Role

Chapter 1

Days, weeks of oafish drunken behavior all blur together for Bezzilan.
The anguish was overwhelming. The uncaring disdain for the trappings of
life and courtesy and utter lack of joy at even the things formerly most
cherished manifested not only in his interactions but in his art.
More alcohol was consumed than perhaps ever before by any human in all
Thera's history. Some depressed dwarf probably beat that, but who knows.
Wallowing in self pity kept him in the cycle of pain, a constant
two sentence mental conversation: How can you fix murdering someone? You can't.
No way out, no path to redemption. Spiraling into an abyss of despair.

Until he met with Rayihn. Where once there was resignation, she brought hope.
Where once there was surrender, she brought hope. Where once there was pain,
she brought healing. Perhaps also a knuckle shaped impression in his forehead.

He came away with more than his old spirit back though. More than simply a
return to life the day before his tragic mistake. No. He is perhaps less than
he was in some ways, but he is far, far more. As Rayihn made clear, he is
not a god. She may always be right, but it was sheer arrogance to think he
would live an infallible life. He knows that know. He has tasted the bitterness
of making the worst of all mistakes, for him. And he has come through it, with her
help. There is a wisdom there, and with this newfound depth he has a renewed
vigor to engage, to explore, to find not only sights and sounds, but perhaps meaning,
and to bring that to others.

He continues to find genuine bewilderment each time someone mentions someone being
made of light or darkness, as though we are all not flesh and blood (in his case, maybe
a bit more ale in that blood than others!). Light and dark are just things that
make it easier or harder to see. When the sun is out or it isn't, night and day.
People are not made of light or dark, they are made of their deeds, and each does as
each chooses. He has made his choice. And she is not shy of sharing that. But he
respects others' choices. He tells how he believes, but he doesn't push and push and
push. At the very least he can hope to reduce the unintended murdering, if not the
intentional. Only time will tell.