It would be great to have you back, but real life takes precedence. It was great to see you, and hope you are doing well.

Odd how such a simple question can have a really convuluted answer. I don't know, is the best answer I can give you. I've popped on CF (admittedly not with the big guy) once or twice every now and then to 'refeel' the game out and see what I think about it...but before I can really get anywhere real life kicks in...and I'm either busy as all hell or dealing with some grown up issue or another (I moved 5 times last year...yippie.) I still occasionally think up ideas for CF, and occasionally get huge inspirations to login and do something big...but inevitably I start balancing out the wants with the realities of where I'm at currently in career life...and CF comes out on the bottom.

That being said, I did have an experience I thought I'd pass along to the CF community and this seems like a decent as any place to do it. Recently our exec chef was let go, and while we all kinda know the deal, nothing has been confirmed or officially announced (hell, it hasn't even been officially said that he's gone)...and as the rumor mill cranked up, I found myself thinking 'why don't they just come out and tell us he's gone, and why he was forced to resign'. Almost immedeately I thought of CF and the days of imms being removed and the player base loudly demanding explinations and official reasons. The similiarity struck me with a bit of humor...but it also helped me understand our management staff,(having been on the imm side of the thing far too often)...I guess mainly I just wanted to remind folks that even in real life there are times when the governing body of whatever doesn't explain what's going on...even when huge changes are caused by it. It's not overly relevant to what I've seen of modern CF, but just like me, it was an antiquated thought. Something that I had sorta been looking for to explain things to the playerbase many many years ago...and it just hit me, so there it is, do with it what you will.

As to my return? I think Robert Smith said it best: "...but maybe someday, yeah maybe someday"

Tell us you won't be back and cut ties.

You've been maybe coming back for years now, and
then you always magically find something else to
fill your time up with(eve, RL, etc).

I mean, granted it was a piece of ####, but one
of our players actually sent you a free computer
so you could start playing CF again, and you went
out and started playing some other game with it.

We hear all kinds of stories on this side of the
board about a frustrated and powerless shokai who
is fed up with the way things are going, so just
get over it already(#### or get off the pot) and
quit with these "keeping hope alive" posts.

Either play, or don't.

I don't mean to sound as harsh as I do, but it gets
frustrating hearing you might or might not be back.

Make a decision already, and let the rest of us know
what it is.

Derexal:

1) A complete #### to everyone on those other boards.(basks in the childish adolation he garners for it)

2) One of the major #Dangeroom idlers who often work together to develop strategies not exactly kosher with CF's policies.

3) A person who claims not to play CF any more because the players have all gone to ####.(Yet is present and thus achieving complicity when point #2 is going on)

4) Someone who seems bereft of any form of maturity when it comes to being told to stop playing the fool.

This is the person who is judging someone else? A true non-entity with respect to anything worthwhile to the CF community is judging others?

Hmm. Hey Derexal, #### or get off the pot pal, aka start playing, contributing etc. Or stfu m'kay?

***1) A complete #### to everyone on those other boards.(basks in the childish adolation he garners for it)***

I don't bask in anything, most of our playerbase is just stupid.

***2) One of the major #Dangeroom idlers who often work together to develop strategies not exactly kosher with CF's policies***

Completely false, if anything I'm one of the few who ban for rules violations. It doesn't surprise me though that you know absolutely
nothing about it.

***3) A person who claims not to play CF any more because the players have all gone to ####.(Yet is present and thus achieving complicity when point #2 is going on)***

You're right, I don't play, but that doesn't mean I don't care what
happens here.

***4) Someone who seems bereft of any form of maturity when it comes to being told to stop playing the fool.***

More like someone who doesn't give a #### what you think. You
likely fit into my answer for point #1.

You'll have to pardon me if I do actually care whether or not
shokai comes back. Hope is a ####er.

You'll also have to pardon me if I do give a #### what happens
to or on CF.

***Hmm. Hey Derexal, #### or get off the pot pal, aka start playing, contributing etc. Or stfu m'kay?***

How do you know I'm not? Because I said I wasn't playing? Wouldn't
be the first time I've lied to the CF playerbase.

Next time you want to try to flame me, sack up a little and don't try
to do it anonymously. At least I gave shokai the decency of knowing
who *I* was, and how *I* felt. Its been way too long to listen to
the same crap over and over. Even the most time strapped individual
can find time to make things happen on CF.

......looking for more of the adolation you so require.

Don't care what I think? Really? Then why the blatant attempt
to discredit via your so called "crap"?

Oh, so you lie? Great. So I am supposed to believe anything
you post or say now?

