"I cringe because so few who play this game understand the basics of what compromises an ethical code"

Except that CF *has* an ethical code, laid out by the gods that enforce it. You're applying too much real-life thought to a fantasy game. A fantasy game that has black-and-white truths that don't exist in the real world.

"There are so many situations where it has to be ok"

Yes, this is why I - and others - have stated that we're against a hard-coded solution for it.

"and so many others where it really should be encouraged"

This is not true.

"always act with the intention of doing the greatest good for the greatest number of people."

Intentions are wonderful, and certainly play a big part in defining your character, but in the end they're almost worthless for gauging your characters alignment on a consistent basis. Odrig gave some good examples in his reply to your post.