Thu Aug 9 08:06:26 2012

At 1 o'clock PM, Day of Freedom, 4th of the Month of the Grand Struggle
on the Theran calendar Qalita perished, never to return.

So this is the first caballed character (besides Herald) I've had in over 10 years. And even with Skeeta I mostly sat in the inn or followed people around and gabbed. I had a lot more accountability with this character, and I'm sure my ignorance had newbie written all over it.

Since I've become more active as an imm lately, I figured it would be a good idea to try at least one character in the cabal wars scene since I hadn't done so in so long, and since I had the time this summer to do so, I did.

Healers have long been one of my favorite and most-played classes, yet I hadn't played one since the align/shift revamp way back when (and I was involved with the redesign.) Yikes, this healer was hands-down my MOST killed healer EVER. I think my past healers (which had been Fortress, Servants of the Dawn, Herald) felt virtually indestructible - but my, has the game changed. I was assassinated. I was one-rounded by paladins who stripped me of all my supplications with one divine assault. I was plagued and tormented and killed by Xasivus and his #### flyto/insect crap. (Which made me ever feel like my own worst enemy, since *I'm* the one that made that guy Nightreaver!) I know not an obscene number of deaths compared to many characters, but for a healer, it felt like a huge amount of death was going on. Yikes! And the evil healer gig definitely has the feel of disadvantage that was designed - though being in Empire balanced that out quite a bit.

As others have mentioned on the Battlefield, I am amazed by how often my gear was left virtually untouched. My memories are of full loots (or close to it) being the norm - even if only to sac it all. I really think it's a positive change in CF culture as most of are adults who do not have time to mess around with full re-gears every time we die.

Being involved in cabal wars is so not my thing. I'll probably do it periodically (as I did this summer, when I enjoyed the benefit of some extra free time), but even then it felt like "What the heck. Seriously? Fortmonkeys are attacking? AGAIN? Didn't I already deal with this Codex crap ten minutes ago? I am SO done. I just want to sit here and wax poetic about my freaky role. Can't a gal do that in peace?!"

Regarding my freaky role - to those that knew it - it might make sense in the context that I read "Brave New World" a few months ago and wanted to RP a character that was trying to turn the Empire into an Aldous Huxley utopia/nightmare - thus, Qalita was born. Thanks to all the Imperials that played along, although I don't think in general Empire attracts the kind of players that want to get involved in high concept RP drama. And thanks to those that were gentle and informative with my ignorant/supremely outdated knowledge of game mechanics. I did try my best to keep up with you maniacs and heal you efficiently.

Thanks to Rayihn for playing along. She was the most challenging imm I've ever followed and the only imm I didn't earn a tattoo from while playing a religious character (my doing, not hers, as I knowingly played a particularly dysfunctional character that adopted her religion in a bizarre way.)

The school year is spinning up for my kiddos and with it, my free time is going out the window. I have the intention of remaining somewhat active with Amaranthe, but I can't do both Amaranthe and a mortal - especially a caballed mortal, so it was time for Qalita to go. It was fun while it lasted.

I'll save any specific goodbyes to respondents.

So you put me on the back burner to play a mort!!!



Don't think we interacted too much, but our times didn't mesh too
well. I did enjoy the time you, kurbrawn, Kengo, and relynar raided
the tree for the fetish, I am sure you remember it ended poorly.. And
all I could think was too bad no outlander Imms are on to
snoop a good defense...

Glad you got to play a mortal this summer.. I'm sure it's time for the girls
to return to their studies... Ahhhh.. Summer time

Yeah, from where I sit, Outlander (or Fortress) is not hurting severely at the hands of Empire lately, that's for damned sure.

I spent most of Qalita's life rationalizing what seemed like a perpetual Nexus friendship!

Well, there goes one of the more interesting characters I've seen lately. I'll say that I did like the concept, and you had very interesting RP along the way. I liked the entire angle of "Imperial Love", got a good laugh out of that the first time I heard it.

I will say that I had high hopes for the hybrid babies, we could use them right now in the Palace

Now get back to Asgaard where you belong!

Thanks for everything, Alannah. I have to say, I had a hard time with a lot of your leadership decisions, as often hours later I return to find myself alone with nothing more than my sorry little whip and and a twitchy 'gate/recall/teleport' trigger finger to deal with the fallout. If I ever had managed any power or leverage (or could have invested more time) I might have maneuvered to get behind a different Emperor as you were not furthering Qalita's vision for worldwide Unity.

And yes, the hybrid babies. I kept meaning to ask about your sperm collection but there was always too much going on. Did you get any? And Rayihn was challenging all my dreams of creating an Imperial Youth Manufacturing & Indoctrination Facility. Apparently she saw that as sterile and unloving. She's so unreasonable.

That would have involved killing anyone worthwhile. Which doesn't usually happen when you're outnumbered five to one most days

That's what I figured. It was fun giving someone else a "quest" as a mortal though. Ha!

Such a fun and awesome role, and I love how much we conflicted. Rayihn's heart broke every time she looked at you, she just wanted to hug you and make it alllll better. But of course we couldn't have had that, now could we?

I wanted to tattoo you, truly, and I would have if you'd been able to make any kind of breakthrough with love and healing, but again see above!

