I reposted this on this forum a long while back but it got eaten when the forums croaked. I just thought it was funny, smart, and applicable and I think the CF community needs to see this again because too many people haven't. Everything after this paragraph was written by Nepenthe during an extended CF downtime.


As long as CF seems to be out of commission for the moment I thought I'd try to start a "fun" thread.

So: Vaguely in the tradition of the X for Dummies and Complete Idiot's Guide to X book lines, I present the first non-elitist guide towards being elite (with hopes of seeing more).

Everything I Really Needed to Know about CF I Learned From Watching the Karate Kid

Black Belts from J.C.Penney's

Artificial rankings of eliteness, such as how many years you've played, how many heroes you've had, and even your PK record are ultimately just that -- artificial.

Wax on, Wax off

Lesson: Listen to your elders. Sometimes they know what they're talking about, even if you don't understand why or think they may be exploiting you for menial labor. On the other hand, sometimes there is value in challenging the knowledge passed down by your elders.

That whole scene with the dance/party and the fight afterwards

Lesson: If you go attack the giant alone with six ragers on, don't be too surprised if you quickly find six people bashing you.

Mr. Miyagi intervening in that fight

Lesson: Competent backup is priceless.

Walk on right side of road, ok. Walk on left side of road, ok. But, walk in middle of road, sooner or later squish just like grape.

Lesson: Either go all in full offensive or run the hell away when the opportunity to fight presents itself. Either way can work out for you. Hanging around for a few rounds to see how you do is generally a bad idea and will get you squished like a grape.

Mercy is for the weak. We do not train to be merciful here. A man confronts you on the street, he is your enemy. Enemies deserve no mercy.

Lesson: That pretty much says it. Unless your role lends itself to mercy, don't be merciful. It can only bite you in the ass later.

This is a Karate Dojo, not a knitting class...You don't drop a challenge and leave, old man

Lesson: Don't talk smack unless you plan on backing it up. It doesn't win you any respect.

Karate here, karate never here.

Lesson: Gear is transient. Powers are transient. Character skills are transient. Even area knowledge can be transient at times. Player skills last forever.

Fear does not exist in this dojo. Pain does not exist in this dojo. Defeat does not exist in this dojo.

Lesson: Attitude goes a long way.

Nobody touches the prima donna until the tournament.

Lesson: If you can trick your enemies to fighting on your terms, you hold a significant advantage.

Sweep the leg.

Lesson: Cheaters never prosper. . . at least, not forever.

Lesson: If you don't make actually winning your goal (rather than some stupid thing like saccing your opponent's weapon before you die) you never really will.

Crane Kick. If done correctly, no can defense.

Where do I even begin?

Lesson: A perfectly executed attack is tough to beat.

Lesson: If you see your opponent do something that seems stupid but they wind up looting your corpse. . .maybe it wasn't really stupid.


However, in the less well known sequel, Daniel busts out the Crane Kick on his adversary with less than satisfying results. You could look at this a few ways.

Maybe the kick wasn't done right. Lesson: Be on the guard against your ego. You might not be as good as you think you are.

Or, maybe it was. Lesson: There isn't one strategy that's good in any one situation. No can defense, my ass, old man. Strive to avoid becoming a "one trick pony" or "bash spammer" or whatever you want to call it.


However, by the end of the movie Daniel wins as always.

Lesson: Just because you've only seen one trick from someone doesn't automatically make them a one-trick pony. It may be that they only need that one trick to beat you. Don't be surprised if they bust out a new one when the occasion calls for it.