Such as you monitor the #dangeroom? Which is BS since I have
been there a fair bit over the years and seen you in action.

You jumped yet another thread with banal asinine comments about
a person whom you have no idea what is going on with. You hoped
for some strokes, which your sycophants on that other board
eagerly provide, and got none.

You got called out and brought nothing to the table but a hasty
ad hominem attack.

Your comment on listening to the same crap reflects your blind
spot to the fact that everyone puts up with yours.

Good day.

***......looking for more of the adolation you so require.***

Absolutely homey, is that what you want to hear?

***Don't care what I think? Really? Then why the blatant attempt
to discredit via your so called "crap"?***

Man, I haven't given a #### what anyone thinks since day one. Most
people who post on these forums don't.

***Oh, so you lie? Great. So I am supposed to believe anything
you post or say now?***

Everyone lies dude, I'm not anyone special. You are welcome to
believe or not, anything that you read that I post.

***Such as you monitor the #dangeroom? Which is BS since I have
been there a fair bit over the years and seen you in action.***

You don't even frequent dangeroom to know. If you do, then maybe
a name to add a little credibility?

***You jumped yet another thread with banal asinine comments about
a person whom you have no idea what is going on with.***

Yet I've said all this #### in the past in many different forums
(ICQ, MSN, IRC) and I've said them to direct contacts of shokai
and even asked them to pass the message along in hopes of getting
some sort of answer. This just happens to be the first time I've
posted them to the forums.

I know this is hard to believe, but there are plenty of people
related to carrion fields that talk about shokai, and there are
also many people in CF that know shokai in person. Its not hard
to fathom that somewhere along the lines I got an idea of what
was going on with him.

***You hoped for some strokes, which your sycophants on that other board eagerly provide, and got none.***

Wha? I get attacked over there just as much as I do here. You
think thats going to change the way I am?

***You got called out and brought nothing to the table but a hasty
ad hominem attack.***

Called out by who? You? From what I can see you're a nobody. At
least I am willing to be held accountable for the things I say.

***Your comment on listening to the same crap reflects your blind
spot to the fact that everyone puts up with yours.***

They don't have to. Nobody is forced to read my posts.

***Good day.***

Go #### yourself.

<3

Oh, this is no text? No. I guess you did not have to read my post, now did you?

You see, when people are reknown for attacks on others their posts are addressed in a timely manner to maintain some semblence of truth. Hence Shok's need to deal with your personal attacks. This does beg the question why would he be eager to come back to deal with immaturity like yours?

Truth apparently is so far distant from you that if it were
to bite you on the arse you would think someone was making a pass at you.

You are all about you. Always have been, and from all I have seen always will be.

Your posts are not only irrelevant over 90% of the time they are spite filled nonsense that requires a pair of hip-waders to navigate successfully without becoming befouled.

And of course since you can not truly defend your position you rant, ramble and attack the person behind a post. You sir are a coward, a self proclaimed liar, and worse a man with an e-penis so large it casts a pall over whichever forums you frequent.

Perhaps you have all the time in the world to sit and rotate in the #dangeroom and CF fora but to be so ignorant that others must adhere to your view is pathetic. Do the game a favor and let normal interactions in all venues go on without your spiteful self-serving befoulment.

Good evening.

***You see, when people are reknown for attacks on others their
posts are addressed in a timely manner to maintain some semblence
of truth. Hence Shok's need to deal with your personal attacks. This does beg the question why would he be eager to come back to deal with immaturity like yours?***

Uh, okay?

***Truth apparently is so far distant from you that if it were
to bite you on the arse you would think someone was making a pass at you.***

Heh. Uh, okay?

***You are all about you. Always have been, and from all I have seen
always will be.***

Indeed, have I ever claimed differently?

***Your posts are not only irrelevant over 90% of the time they are
spite filled nonsense that requires a pair of hip-waders to navigate
successfully without becoming befouled.***

Spite filled? Always. 90% irrelevant? Never.

***And of course since you can not truly defend your position you
rant, ramble and attack the person behind a post.***

You're a tool. Guilty.

***You sir are a coward***

My Forum Handle, and IRC Handle is Derexal. What's yours?
Nuff said.

***a self proclaimed liar, and worse a man with an e-penis so
large it casts a pall over whichever forums you frequent.***

Yeah Yeah, like I said, everyone lies(even you homey). Nothing
new in what you've said yet. I do have a large epeen, though.
If you've been in IRC(which you haven't) you've seen it.

***Perhaps you have all the time in the world to sit and rotate
in the #dangeroom and CF fora but to be so ignorant that others
must adhere to your view is pathetic. Do the game a favor and let
normal interactions in all venues go on without your spiteful self
serving befoulment.***

Then I wouldn't be doing my part to contribute.
You know I gotta contribute.

