I did not know you much but all I saw was a lowbie killer (Even if you claimed you were not.) You went to kill left and right so in Sakard's mind, you were that. If a God tells you something, it's the mortal's word to try and change his mind, to prove him wrong (Like trying to do better) I am sure you could have worked it out. As for the gear...You should not worry about it too much since it's just that, gear. It's not gear that make the char.