#1 I remember that you were 'from' Darsylon it came up in my interview. Van just wasn't thrilled with her homeland is all.

#2 You were right on the money coming down on me. I didn't have the bell's palsy thing until after our talk. i was doing good, getting it together and had pretty much quit dying and started killing when i got it. Sometimes the slow moving was because of poor connection (been having alot of storms lately)and I didn't know to turn on brief descriptions until very recently. I was surprised it really makes a difference. sometimes it was: okay do I have these spells up, what do I need to do, get that wand out.. umm what am I forgetting. etc..
part of it was you cannot imagine how many differnt people told me to stay out of things and stay safe, I had assumed there was some underlying reason for it that I was unaware of, in reality it was probably each person thought no one else had giving me such advice, but hearing it from almost everyone in the fort kinda made me second guess myself each time. 'til you spoke to me, which trumped everyone else so unless directly ordered by someone whom Van considered 'higher' up than herself, she just quit listening.
no offense to anyone
I think I went out okay, had i seen the rot though i'd have gone down swinging, i really thought that getting out healing up and coming back in was a viable choice.
I did pass on in the fort, alone on the snow-covered ledge. imho the nicest place in the fort. and was at peace.
as for pk wins, I dunno how many times before that I had blasted someone within an inch of their life and either someone comes in to 'save' me and gets the last blow in, or was with me already and got the last blow. but I figured that was cool by vana's outlook, all that mattered was that that particular 'fiend' had been put down for a while.
The dwarf-elf angle: I would have gone more into that, but then ya went upstairs on me. not that we had a whole lot of time for philisophical/political talks.

Seems that recovery is coming along and all, but it sure made me think twice about alot of things in my life.
one nice thing is the doc says beer is okay, I get to use it as a 'muscle relaxant'. even my GF has encouraged me to drink.
Now if i don't become an alchoholic loser everything will be fine.