Role

Chapter 1

Things can change so quickly. I was an anonymous Squire only a short time
ago. I fought quietly, but I fought well. Soon, my enemies began to learn
my name. Began to fear it, I think. Then came the moment when I was
called to the Mists of the Jaguar. The goddess Baerinika herself wanted a
moment of my time. It had been many years since we'd spoken in person.
Overdue, I thought. And I had no idea what was in store for me.

We spoke of the ongoing war. Of the shifting alliances of our more fickle
Therans. Of the sadness of Ilvakihj's death. Of the renewed resolve we
had to continue the fight.

And then it happened. Without warning, she asked me to take upon the
mantle of Captain of the Brigade.

I never would have thought myself suited for this role. I almost declined
it.. but I didn't. My father taught me that responsibility truly belongs
to those that don't crave it. I trust his words. And I could never
question the Spearmaiden's judgement. And I accepted the faith she had in
me. And the newfound responsibility that entailed.

But still.. how do I lead this Fortress of individuals? After all, I
hesitated before ever joining them. I wondered if I could fall in line,
follow the orders of another. I learned long ago that I should never let
others make decisions for me. I can think for myself and make decisions
for myself. But I gave Captain Ilvakihj an oath that I would serve
loyally and without pause. And as uncomfortable as it was, I never broke
those words.

Now I find that I am the Captain. I am the one whom the others look to
for guidance. For direction. For orders. How do you lead, when you know
each is capable of leading themselves? You don't need rules, after all,
to live a righteous life. To fight a righteous war. You need only your
own morality, and the courage to act on what you know is true.

Lady Baerinika told me she expected me to be a beacon for the others to
look to. Perhaps that is the key. Don't tell them what to do, tell them
what to think, or tell them what they should believe. Just show them that
I act on what I know. Let them know they should do the same. They are not
my pawns. They are not mine to control.

I suppose that is it, then.. we need to be certain that those who fight
with us fight for the right reasons. And understand those reasons. And
can act on them without orders. Without a list of written rules.
Otherwise, would we truly be any different from the Empire? A scary
thought. But we ARE different. We must be.

This will be interesting, I'm sure. I think my only real concern is the
elder Squires and Maran. Many of them looked at me as a subordinate only
recently. Now will they accept me as Captain? I hope so.. and I expect
so. We cannot afford to have those driven by greed corrupting us from
within. And I don't believe we do. They will accept it. And we will go on
to victory.