***Good evening.***

Like I said before, go #### yourself. You've done well to
demonstrate that you don't know a thing about me.

If you want anymore responses, post with a recognized handle
so I know who I am dealing with. Seriously, you scared to
do it or something? Is this you being the coward or what?

<3

And break the ties he doesn't want to break. It's easier for him to return if he so chooses if he doesn't break the ties. Meanwhile, the rest of us can consider him a pretty much goner. Maybe he returns, maybe he doesn't. We can just wait and see and not count on him in anything CF-related meanwhile. People go by fading in games like this, not in a bang. Shokai has faded pretty much, but let him have his maybe. I think we all know by now that we shouldn't count on him.

I have considered him dead for a long time.

I guess I just want him to come back.

I'm really not sure when I pissed in your cheerios chief, but I apologize. As for the computer thing? Nice way of making me sound like a complete tool. I didn't ask for it, it was given freely to me, and I appreciated the gift and the thought behind it. Shortly after I went out and bought a pc...about then, yeah...y'know what? I did start playing another game. *Gasp* How horrible that I didn't slave myself to a game that at the time was waning in interest for me.

As for my answers of "maybe" when someone asks if I'm coming back...that's exactly what it is. MAYBE. If anyone wants to build high hopes on a shakey foundation...be my guest, but in my book when someone says 'maybe'...you don't count on that as a yes or a no. It's exactly what it is, it's a maybe. As for making a decision in stone, why? Does it physically pain you or in some way harm the game if I leave myself open to one day return to something I helped build? Additionally, it's not like I keep popping up and saying 'hey guys...I might be back this week'...only to not show up, then a few months later show back up and say 'hey! maybe this week'. It's not my intent to 'string anyone along', but when someone asks me a question (oh lookie! someone did ask me when I was going to be back, didn't they?) if I don't have a hardline answer to give them, they get the maybe.

Oh yes, one more thing to address...the rumors of my disgruntlement and all the other things I'm sure everyone has heard, there was some truth in that. However, I was active through a lot of periods where I was highly disgruntled with some of the things that go on in immland...that's just my nature, and it's part of the group dynamic of a volunteer staff on a creative outlet. Is it the reason I haven't played in forever? Nope. I'm sure there were a few days here or there that I didn't log in because of it, but had it been pure disgruntlement I would've posted a goodbye thread, said what I needed to say, and then been gone.

Once again, to anyone that I have somehow disappointed or harmed or feels I've kicked their puppy by not being around, not committing to staying away or coming back, or for doing my own thing with what free time I have, I'm horribly sorry you feel that way...and hope that when you chose to do things your way at some point in your life, it's recieved better than my actions are recieved by you.

Thank you all, and good night.

>...I leave myself open to one day
>return to something I helped build?

I for one would welcome that day if it ever arrives, and if not you know that I enjoyed the time and conversations spent with you, and appreciate what you contributed to this game.

It's your life my friend, do with it what you will.

So long, and thanks for all the fish!

You roxxor.

Kastellyn the Devourer of Magic, Lord of Legends

*** Email me your testimonials or two-line blurbs. Help our marketing efforts! ***

and I'd love to have you back anytime you get the chance. I don't mind seeing you for just a day honestly, because I "KNOW" what you did for this game. Thanks man, don't sweat the haters.

Aaron

...that I got hooked on this game, you bastard!

You just kicked way too much ass as an Imm, pure and simple, and people want you around all the time so they can get their Shok'-Fix. I understand with the real life stuff...totally understand.

You were the first Imm to tattoo and empower any of my characters, and went way above and beyond from anything anyone ('cept Beroxxus) has done since. It's no wonder people want you back!


Btw, I'm by no means a Shokai Stalker (just forget what I wrote above ), but how is the restaurant stuff going?

n/t

That maybe some of us(me) want you to come back.

Hearing the "maybe" every couple of months is just
getting hopes up, and then having them squashed again.

Your life is to do with whatever you want, I just hate
hearing(granted, from secondary sources close to you)
that you are going to do something, and then you don't.

Thats my bad, and yeah, I am being selfish. Know what
though? I don't feel bad for wanting the true maran
god back in full form. I just hope it happens one day.

I'd rather hear that you are done/gone/whatever then
the cycle we're in now of having a little life restored
every couple of months, only to be let down again.

Durnominator is right, and I'll just go along with what
he said. Like I said, I came off a lot more harsh than
I wanted to. I've never been known for being polite though.

<3