I'll say what I say and then I won't post any more about it.

Rant part:

First, I agree with the few others who haven't necessarily agreed with me, but also posted their discontent with Baerinika. My own dislike of her comes from in-game experience, post-game experience, and the complaints from just about everyone I know via IM. I try hard not to name names, list examples, or use anything more than broad generalizations because it would out a lot of people. I've known players (and former imms/heroimms) who won't play anymore because they hate the way she's interacted with them. Statements made saying, "You don't know anything about what goes on! You're the only one!" are false. I know more than most people give me credit for, but because of the generalizations, I can't prove it. Sorry. If that makes you dismiss me, fine. I don't mind being either the villain or the lone voice of dissent.

Secondly, there are some things that need to change and that would probably settle me down a bit. Currently, Baerinika is the only really viable imm available for goodie empowerment. Empowerment is already a really frustrating process, but when your option is basically just one person, it can turn people off to the whole process. No, I'm not bitter about not being able to play an empowerment class. I don't care about it, but I know people who do. Assuming that I'm correct in that she mistreats or griefs some people, perhaps it's because she's stretched thin as an imm. I don't know, but when I was in Fort, there were around 5 active paladins, I think, and all of them were Baer followers. I'm sure those weren't the only people seeking imm love. Obviously, there's nothing *I* can do about this, but whomever is about to Imm should be considered for adding to the pool of viable goodie empowerment/Maranation/Acolyting imms.

Lastly, Zakuun's death thread was the boiling point for me because she continually puts down people's RP, character arcs, whatever. There's some kind of goodie cookie-cutter mold she seems to want everyone to adhere to, so people just can't be interesting. Also, just everything she says, to me, seems negative. Some of her more recent comments:

Mirrou:
2011-07-27 08:27:39 Baerinika 51 365 Custom negative long cause yeah...I kinda hate you.

Zhincala:
2011-05-09 09:47:08 Baerinika 49 143 I hereby dub this guy "faceless scion conjie 5003."

Norrington:
2011-05-16 16:54:14 Rayihn 51 373 We sure piss all over Imperial law.



Apology part:

Without any qualifications or buts, I am sorry for attacking you, Baerinika. I was out of line in how I responded to your criticism of Zakuun. I still disagree with your post and a lot of things about you. Even though I'm the only person who saw your as snitty, I responded with bitchiness, I didn't address you by name, and I belittled you. I'm probably also being unfair with my view of you because there is a lot of negativity coming from other imms, but the most anger and frustration I get from talking with others (since I've tried to avoid any interaction with you for awhile now) is directed towards you. Nep actually comes in a close second. Before that gun is jumped, let me qualify this by the following statement: If it were just one, just two, even just five people I talk to regularly, I'd more easily dismiss the ramblings as venting. But literally every single person I've talked with in the last 6 months (excluding maybe one person) has had something negative to say about Baerinika/Rayihn specifically. So, as a reason why I jumped all over you, my view has been tainted from early interactions and secondhand vitriol has fueled my distaste. However, that doesn't make what I did right.

As a reason why I decided to apologize, the reason is Nep. I really want to dislike him too, and I know he's behind a lot of shady #### in the past (possibly in the present - harder to verify), but he just handles the situations more coolly than I can. This comment probably changed my mind more than anything:
"Good luck with that, seriously. It's a tough row to hoe at the best of times.

I don't think you actually see how she treats people either, FWIW."
He was actually being sweet in the midst of my nastiness and even tried one more time to convince me you're a good person. So, again, I'm sorry.

I'll just echo what my husband said and wish you all the best with your transition. I can't imagine how hard it is and I hope it helps to know there are people out there with an open mind who, while they can't truly understand what you're going through, support it and wish you all the rights and success you deserve.

>Mirrou:
>2011-07-27 08:27:39 Baerinika 51 365 Custom negative long
>cause yeah...I kinda hate you.
>
>Zhincala:
>2011-05-09 09:47:08 Baerinika 49 143 I hereby dub this guy
>"faceless scion conjie 5003."
>
>Norrington:
>2011-05-16 16:54:14 Rayihn 51 373 We sure piss all over
>Imperial law.

