Role

Chapter 4

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Drahmim is a firm believer in honesty - expressing his true feelings,
regardless of the trouble it may cause him. This does mean that he is
callous or disrespectful, as he does attempt to soften the emotional blow
his words may cause. He understands that there are times when it is not
healthy or safe to be emotionally honest, however he believes that overall
society would be better off if everyone were more truthful.

By acting honestly with others, he thinks that it may encourage them to be
more emotionally honest as well.

In many ways, Theran society teaches us to ignore, repress, deny and lie
about our feelings. For example, when asked how we feel, most of us will
reply "fine" or "good," even if that is not true. Often, people will also
say that they are not angry or not defensive, when it is obvious that they
are.

Children, however, start out honest. They express their true feelings
freely and spontaneously. But the training to be dishonest begins at an
early age. Parents and teachers frequently encourage or even demand that
children speak or act in ways which are inconsistent with the child's
true feelings. The child is told to smile when actually he is sad. He is
told to apologize when he feels no regret. He is told to say "thank you,"
when he feels no appreciation. He is told to "stop complaining" when he
feels mistreated. He may be told it is "rude" and "selfish" to protest
being forced to act in ways which go against her feelings.

Through all of this the child learns they can't be honest with their
feelings. They gradually stop being emotionally honest with their parents,
their teachers, their friends and even themselves. They learn it just
doesn't pay to be express one's true feelings. Distrust and hatred rule
the land.

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