Role

Chapter 4

When you put it that way, I guess it isn't so different now. Getting the
hut from the drillmaster was a big day, and I have more tools now than I
did before, but in the end I'm doing what I'd have been doing anyway. Sure
there're more people to talk to, some new responsibilities to these other
people, and a lot of holding my nose around foul smelling fire giants and
the like, but all in all I'd say it's become more a part of what I do rather
than changing what I do. Some of them seem like people I'd have been friends
with, back when I had friends, and most of them at least have my respect.
One or two have neither my like nor my respect but nobody's perfect and I'm
holding judgment until more time's passed. Can't imagine what they think of
me and honestly I'm not sure I care. I've been spending a lot of my time
honing skills, trying to live up to the Imperator's standards, and, a bit
of a revelation for me, even more important, my own standards. While I may
have once followed that path for his praise, now I follow it because it's
just right. I hear these others announce their small victories or defeats,
and come up with all the excuses why they fall or how much better they are
than their enemies (one in particular was so absurdly demeaning it was almost;role + surely a sign of mental illness) and I cringe. The first time or two I fell
I had to bite my lip and use discipline to keep from sniping at my foe, but
now it is merely instinct, for what purpose is served? The combat was its own
reward, and victory is not only in the moment, it is the long game, and in the
end it will be mine.

But since you're buying this round I'll offer up one bit of complaint: all
these orcs! And others that I find foul but would pass by in search of my
true prey. I admit no part of me saddens when these scum fall, but while
all the mages seem to run away and hide so I can hardly ever find and fight
one let alone kill her, all these other orcs and imperial slaves and people
who don't seem to have any point at all just come up and make annoyances of
themselves. You know how it is. I value the melee and in the moments of
movement and the planning for battles I cannot complain, but seeing the forest
for the tress I must say it does not bode well for the war against magic itself.
It's almost as if the mages are using all these others as stooges, keeping me
and the others busy while they grow strong. Remind me when I'm sober again
so I remember, that I and all of us need to redouble our efforts to keep our
eyes on the prize and not be diverted. Now enough of that, pass me some of
that mutton. I've had so much venison, that Grime seems to have nothing but
deer in his pasture!