These are my favorite kinds of comments to read, for my own included. If nobody gave comments like this I'd probably never look at a pbf nor buy my own.

I don't know who you're talking to on IM, but for some reason there are a lot of people who play this game that just can't handle criticism. There are also a lot of grungy vets that think they know everything and expect that their assumptions will always hold. When they don't, they get angsty.

My feeling is, people just need to be less sensitive about criticism of their characters.

See I've begun not historying various characters if I see something unless it is hideously meh (like potentially breaking role) simply because while I realize that guys like you enjoy seeing little digs like this (and there are quite a few like you), I just don't have the energy to debate a guy like BMS or Murphy who take a negative comment like that way too seriously.

Also, I generally get more offended than is reasonable when I see a negative comment in my own char's history, so, you know, golden rule and all.

What was the history comment I made on one of your Scarab wannabes?

...if you're thinking about the one I am.

His name was Sivorolindo, arial or human thief, and you pseudo-interviewed him for Shadow, back in the day.

I gave up on Shadow and went Battle and had a lot of fun with unspeak dual backstabs, btw.

But in the end, your history on me was something like:

"Wants to join Shadow. Somewhat of a goof."

Ah, that's right, it was Shadow. Good times.

I know I get a few negative remarks with all my characters from my first hero up to whoever I happen to be playing now. I'm a prime example of someone who almost always has negative comments, cause well, I do some bad things and make some ultimately poor choices. Does that in any way shape my view of any imm who may have made it?
Absolutely not.
Hands down I played a terrible herald. A terrible goodie was my first hero. And at best an average paladin. But I can see those comments and get an idea of some things to go forward with when I play another char. (I didn't bother with premiums for the others- but I am sure a lot of them had some negative remarks too, deservedly so.)

I believe Imms are making the comments on what they observe. It's a snap shot in time. One remark does not mean that the whole Immstaff and playerbase have decreed your char to be ####. Hell, the Imm who makes it can still like your char, and that even might be more the cause. If Imms know the player, they know what they are capable of doing, and they really want to see it from them. Yes, it would be tough to take Tavlin with Zakuun's build, but if anything he knows what others can do to fight him. The player I think undersold his own abilities and what just his presence might have done for his allies. If I was there, and Zakuun said no, I'm not going, that's pretty demoralizing for me, especially since I know he's far more skilled than I am. If he says we can't do anything, why I am going to try.

Sometimes being a leader isn't about being 200-10 in PK. And I know he was not Captain/Marshall, but this guy is quite skilled, and vet players like that almost become defacto leaders because newer players see them and look up to them and want their advice. And when he is around, the less experienced players feel a bit stronger, bolder, whatever. Cause they have this tough SOB on their side. I was in Empire at the time and Zakuun scared me more than anyone in fort, hands down. Maravon could one round flurry me, and I still would rather fight him than Zakuun.

I think for vets in a cabal, it's nice to post good PK numbers, but I think they should also make it about leading the people who go 10-100 so they learn how to go 50-50. Even if that means you lose a con point or two in the process because of their mistakes. Especially in Fort. I enjoy playing with some of the elite players, cause it just helps me learn. And they also get me through some things where afterwards I say WTF just happened and how did we not only survive, but kill everyone against us.

Anyway, just some thoughts. Got me to take my mind off work for a bit.

I take a negative comment too seriously?

Leave negative comments in my PBF all you want. Just let me play and enjoy the game, why do you feel the need to also ruin my immediate experience by giving me negative titles...

EDIT: was a longer rant, made more clear.

I can't remember if my semi-negative comment about Faeshu was in the PBF or just on the forums but the way you were/are completely unable to take any sort of criticism as constructive made me wish I'd never have commented at all.

I re-read that thread.

