Sat May 21 14:23:57 2022

At 5 o'clock AM, Day of the Bull, 22nd of the Month of Futility
on the Theran calendar Dichael perished, never to return.

asd

Hey, just wanted to say that I totally didn't get the outburst vibe from you and I thought you were extremely chill -- for what few interactions we had. Thankfully, I don't know who plays which character, so I can't comment on the grudges that players bear to each other. But thought I'd let you know that you did well.

It is because it is blown out of proportion to justify the nonsense that happened after.

I don't want forum drama or anything of the sort. This situation is incredibly stupid and should have never happened. If all the players just scroll down to under the stars It would be great. If the imms want to delete part of this then the Asterisks up.

I want to be constructive as possible with this and this first part is about handling "rule breaking".

Did I go OOC? Yes. Was it a constant habit that spanned 300 hours that was a constant disruption to the game? No. It was something that happened after 300 hours of having almost no issues (I broke RP once after hitting a goodie with an illuminate thinking it was Ceva. I had the word #### typed and entered instantly)

Was it egregious? No once again. It was one blatantly OOC tell and a mild meltdown over something that pisses me off beyond anything else as I was trying to log off to deal with something IRL that also angered me. (Admittedly I was more pissed about what was happening outside of the game) Now is any of this the right way to deal with this? No, but I can be pretty confident that both imms and players alike have had days when this has happened. Where they lost their temper and weren't perfectly IC.


Meanwhile outside of this I was avoiding playing to calm myself down and let the annoyance pass. Basically just letting it go so that it would stop happening as it was obviously just frustration seeping through. I logged in and attempted a quick fight while rping with someone. Died which is fine. I was expecting a griefer to grief and lo and behold they did. My reaction? Completely IC and calm. I was over it by that point. I logged off to try and make sure I was properly calm.

I log on the next morning to try and unghost for the event later that day and wake in the RoTD. Confused wondering what it could be. My thoughts being maybe it is because of losing link due to poor internet a lot? Maybe it was the OOC tell and two psuedo OOC tells? I can't think of a reason why that would warrant an offline RoTD. Fine whatever. It's annoying but not a big deal. I wait about half an hour with a few questioning prayers. I log off.

I get on during a more active time and attempt again. Still getting no answer. Spending another hour with increasingly annoyed prayers.

civilized 673/673 915/915 984/984 21600tnl (-30.91%) (10 AM) full
You pray to the heavens for help!
You pray 'I must of done something incredibly horrible. So unspeakably terrible that it warranted being put in RoTD while offline and not being told why.'

I believe this was the worst of it.

So I dmed Ishuli they said they had no idea and it's normal to attempt to get people out of RoTD quick as possible. Alright I'm calmer now. So I wait a bit longer then use the anon to ask the discord imm channel why I'm stuck here. Instantly hostile. Alright back to being angry. Insert hyper rushed both parties annoyed short conversation before being removed from RoTD. Delete try to ask why the heavy handed action. Now I did complain about the imm's ego getting in the way of making the right decision. Told this isn't the proper venue. Ask why it isn't since it is part of why the delete happened.

My answer? #### you (not a figurative #### you a Literal #### you) from Umiron plus an attempt to humiliate me by posting an apology I wrote to them. Which all it proved was that I am human and capable of making mistakes and that I have the intestinal fortitude to apologize when I overreact to a situation while making said mistake. Plus a ban from discord. Which assists the ego point.

Considering how funnyone was acting for nearly 300 hours plus as a cabal leader. Was the heavy handed approach of RoTD while offline and trapping me there required? Did the hostile attitude to my confusion benefit the situation?

Considering the Imm involved stated that they were mostly unaware of the situation, the character involved, and what was causing the issue. It comes to me as someone saw a mild OOC issue, decided it required instant punishment, and RoTD so they can make sure they can be talked to immediately. Except it was offline so the issue became a festering problem. This made the situation worse by adding frustration that wasn't required.

Now did this cause me to delete? No I was deleting because I have personal issues to deal with. Was I going to delete in that moment? No. Probably would of lasted another 50 hours tops to get everything I wanted in order. At several points in this process if the imms chose anything other than the worst way to deal with the problem. This wouldn't of happened. Now are the imms solely to blame? No, but that doesn't make this the correct response or even remotely appropriate.

The question becomes did this situation make the game better? Did the handling create a more immersive experience for the playerbase? Is this way of handle the situation good for retention?

The only arguments against this is were you actually punished? No as it didn't warrant a punishment, Are you banned from CF? No as it didn't warrant a ban. Are you banned from discord? Yes, but it didn't warrant a ban from discord. There should of been some step inbetween offline RoTD that would of fixed this issue without any of this happening.

Any players that read this. Shame on you.

**********************************************************************

This was my second longest lived character, my first ever redemption character, and by far the weakest shaman I've ever had by a large margin.

That being said I had zero intention of any of those happening. I rolled this character up to test antihero and play around with hell's pact and possibly more. What ended up happening was following the RP into a redemption arc which once I figured out that would happen I focused all my trains on con. Roughly at hero I ended up with 200-400 hp less than my average shaman. Almost zero stat coverage else I'd be sub 700 hp.

Revelations: I'm glad oracle got fixed, but it also procs off lowbie tribunals for the track the wicked type echoes. Rather enjoyable to fight several magistrates to learn every few ticks that a level 27 trib is sitting at the executioner. Dire omens is a wash, seal fate is a wash, the damange illuminate is kinda nice. This path shines for those that stay still enough for oracle to be useful or work with groups. Both of which I don't tend to do. There are other affects, but none of which are useful to outlanders.

