Role

Chapter 4

Or perhaps my birth was when I stole my way away from this burning freezing
wasteland and into a city, though I did not even know what it was called or
what it represented at the time. I remember slinking about as timid as any
small defenseless creature, steeling sights and sounds and learning so very
much for so long. For days I would sit with only dried rat meet and a small
supply of water above the library, and the places that I learned to be called
guildhalls. One in particular entranced me, for it was relatively easy to
enter without much chance of being caught. I still study within to this day,
but I am a well established member now instead of a mere starving vagabond.
Oh how I loved this, not only thrill of likely risking my life to sneak in to
watch as these men could cause pain with simple words! I believe sitting
there in the dark rafters of the guild sneaking glimpses at what they studied
and held, watching as they tested their forbidden mantras, watching as they
learned how to even steal another mans very soul to empower themselves, I
think this is the first time I smiled. And as I think back on it, it was not
figuring out for myself the stolen powers and skills to hurt another human
being, no no, far from, it was in fact I believe the simple pursuit of
knowledge that truly drove my spirit, learning more and more of what I did
not know! Ah how I will miss sneaking about from library to guildhall,
stealing books to know more only to replace them for I had no where to keep
them nor did I wish to carry them. Stealing into places that were guarded to
know more.. always to know more and more and more. This drove me for many
years until I was nearly an adult, and even then I continued my ways, though
sneaking about was harder then before with my new found size and strength. Ah
these days, how they will forever hold a cherished spot in my most fond
memories, not that I have truly that many.

It was sometime after I began to have trouble shifting from hiding place to
hiding place that I finally realized a few things. I realized that I would
have to become a member of this society and likely one of these halls of
study if I wished to continue learning as I have been, to even learn more of
the carefully guarded secrets of the halls. I also realized that something
was growing in me. At the time I thought it only perhaps a wish to fit in, to
be a part of something grander then myself and to make a name of legend for
myself, for I did after all come from nothing but a dark dripping hole. Now
though, years later I tend to come to the sudden realization from time to
time that it was something of a suppressed instinct to create something of
stability around me, something of stability that I can put my feet up upon to
rest them and be known. Of course this makes perfect sense to me now, for I
was locked away and hidden from everything even the light of day until who
knows how old I may have been. Then as my first breaths of fresh air were
taken I was pushed from the only entity that I have ever known and left for
what I assume was dead in the midst of an utterly barren wasteland. This
would wreck havoc on any souls sensibility of self worth. And of course, this
led me down a strange road and mixture of knowledge and power and.. law. I
had no justice as