How do you keep your role current and describe things that would affect your character, without taking up space? Let me describe something to you that happened to me just last night.

I showed up to get an MRI done, at this place that specializes in seated style MRI's. It was about 630 pm when I got there, because I worked 7-3 that day, and I work an hour from home, and this was the soonest I could get cleaned up and get in there, so it was fairly dark when I pulled up.

I walked in, and was greeted by this creepy looking security guard with a 70's pornoesque douchestache. He seemed friendly enough and we chatted while I filled out my paperwork. He asked what I do for a living, and when I told him we talked about the security industry and different companies we had worked for. When they called me back, I had a slightly more favorable impression of him, but he still set off my creep-dar rather loudly for some reason.

The woman led me back, and had me strip to my boxers (not briefs, the boys need room to breathe), take out my nipple ring and put on a gown. This unfortunately wasn't a normal hospital gown but a bright powder blue scrub style gown. I looked REAL gay, and figured the night was as bad as it would get. I was wrong.

As she led me into the MRI room, she handed me a hair net, of the same color as the gown. I raised an eyebrow at her, since I have short hair, but she just said I had to put it on. Policy. Then she went and opened a rather large cabinet, and inside were thick plastic rings and my first thought was that they looked like collars for slaves. Yeah, guess what she started doing then. Yep. Taking different collars out and trying them on me, to see which one fit best.

I pointed out to her that I had seen Planet of the Apes, and she wasn't fooling me. That if Dr. Zaius jumped out at me, I was going to kick his dirty-ape ass. She laughed and then told me to wait till she put the leash on me. I thought she was kidding. She wasn't. There was in fact a long plastic leash that she attached to the collar, before sitting me in this chair.

So there I sit in my homosexual finery, wearing a thick, heavy collar (I suspect they were lead filled for some reason, or possibly magnetic because the collar was frigging HEAVY) and leash, thinking THIS was truly as bad as it could get. Wrong again, Doug.

She starts to lower this thing, that looked vaguely like a white plastic crown of thorns on a long arm. After it was in place around my head, I noticed a single long crank extending from the center of the contraption, which she tightened down some on my head, leaving about 9 inches of white plastic protruding from the front of my head. I was now the most fabulously powder-blue unicorn on a leash and collar to have ever lived. I was immediately grateful that my daughter wasn't there with me, because she would have no doubt pointed this out and called me something like "Princess" or "Bluebelle", and asked to have me fitted for a saddle.

So the tech then informs me that they do this sitting style of MRI because it's a stress position for the back, the way they have you positioned, and they do this to show how the spine looks under stress. She said laying down MRI's are inferior, and she's sorry but they are going to make me really uncomfortable for the duration. I didn't realize when we started that the duration would be *3* frigging hours. Needless to say, there was much gimping as Bluebelle went into the stable and turned back into my normal macho self, sans my dignity.

The tech told me I had to wait a few minutes while they proofed my films, and told me to wait in the waiting room. My new buddy the security guard was there, waiting for me with a creepy smile, a handshake, and the disclosure that he liked to collect WWII Nazi memorabilia. But not just ANY memorabilia. SS memorabilia. Guns, daggers, bayonets, helmets, and the prize of his collection? An SS armband, worn by a commandant of a concentration camp, as he was being executed after the war. Yeah, my night was going just great.

After this little revelation, the floodgates were opened and he told me all about how he wishes we could hunt people who deserve it, and how the people he seemed to think deserved it were mostly people who he had worked for, who in his eyes had wronged him, and I was afraid a manhug was coming, when the receptionist came out with my films.

The capper to my evening was being escorted to my car (technically my wife's car, mine was destroyed about 2 weeks ago) by this psycho and his mustache, and having him pat my hip as I got into my wifes Escalade. Then I got to drive home, taking my abject and utter humiliation and discomfort with me.

This was 3 hours of my life, and aside from the deep desire to sleep clutching my gun last night, lest the nutjob come for me in my sleep, not exactly a life changing experience. I would think the life changing events that go into a role would be a little more in depth. Otherwise my whole story would have been "Had an MRI last night. It sucked". Yeah you get that I had an MRI and it sucked, but you lose the details and flavor of the story by keeping it too brief.

All this being said, it's Anliltuel's role contest to run however he wants. Don't like it, don't enter. But longer, detailed, well written role entries will ALWAYS be more entertaining than their shorter well written counterparts. Everyone likes a good story afterall. ESPECIALLY about gay blue unicorns.