Role

Chapter 11

Admund tried to breathe more evenly, to find a point of balance in the
turmoil in his soul. He even reached for the spirits to help him, but the
tormenting thoughts would just not go away. He would that his Brother would
have been freed first. That way, he could have been truly free to look at
himself honestly and decide if the cost was worth his own life and freedom.
His Brother's choice had taken this opportunity from him. A piece of the
mother's soul, for the freedom of her child. Was it a fitting end for
Lyrentia? Was it an acceptable price if it was taken or was it bearable only
if it was freely given? In spite her evil, did she deserve to be devoured by
the Beast in the Dark?

As tears welled up in his eyes, he knew the answers. He squeezed the acorn in
a trembling fist, holding to it dearly lest he lose it from his grip and
recognized the answers for what they were. The anger of the abandoned child.
The deep pain of disillusionment brought by the realization that Lyrentia was
an uncaring mother. The cheap, base thrill of her receiving some form of
righteous comeuppance. All of them were answers given in pain induced
blindness. There was no wisdom in them. He had stood to his convictions when
faced by the dread of the Immortal Morius. He had claimed boldly that he
would not be the jailor even of one such as Beroxxus. How could he be the
jailor or Lyrentia? Was her evil greater? Was her defilement more deserving
of punishment than that of the Ill Omen? No. All slavery is to be opposed.
Each spirit, must rule its fate freely, not under the will of others.

He braced his knees and burred his face in that deadman's embrace. A man in
his prime ought to know who he is. Whatever tribulations had passed, must
have formed them into a certain shape. After all, even Chaos was required
only for the free spirit to take its true freedom. It was not required so
that all things, spirits and thoughts alike, would remain formless. But what
does one do with a non-returnable, overpriced and unwanted gift? One
purchased by un unspeakable price to self and others? A gift--life instead of
death. What is the value of a life when it is borne by such a cost? What is
the value of freedom when it is burdened by guilt?