You can post all the verbatim logs you want, I know exactly what I said.

There are two situations where I went into a childish OOC rant.

1) After a gang down by the fort, it was at the Archmage and I was with Kalisda.

2) To Dupasmoine after he looted the blademaster's gloves just to give them to some lowbie pally because Ailen had deleted. He had no reason to loot, he had everything he wants or could ever need in a set of gear, he felt like he "earned it". This enraged me because Dupasmoine has loads of IMM given abilities, virtues and look at the set he's built. I'm the worst matchup possible I needed everything I had to even stand a chance at fighting him.

I apologized IC and here for both those situations.

This is whats being misconstrued:

"To give an example, Derogker talks about this nice IC note he wrote to me, but he doesn't mention that the very night before writing it he went on a huge rant about what a "stupid bitch" Mergulla is. I really try and brush things like this off but I'm only human and they genuinely do bother me. Further, they completely extinguish my will to play this game. And maybe that's the intention."

Yes I said I wrote a note, I said it was respectful yada yada yada, I also stated I had some OOC rage fits and apologized for them.

Yes I called her a bitch among other things in a fit of rage no denying that here. Yup it was some messed up ####.

The fact of the matter is that this fit would have probably never occurred if someone got off there ass and interacted with the Cabal instead of just making leaders every 400 hours.

Making the statement above implies that you didn't deserve it. Ill say again: Was it wrong...? Yes it was but in my opinion she deserved it. Not in the way I raged but something needed to be said, I just didn't go about it the right way. And the fact of the matter is there is no "right way" to tell an IMM there doing #### that's f.u.c.k.e.d up because 9 times out of 10 there not gonna listen and no one is gonna care.

From Isildur:

"Seriously. If someone goes on a mean-spirited rant, you really shouldn't feel any guilt over completely ignoring that person. Both after and before said rant.

Now if someone deletes and is like, "I really liked this character and wanted to do some cool stuff, but I guess Mergulla hated me because I never heard from her over the 200 hours I prayed for her," and if they really did pray for you for 300 hours and didn't totally suck, and those 200 hours weren't condensed into 8 RL days, then you can feel a little guilty. But I'm guessing that doesn't happen very often, if ever."

This is how it should have been done yes, but that's the exact situation I'm coming from.

People tried for the better part of 300 hours to interact with you, but you didn't give a ####.

Kalisda went to your shrine almost every time she logged on, you ignored her.

Other people: i.e current scions, applicants also made an effort to visit Mergulla's shrine....all they got was silence.

When I first met Aberntye's transmuter I was in my gungho I love this char mode and this cabal. And one of the first things he said to me after giving me an item was:

Drustrui tells you 'It was a gift for my Queen but you can have it as she ignores me.'

There it is, exact log, verbatim.

Now this was loooaaads of time before any of these situations. So right out of the gate I was like "Hmmm well this sucks Mergulla must not be a good IMM influence if she ignores people for so long."

It wasn't just Drustrui, Lornis after inducting me was like "Yea...I have not seen the queen in some time"

Frismund: "I have not seen the queen in centuries"

All these are waaaaaaay before I even heroed. So go ahead and defend or miscontrue the situation all you want the fact of the matter is SHE WANS'T DOING HER JOB.

I was not being an asshole without some kind of justification and that's how she is letting on, Like I was just a #### for no reason.

Myself and Kalisda went to the shrine did a fancy RP session...and it was ignored. I realize this was post rant and that's why it was ignored so I will exclude it.

The fact of the matter is YOU CANNOT PLAY THREE IMM PERSONA'S AND JUST INDUCT LEADERS. Interaction, presence, wisvis is included in supporting a Cabal, you are an IMP you know this of all people. We as mortals like to know your around, that you give a ####, that we are going to be able to work for something positive/cool/rewarding.