Venoms: Venoms as always is great, but underpowered shaman is underpowered. I needed more hp and stat coverage to make it work and considering all my enemies were near perfect counters was rough. Irony being I'd of killed for this on Dollerveim and on Dichael I'd of killed for Life's champ.

On this I'm thankful for both paths. I am not complaining about it. It is just what it is situationally.

Some goodbyes

Azorinne: Thank you for everything, the echoes and experience of going through the redemption arc was amazing. I know it may not seem like it to you but this was my second longest lived character. I worked hard to stick around and I am extremely grateful for the effort you put in. I just hope you don't feel like it was a waste.

Ishuli: I wanted to try and outtie Ishuli follower. I expected it to go worse than it did and I enjoyed both researching and writing that booklet. I'm sorry I didn't do the event but for reasons I couldn't keep the character going.

Joihe: Thanks for the random edge. Sorry that I never did that favor, but that little nudge helped immensely dealing with the struggles of no prayers.

Ergush: The task you gave me I kinda expected was you just saying hey I'm pretty sure you are going to delete sub 80 hours. Go pound sand. It is why I waited another 200 hours to come back and say maybe reconsider?

Players I'll respond as I can. There was so many people that were amazing to deal with. Also griefer no need to add any comments. I don't care. I do want to say this is the most fun I've ever had playing Cf. The problem is I don't have my temper under control enough for me to continue playing. I'll be back eventually just not anytime soon. I'll come back in another 9 months maybe or for October.

so if we're going to air this in the court of public opinion here, why don't you go ahead and tell us what you sent an apology to the imms about if you did nothing wrong.

beyond that, welcome to the banned from discord club.

I needed a way to get away from CF because it has a habit of making me unreasonably angry. I'm aware of this and went to therapy to control my temper better. So I made up a fake cheating situation (A real cheating situation, but I was not a part of it) where I was supposedly involved and was banned for it. I apologized for lying about it to get myself banned so I can be away from the game to work on myself. Could I have handled the situation better? Yea, but lying about it was the only way I could make sure I couldn't come back unless I really wanted to. If I just said ban me until I want to come back it would of been a lot easier to just come back.

this is the most autistic thing i've ever read

You just completely lack the ability to have a non negative conversation with just about anyone. I don't think you've ever said anything that wasn't you uniformly being an ass.

I've never even heard of you before, I'm basing what I said on what you posted. GL with getting help for your issues.

nt

to control your emotions better. no one wants to put up with outbursts. especially an immortal team that gets a lot of unwarranted outbursts from vitriolic morons.

rule to live by: "don't be that guy". and well, you were that guy pretty badly this time.

maybe if you're actually apologetic it could all be worked out, i dunno.

It goes both ways. I am aware and was taking steps to correct my issue. Throwing gas on a fire and wondering why it grew instead of lessened is a bit crazy. Basically don't escalate a situation needlessly. I'm more pissed about the spitefulness, petty ban, and the outing of a private conversation with malicious intentions.

Essentially in everyone of these situations it can be handled differently or better by both sides. Saying only one party is responsible for their actions is part of why so many players have been driven away. We can't really afford to drive players away by having the imms heavy handedly handling an issue that could of been dealt with with significantly less vitrol on their side. My side too by the way. I know it's a crazy concept but mutual respect should be the standard.

Comments about the top bit -
When you go OOC like you did, you can get ROTD'ed for it. It doesn't disappear just because you half-delete then reactivate, or just because it has been a day or two. When we see stuff like that, we tend to ROTD and talk to you about it.

When you are in the ROTD, we are not ALWAYS available. We try to be, but many of us have jobs and work and we *always* try to get to you as promptly as we can. You might end up sitting in there a bit, but if you are - my suggestion wouldn't be to stare at the screen frantically for hours.

AFK there, glance back every so often, or log out and log back in later to check if someone is available.

"The question becomes did this situation make the game better? Did the handling create a more immersive experience for the playerbase? Is this way of handle the situation good for retention? "

I think this is a question you can ask yourself about going OOC as well. One act started a chain, and had you simply followed through it normally instead of reacting how you did, I think it could have had a substantially more reasonable outcome.

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Character comments!

I liked Dichael, he was conflicted and fun. He was both research-intense focused, but at times distracted by things like camaraderie which Ishuli waves her hand dismissively at. We had lots of fun discussions I enjoyed quite a bit, particularly since at the start I didn't "get" your research. But once I snooped you and saw you examining spirits, talking with others, etc. - it clicked and I really liked it!

I'm sad Dichael ended the way he did, since I planned to tattoo you on Sunday and get your book published and all. I was excited for it!

I also had a few laughs at losing your title, or original preface, etc. it made me think of a scholar clumsily fumbling with papers shuffled up in the wrong order.

Swell times were had with Dichael.

I'm aware that the tattoo ect was happening during that event. Personal issues on top of in game frustration were coming to the point where the character was going to become a problem. I had planned to delete a week after that either way as it was becoming a bit much. I use CF to destress but it can't be the only source of me destressing. Sometimes the game makes people angry. Due to things outside of my control I can no longer run or lift weights for the forseeable future. Once that is fixed I think I can manage CF better.

nt

"Stop asking yourself easy questions so you can look like a genius." - Jo Bennett

Edited: This genius messed that one up.

It was a small poke at my forum persona. Just brought to an extreme.

I have to hand it to you, you made for an interesting redemption arc because you weren't about to let go of your character's personality or interests just because you also wanted to become good. That threw a lot of people off, me included at first, but there was a sincerity in our talks that just could not be denied. I hope it made for a fun experience.

Every single redemption arc was people completely changing who they were. Dichael was arrogant, a know it all, and curious to the very end. Though it always sucks when I put my worst traits into a character as people get upset.

PS #### you.

Prob don't cheat.