Hi all,

Winners are as follows. Comments and prizes to follow!

Winner: Etielise

Runners up:

Aleksarin
Inger
Humbert
Ahtieli
Derv
Ruhktanshi
Ilmav


Good work everyone!

If you're on the above post and you didn't get a note, let us know.

Commentary/feedback still to come.

n/t

Yup. I worked it up just before the forums died, and since then my CF time has been going at the forums or the game itself.

Anyway, here it is.


As a preface, let me say that roles overall this time weren't bad.
Roles we pulled into the inner circle were more based
on the ones we liked best than any flaws in the roles we didn't, in
most cases. Thus, take any commentary for what it is
and not too personally. Probably commentary for some of the losers
will sound more favorable than some of the winners, and
anyone who analyzes any of this too much is taking it all too
seriously and wasting their time.
Aside to about 20 of you: Your entry note didn't include me, so
you're lucky you got judged.

Khurga - The attempt to write this in a unique voice just didn't work for us.

Jalenkan - Kind of interesting but very rambling. I just couldn't buy this character's motivations as making sense for elf Battle. Per Baer, you should have been sphere combat. Just sayin'.

Ckath - Not great. There was just a lot more length of role than
anything interesting going on here. Rayihn managed to
finish this one but I just couldn't summon the energy/interest to keep reading.

Aleksarin - Could have used a little proofreading but overall this is
a pretty original role presentation. Not that we
haven't seem roles vaguely of this form before, and not that it was
the most original character idea we ever saw, but it
did a good job of being different enough to be interesting, yet believable.

Etielise - Wow, that's original. We both liked this one a lot. I
personally thought this character maybe should be sphere Love, though. (Rayihn agrees and shakes her fist at you)

Cyruil - You wrote 18 f'in chapters! Are you trying to kill me? The
updates are a good play by play, though, and there's
clearly a lot of effort into this character's RP. I would have
preferred a role that held as much meaning in somewhat less
words.

Gabriella - A bit strangely formatted. The story of this character's
odd crossbreeding origins didn't do it for me.

Hagart - Kind of interesting, not bad. I liked what you did with your religion choices/explanation. I wouldn't be shocked
if this made the winners circle on another contest.

Sessenerian - Deleted, so I didn't read it.

Dragrahl - Deleted, so I didn't read it.

Arathu - Wood elves are Celtic? Who knew? A nice start and kind of
interesting but not a winner this time.

Aarendehl - So we're an Amaranthe druid. Decently well written, but,
eh, took a lot of words to not really say very much
about the character.

Teldasill - Needs more apostraphes. Some interesting ideas here but
overall I found it dense and hard to read. (Purely Rayihn comment:
After reading 1000+ roles I can tell who you are by the writing style, and I'd like to say I've read MANY of your other roles and loved them, and this one paled a bit next to some of your other stand outs. Your writing style is a bit hard for me to read.)

Duorlok - Not terrible, but fairly bland. We couldn't get excited
about this one relative to some other entries.

Inger - Battle cloud girl! I found the first chapter in accent hard
to read but overall it's pretty good.

Istdinen - Elf Yean Acolyte healer. This isn't bad, but there were
stronger entries.

Kayella - Deleted, so I didn't read it.

Jil - This seems like the role for another character only
half-heartedly recycled.

Waris - Tres cliched. This really felt like a role written to try to
gain immXP, and reading it felt like work. Moving on!

Jhengar - It's original, but all over the place and it's hard at times to discern what the point is. Similar ideas could
have been a much better role with a little more focus.

Deas - Despite the fact that it quotes Train, we actually enjoyed this role and found ourselves wanting to keep reading it.
That right there pushed it into the winners circle.

Jessitrai - Not extremely well written technically but pretty
interesting conceptually. We wished the role had managed to
say more for using as many words as it did.

Deijnar - This started off really good, but it almost seemed like the
second chapter was written by someone else. Overall
it wasn't on the winner level for us.

Galtholnicus - I liked this role, but, I found his motivation for
being Battle a bit forced and hard to believe. It just seemed so much more thin and contrived than everything else in the story. Rayihn felt that something better could have been crafted out of the
character's sphere and some of the basic ideas here.

Krugan - Kind of an interesting start but I'm not sure where it's
going. This had the kind of spark that often exists in
roles we pick to win, but it just didn't quite get there against this competition.

Leshene - Kind of an interesting Herald role. Good first chapter,
decently well written. Past that chapter, it took a lot
of entries to not say very much.

Humbert - Vanilla, yet, overall good and we liked the updates. Also:
17 chapters, are you also trying to kill me?

