leader at like level 40 and 50ish hours as a drow, I could have hit 1000 hours probably had I stuck with him. No way con death was an option.

For anyone that hasn't tried Verathi as an immortal, I would put him for sure in the top 10 of imms I have ever followed since 1996. And I have damn near followed all of them, that's a huge compliment. Highly recommend trying him, its a very cool, very unique experience and his RP was top notch. After both of our meetings I felt driven to make my character better and take my game up a notch, that's a cool feeling to get after a meeting with your deity.

thanks for the comment it does feel like I am lone rangering it sometimes, but I really liked your rp...you actually seemed almost creepy to me, and that is what I would want in a evil guy. Like i was not sure about you, but felt like you might say hi, or just try and kill me because I was in the way. Oh well just gave me the creeps so i guess great evil rp. Good luck with your next and sorry to hear about your friend.