TLDR: Last character for a while

After Larishae, I was feeling a bit burnt on the game, so I decided to do something kind of silly to take a break from the cabal wars dynamic, which was at a very no fun state of bandwagoning and hopeless oppression.

I had very little in way of goals with this character. It was just to try to put a fun spin on something that was dragging the game down for me, namely griefer alt characters. The Order of the Blue Ferret was an obviously ridiculous way to at least attempt to make something about that fun. And while I didn't manage to kill many of them, I did manage to at least make them stop logging in during my playtimes. So I will consider that a win.

Anyway, aside from that I just wanted to be friendly and help people. I ended up mentoring a new player, which was a mixed blessing because they were a really great roleplayer, but also decided not to continue in the game because of the toxic Discord community and the general "silent PK" focus of the majority of the players. It was a bit of a moment of reflection for me.

I have been preaching the "be the change you wish to see" mentality for the past two years. But I think it's time I recognize that the change I wish to see is not anything you guys are actually interested in. The game is what it is because that's what you want it to be, and it's kind of disrespectful of me to expect otherwise after the number of years many of you have played it. So the question then for me is, do I really have a place within that I will find enjoyable?

So I have decided to step away from it to see if it's something I continue missing even after the routine of playing is no longer a driving force in my motivation. It's also possible there are other options out there that would better fit the reasons I play, I genuinely do not know.

Favorite characters that interacted with Shalendra: Raveghna, Trystien, Prossyn, Wyrlian, Ahbicruz, Neshamar

It absolutely makes sense to not play when it's not fun. Recharge your batteries and remember that there's plenty of people who do make an effort to make the game enjoyable. They typically happen to stand out less.

Return when it feels right and play in your terms. Glwyn.

I purposely didn't hunt that character you said was new on Rakathi because I didn't feel the need to run off a new character. So fwiw, you kept him safe from me after the one time I attacked him at least.

Helper characters are always fun.


How dare you not mention me in your favorite chars to interact with. I was always coming at you with spooky foreboding evil RP

Rakathi would have absolutely been one of my favorites had we gotten to interact more. I was thoroughly impressed with you the one time we got to spend much time together, and that wasn't even a situation that was ideal for much meaningful interaction. Sadly, I don't think our hours lined up too well and then you deleted.

Thank you for helping to shield the newbie for getting stomped on too badly.

Didn't interact with Shalendra so no comment there, but I feel like the rest of your post deserves a response.

There is definitely some toxicity. Always has been, always will be. Whether it's excessive is subjective; I happen to think it's not. Also, if one doesn't like the Discord toxicity then one can always limit one's use of Discord. Either opt out entirely, only use read channels, etc. Or just ignore all the public channels and chat in DMs with people who aren't toxic. All that to say: there are ways to limit one's exposure to the OOC stuff one doesn't like.

With respect to in-game PK dynamics, I'd make two observations:

First, it's always been the case that CF has had players who play the game in different ways. Some are all about body count; some want to hang out in the Inn; some want to do PvE stuff. So I'm not sure it's accurate to characterize the entire player base as being in the "just about body count" category. Neshamarr is a great example. Was clearly a menace in terms of PK, but was also one of your favorite characters to have interacted with.

The second thing I'd note is that for someone to kill you and not chat with you afterwards doesn't necessarily imply that person is a no-role-play murderbot. They may just reserve their chatting for the set of characters they're not actively trying to kill.

In any case, I think you were/are great for the game and hope you reconsider and decide to stick around (or, failing that, that you eventually come back after a break).

Thank you for the thoughtful response, and I agree with everything you say here. I didn't want to write a novel, so my thoughts were highly summarized. I think that what it really boils down to is, I have always wanted CF to be an RP-focused game that also has PvP, and that's just not what the game is. It's what it could be, the platform is very flexible. But the remnant of the playerbase that has remained has done so for reasons that I just don't really get that into. It doesn't make them wrong, it makes ME wrong for expecting something else and getting frustrated when I can't find it.

In other words, this is not a critique of the game in any way, it's just a realization that my engagement with it might be a bad fit.

I'm not a high energy PvP player. I have tried to be at times, feeling like maybe if I was better at it I'd enjoy it more. And that might even be true. But it's quite a mountain to climb for something I am already kinda "meh" about in the first place. So reading discussions about how to make the game even MORE focused on always fighting just kind of makes me realize that I don't play the game for reasons that most of the players could relate to.

If I wanted a fast-paced PvP game, I have many options with awesome graphics and whole teams dedicated to game balance and experience. To me, the beauty of a text-based game is the ability explore characters, storytelling, and world-building in a way you simply cannot get anywhere else. Entwine flurry is pretty boring, to me.

My characters have always been very well received (in the past 2 years, I won't get into old days). I just end up feeling like I am forcing myself to engage with parts of the game that don't really spark much joy, while I search for the parts that do.

As for the Discord thing, I typically do not find it super toxic, especially for an online group dedicated to a competitive game and especially not compared to the old Dioxide's forums. I was just relating why that player left. And it was after a particularly bad couple of days. The Discord server is a great place for new players to ask questions and learn things in this very complicated game. I was doing my best to teach him in-game, but there's just a LOT. But unfortunately, that also comes with the less constructive side which ended up being too much.

Anyway, thanks again for taking the time to respond here.

I totally agree that entwine flurry is suuuper boring. Which is why I often spend my time on odd builds that can defeat the power-builds. A ranger with entangle is a solid foil against flurry; can't flurry if no moves.

If there are certain meta-builds that you find yourself disliking, consider leaning into something that either foils or kills them. I think that is more fun than mass murder; I love to pk the players who think they're something special because they fragged 35 guys in fine leather. Or, that they log out, which many seem to do these days when the going gets tough and they can't pretend to be top dog.

I will miss your chars and you until the next time (hopeful). Cheers.