Orunthaza - Blah blah blah goth blah blah blah emo blah blah eshval
blah blah. Improving the technical parts of the
writing style and breaking this up into paragraphs a bit better
probably would have helped this one a lot. I'm not bashing
the ideas here, but it was just very hard to read.

Naboueh - Unlike the 20 people who wrote a note to Baerinika but not
to me, you wrote it to me and not to Baerinika. Because there were a lot more of those people and I didn't realize
there were any of you, I judged from her list and you
got screwed. Now that I read the role, it's actually pretty good.

Hawa - Some interesting ideas, well written overall but not a lot of
meat to be found.

Teliel – You're a wood elf ranger outlander…journalist?? Jigga what?

Ahtieli - Nice Empire necromancer role, kind of interesting, kind of
twisted. It made me want to keep reading to see where it was going to go next. English isn't so hot but I'm sure it's not your native tongue.

Diskasii - Eh. I think I would have liked this role for caveranger
but I'm not loving it for a sha role. (Baer comment: Daevryn managed to read this one, I couldn't finish it)

Derv - #### I like this role. Beyond that our commentary was approval of the nature of the character, which I won't
discuss in more depth here.

Glordath - We sure like jaguars. Not badly written, just, I don't
know. It doesn't set my pants on fire.

Ashur - Writing was good, story doesn't really excite me.

Aerlach - Deleted!

Kehade - Average role. Nothing really wrong with it but also nothing
that we got excited about here.

Jhailou - Rowr wild felar ranger not need apostraphes! Music. It was all right but not of a winner caliber in this
contest.

Pargtorix - Your motivation for hating magic doesn't seem believable to me. Eh.

Osswyne - Paladins are also too holy for apostraphes. It's an okay
story but we weren't in love. I didn't really see
paladin from it. It's like, you told this story, and I felt a
disconnect between it and how your character actually turned
out.

Atherton - Deleted!

Vormand - This is interesting, but the role didn't seem to go with
what this character is class/etc.-wise. Maybe I'm not clever enough to get it.

Bolrek - Fairly vanilla, didn't really say much about the character.

Sekeda - Fairly generic role for this character's alignment/class/religion/etc.

Grimatikos - Not badly written, but it didn't wow us. At times we
questioned what this role was trying to say.

Etienne - D-elf A-P. Eh. Dark vanilla. Not bad, just not compelling or exciting compared to the competition.

Nitch - Decent. We were pleasantly surprised as we kept reading. I
liked the character's relationship to his magic.
Nothing wrong with this one, it just wasn't quite one of the stand-outs to us.

Ruhktanshi - We liked this one; it made me wish I was a little more
ambitious in crafting special rewards for the winners
this time around, but, alas. It was the flaws and your treatment of
them that put this role over the top for me.

Zanarlok - Rambling, stream of consciousness role that doesn't seem to be saying much. Moving on!

Ilmav - A good role start. I'm not sure if it was the quality of the
writing or what, but somehow this role just seemed to
stand a bit above some other roles with similar elements.

Hamdtrauk - Pretty good job summing up the character in one chapter,
but not a winner this time around. I did think about
picking it just because it really is the kind of role I like to deal
with as a non-role-contest-running immortal, but it
just wasn't quite there for me.

Sletren - Kind of a different role for this kind of character, not too bad.

That you actually didn't just smash down on Khurgas role. Reread it now... I must have written it weee early in the morning. It's kinda bleh.

Though I thought Ckaths role would be more interesting, but yeah I agree. It's to long, need to learn how to write things shorter. Shouldn't be writing novels for roles, makes them hard to play out as well.

Glad to see the comments though. Keep up the kickass work.

Naboueh - Unlike the 20 people who wrote a note to Baerinika but not
to me, you wrote it to me and not to Baerinika. Because there were a lot more of those people and I didn't realize
there were any of you, I judged from her list and you
got screwed. Now that I read the role, it's actually pretty good.


Well I guess there is always next time so long as I make sure to include all imm names.

n/t

I'm morally devastated.

See above post, specifically:

"Comments and prizes to follow!"

There were around 50 entries. Some of them had 17-18 long chapters. It was all we could do to get winners picked by this morning. Our commentary will follow and prizes will be assigned when we get the chance, hopefully in the next day or two.

And then I realized, oh wait, I write the role so I can roleplay better, not so I can get cool rewards. *Mutter*

PS Daevryn I'm so going to PK you and Valg and loot all your Fire Giant's n00bie breadz with my soon-to-be rolled elf.

DaBull rox!