Role

Chapter 2

Iunna respects me. She actually respects me. All this time, I wasn't sure.
I thought She didn't like me. I thought She didn't care. Well, no, I knew
She cared, but I wasn't certain what about. She kept showing that She cared
every time She talked to me, but I thought it was just not wanting me to
screw something up. Now I know better.

It took me a very long time to become a Herald, and I don't mean joining
them, though it took a while to do that, as well. I originally wanted to be
one simply because it was convenient, a good base of operations for my
manipulations, and a good excuse to be involved with many people without
suffering wrath. I don't know if She saw that.I don't think She did, but
She certainly didn't let me in right away, and I resented Her for it.

For a very long time, I was publicly displeased with Her. Even after I
started to admire Her, I tried to keep up that public appearance. It made me
want to never show any weakness in front of Her, and even now, I act that way
around Her, almost unconsciously. After I became a Herald, the displeasure
and secret admiration turned more to fear, but I would never admit that to
Her. No, though I was afraid of Her, I made certain to conceal it as best I
could. It certainly made me feel awkward around Her though.

I'm not quite sure when I actually became a Herald. I think it was a gradual
change that took place over a long period of time. I do know when I realized
I was one, though. It was just after I was married. I had decided that
Lyristeon just wasn't worth it anymore and was, instead, using my connections
to try to do some good.I found myself able to communicate with every Cabal
and thus have them communicate with each other, even if they didn't realize.

Iunna, though, I wasn't sure she was noticing, but She pulled me aside one
day, talked to me. She told me that I'd been doing a lot for the Heralds and
She thought highly of me. I was very touched, very confused, due to my
relationship with Her, but very touched. I used to detest Her, now I'm not
sure how to feel. I suppose I'll figure it out, eventually, but just knowing
how much Iunna respects me says a lot. I'm finally proud to be a Herald.