It's not like I can't take criticism, but the way you portrayed me was sorta... the opposite of what I knew about my character, and I was like "WTF?". And I wasn't even going crazy over it or something, I merely disagreed.

And it's not criticism that turns me off. Point out my flaws all you want but fact is, there still are players with worse attitudes and much less dedication and they somehow get promoted-titled-rewarded over me. And they don't even stick it out for 300+ hours.

I think it's like this, but I could be totally wrong:

Negative statements taken personally as you the player
getting dissed instead of your character getting dissed.
I've played some guys that if they got dissed I'd feel like
I scored bonus points because they were meant to be kind
of a ####. Some though were so close to my own personality
that if they got dissed I'd be like Hey that was just hurtful!
I should play more evil I'd have taken the statements like
murphy got and ran with it like you wouldn't believe. Like
cowering or cringing anytime anyone in range showed up, then
maybe a single hit and run like a mad man for cover.
If called lazy become lazier, if called psychotic become
MORE psycho, stuff like that. Go so far that years later when
someone means to use the word or phrase that described you they
just say your characters name instead and everyone knows except
the newbie who asks So what do you mean he is so Flathielly?
Okay maybe I'm too much 'supporting cast' for that, but hey
a man can dream right? *rofl*

Just off the top of my head, without logging in, you could also follow Marcatis and Padwei if you want to be strictly good.

Zulghinlour, by his own word, will empower a paladin too given a good reason to follow him (I have roles in store for him but can't bring myself to play them and take away his time from admin). Plus, I suck, and our game's head honcho doesn't deserve a ####ty paladin running around chanting his name heh.

Trabryn or whatever his name is could be a good one too. Iunna has been followed by paladins. Twist too I think?

I don't think we need more "cookie cutter" goodie imms. However, I miss the #### out of Corrlaan and haven't played a paladin since he went dormant.

Personaly, I don't like the Baer religion, but its taste. I have plenty of other options though.

To add: I always hear Marcatis is cool as hell to follow, and my one empowerment speech with him was pretty damn fun. Even if I did have to give up the character

n/t

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I think it's fair to say that human nature is to talk, gossip and in some instances find faults in others. You see it in reality and unfortunately this "virtual environment" isn't secluded enough to avoid similar implications.

The Immortal staff does a great job of policing it's own and at a more granular level, Baer is a tremendous asset to this game. I personally have had nothing but great experiences with her tenure as a CF Administrator (she's constantly looking for quest opportunities for us to take on as a team).

While the apology and acknowledgement of wrong-doing is admirable, it will hold no merit without consistency.

Be thankful many of us have matured to the point that we don't obliterate you with online insults and retorts that completely dismiss you as a human being. That used to happen quite frequently in the past (I was quite fond of my abilities to do so).

Also - Sphere's don't have to be alignment based (and in fact weren't designed in that manner).

A few players not liking how an admin treats them in game.

The matter is highly subjective and there's no constructive solution for the players beyond just trying to adapt, so there's no point in such discussion.

EDIT: Or you want to discuss how Raybaer got immed and what part her IRL relationships played in that? I'm not touching that with a 6-foot pole, thank you.

Given it looked like people (including Imms & assorted recent HeroImms) were continuing the discussion, I was merely stating it should be done here, and not on Zakuun's death thread. Twist agreed and locked the thread. That's all I was really throwing it out there for.

I don't see that it has to be done anywhere. As far as I can tell she's quite good for the game and I hate seeing imms discouraged by jackasses with axes to grind. Looks to me like the people who dislike her are the same losers who got their panties all bunched over various things Valg said. Call me a jerk, but I like it when the staff sticks it to people for bad RP and bad overall behavior. Some of our players get so butthurt that there are people who have power of them and weep impotent tears if anyone on the staff dares speak to them with anything but utmost deference and respect. The sickly melange of self-entitlement and insecurity that these forum warriors spew would be laughable were it less contemptible.

Frankly this thread is going nowhere fast either and I feel a little dirty for even posting in it.

(this wasn't aimed at you, Straklaw)

n/t