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Top Non-CF Discussion "What Does RL Stand For?" Topic #904
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StunnaTue 09-Jan-07 10:10 AM
Member since 04th Mar 2003
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#904, "I send these emails out to my students"


          

They are like, little TonyRobbinsesque tidbits that are from my own experience designed to give ideas and motivation to Tae Kwon Do students. I figured I'd cut and past todays in here, and if people don't rip it to shreds maybe I'll put more up in here as I write them.

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Rest vs. Results

I was talking with a parent yesterday in the midst of the hustle and the bustle of changing classes. She was doing the right thing, and letting me know that her son, a four year old boy whose been attending class hear for about six months, was starting to become a struggle to get to class. This is not unusual, and it’s always one of the obstacles to the success of any person in our program.

It reminded me of me. It was not long ago that I was sitting with one of my mentors, Keith Hafner, and talking about how overwhelmed I felt. “I get to my school at 8am, and I’m there often until 10pm every day plus Saturday,” I was lamenting as we sat in the basement of his Ann Arbor home. “I never see my wife and friends, I’m tired all the time, and even the dog doesn’t recognize me when I come home. I need a break! How can I arrange things at my school so that I can take more time off, sir?”

Mr. Hafner looked down at that, and you could almost visibly see the gears in his head turning. I waited patiently, expecting to hear about staff training or volunteers or something… something that would free up more of my time and let me get the rest I needed. But Mr. Hafner’s response was not what I anticipated. “Dan,” he said “do you think it’s rest you need, or results?”

Well that stopped me in my tracks, and though my reflex response was that the results weren’t the problem (after all, our results were great) as I reflected on that over the course of the next few days, I began to realize he was right. Though the results of my work were good to outside eyes, within myself I felt like for all my hard work I should be accomplishing more. Mr. Hafner was right, had I been getting the results I felt were on par with my efforts, I’d be energized and motivated and ready to tenaciously pursue more results.

Can you think of a time when you just felt like you needed a break, but what you really needed was a healthy dose of success? Can you think of a time when you worked insanely hard, but were able to move mountains because your results were so great?

Taekwondo students function the same way. I know my little four year old friend hasn’t earned a stripe in about two months, and he’s been coming to class religiously. That’s a lot of work that he feels like he’s putting in, but where are his results? Of course he doesn’t want to come to class if he feels like he’s not accomplishing anything. But what do we do? Stop trying? That is not the Tae Kwon Do way. We keep pushing on in our efforts, and what happens? We DO get results, they are inevitable. Then when we get those results, it’s smooth sailing. We are motivated, excited, and anxious to get more results. It’s a terrific life lesson.

Now I don’t like to be negative, but what happens when we give up? We condition ourselves to believe that we lack energy, we lack motivation, that no matter how hard we try we’re doomed to our lot in life. Let’s not let this be us in 2007. Become a results oriented person, and you’ll be amazed at what you (or your child) can achieve!

- Mr. Vigil

P.S I wrote this when I got up this morning. Please forgive any sleepy grammatical error.

P.S.S My little four year old buddy got a green stripe yesterday, and left smiling and excited. Let’s see if that doesn’t do the trick for his motivation!

  

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TacTue 09-Jan-07 10:58 AM
Member since 15th Nov 2005
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#905, "Very nice."
In response to Reply #0


          

I liked this alot. Its a great way to throw new light on a situation. Did your four year old buddy earn that stripe? Are unearned results just the same? I think I have that problem... I don't work very hard, but have enjoyed no small amount of success in my life. It feels like some things aren't earned, so the reward isn't as sweat as if I had really worked hard for it. It is a matter of perspective? Like something was easy for me/required little work because I had already put in the work elsewhere? I don't know, but some random musings for this morning.

  

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StunnaTue 09-Jan-07 11:11 AM
Member since 04th Mar 2003
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#906, "RE: Very nice."
In response to Reply #1


          

>I liked this alot. Its a great way to throw new light on a
>situation. Did your four year old buddy earn that stripe?

He sure did!

>Are unearned results just the same?

No, but I've always found this to be perception based. If someone feels like they've earned something they respond differently than if they feel like it was handed to them. As a martial arts teacher I often put this knowledge to use.

In the case of my little buddy his green stripe was for learning two sparring techniques. Now are the sparring techniques really what I'm trying to teach this boy? No way, I'm teaching him about perserverance, discipline and self confidence. Those lessons are going to stick with him for the rest of life, and honestly it will be a lot more useful to him than his little sparring technique. So it becomes a question of what result you are after - if my little buddy were to work VERY hard but not get the sparring technique right, that's okay as long as he's learned the discipline, perserverance and earned the self confidence. Interestingly enough, the more of those things I give him over the next few years, the better he'll be able to learn the sparring techniques.

I think I have that
>problem... I don't work very hard, but have enjoyed no small
>amount of success in my life. It feels like some things
>aren't earned, so the reward isn't as sweat as if I had really
>worked hard for it. It is a matter of perspective? Like
>something was easy for me/required little work because I had
>already put in the work elsewhere?

This is something that I hear a lot, actually. It is absolutely perspective based. To outside eyes only have you had success, because success comes from some amount of effort earning some amount of positive result. Internally you know that the effort:success ratio was off, and therefore you haven't actually had any real success.

Here's the remedy: You aren't done yet. Sometimes life gives you "gimmees" that are edges for you to accomplish more. I think you'll find that if you didn't work very hard for something, earned it, and then continued to work hard for more you'd reach a point where you HAD to work hard. Once you reached that point and achieved success it would change how you felt about your initial (less hard-earned) accomplishment.

This gives you two great things 1) success over and above what you would ever have had w/o the hard work and 2) the ability to enjoy the success you had without hard work.

  

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