Hope you follow me again, maybe with something a little more reachable.
Heart!
Ray

Back at you! I can recall far more tattoos that I've had than heroes through the years - including dormant imms and a few funky concepts here and there - and you are the FIRST one to challenge me (well, unless you count Scarabaeus, but that challenge came post-tattoo.) I always enjoy RPing religious characters, and while my game has serious shortcomings, RPing well enough to get a tattoo has rarely been one of my challenges. It would have been very easy (and I don't think anyone would have questioned it) just to pop on a tattoo and say "Well, Qalita serves me in her own, unique way, as all my Chosen follow their own paths." But, Rayihn really came off as having her own character with having thoughts, limitations, feelings, and opinions - rather than as a Divine Archtype (which is how I pretty much have played my immortals over the years, in a rather formulaic fashion.) Rayihn felt more *human* than *god* - like you were trying to be my own personal Jesus and I just wanted to keep you as my Aphrodite.

If I had all the time in the world there were so many directions I would have liked to take Qalita in - most of them fun but time-consuming and messy. I'm pretty satisfied with the "off-screen" conclusion that leaves me believing somewhere, somehow, Qalita found healing (even if tragically.)

Rayihn's back story is that she was a human who ascended to godhood through ambition, cunning, magic, hard work, and charm. She's very intimate, cheeky, giving, and vain. But as you said, I think it's interesting that she has such limitations and feelings. Sphere love to her is all about feelings.

And yeah Ray definetly saw you, rolled up the sleeves and was like "OK let's fix this ####."

Loved the end story. So perfectly fitting and something that made me feel like I made a difference. I really appreciate that.

Gah! WHYYYYYY. You were great I loved every minute of it. Will say more when I delete.

Oh Rak, my Beloved! There's always that special connection you make with the characters you RP with during all those hours of leveling up and exploring, isn't there?

You were uniquely the one character I felt Qalita legitimately shaped, and I thank you for that. It's a gift - most of us super RPers are so hell-bent on a Vision to be influenced by another character easily, and most softer RPers are just bemfuddled when confronted with some crazy-weird RP, and it's always kind of fun to connect with someone that is in neither category - someone that plays along with you and allows themselves to be swept up RPwise because they are interested enough in RP to engage but not SO interested in RP as to have their own background, direction, and motives that don't necessarily play well with getting wrapped up in someone else's RP drama.

I understood why you paced yourself leveling, though I was sad that we didn't get to play much end-game together. I really entertained the idea of sticking around longer but I identified that familiar feeling, that "Crap. Why did I log on? What if I get caught up in some 2-3 hr thing? What if I get interrupted? I don't have time for this." feeling that I recognized from Skeeta (after that, the logins just petered off until autodeletion occurred.) I preferred to just leave honestly when I heard the knells, than to fizzle out later.

I found Qalita to be horrifying and amazing all at the same time. Your well thought out role and commitment to making it reality put you into a class of your own. I felt completely inadequate giving you and kind of 'faith talk', because you intimidated me half to death. Amazing character - I would have loved to see more.

I don't think many people really picked up on how really demented Qalita was. Most people just reacted - "What? Imperial love? Ok, whatever. Have fun making that work." But if that was your reaction, you "got it".

That's what really made it so challenging to appease Rayihn, is because if I took the character in the direction she was pushing, Qalita's whole sense of reality would have collapsed like a house of cards.

There have been many threads through the years asking questions like "Can't you be an Imperial paladin who believes everything they are doing is righteous? Like a conquistador or a crusader or something?" And the conventional response has always been "No, see, because they're still actually evil."

That is what Qalita was. Horrifically and dementedly evil, but sincerely believed 100% she was good and righteous and pure, and that everything she did was in the selfless pursuit of a better world. But there was no delusion on my part as a player that she was, in any way, *good*.

However, that delusion was was 99% based on her having severe psychological damage. And Rayihn wanted to heal it. It was so frustrating for me, but I was very glad that Rayihn didn't just ignore her own reaction to the fact that Qalita was intrinsically a mentally ill individual.

If I had endless time, there are several ways I could have roleplayed it out, and it would have been a lot of fun and interesting, but also a lot of time and effort that I just didn't have.

I did, however, leave an end to the story that maybe Rayihn will tell you ICly. (I don't believe in deleting without wrapping up the story!)

Qalita was never quite sure what to make of Kelarin. His relationship with Rayihn totally challenged her sense of authority and structure, but then, Rayihn herself challenged it too.

(Oops, Amaranthe accidentally edited this post instead of replying to it. He was just commenting on Qalita's use of "ae")

I wasn't sure how to perpetually convey a sort of middle-eastern accent. I'm not sure that did it, but it was the best I could come up with without using esay for every single communication (a tactic I'm not fond of.)

It was not pronounced like the Fonz - it was supposed to just soften "I".

Admittedly, I had to go to dictionary.com and use the pronunciation tool when I heard you at the Inn for my first time.

I've experienced two of your morts and I loved them both. Please roll some more! Thank you!

Krunk was gun add tuh yuh list of corpses made, but yuh runned away. Krunk made cause not git teach lesson.

Or at least I think this was you... Raiding Outtie together and you were trying to be bossy?

You kind of put me in a crappy position - talking to me like dirt, yet I was SO often in a position of being incapable of doing a retrieval alone. So, I split the difference - endured the abuse long enough to retrieve, and then abandoned you. Ha!

And yes, I remained exceedingly good at fleeing most - just a sorry sack of corpse to those few who could strip away my advantages so, so easily.

It was interesting trying to decide if Krunk was going to risk alienating the Empire over trying to teach you, respect mah authorita! In the end you left before Krunk figured out whether he wanted to kill you or not, but it was hopefully an interesting, if brief, interaction.

It was! Very much felt like you SHOULD feel when forming an alliance with orcs.

"Hmm.. this is kind of dodgy. No, this is REALLY dodgy. Yeah, I think I'm just going to kind of keep my trap shut and then get the hell out of dodge once the Codex is released!"

Interacting with Qalita was priceless. I wish I could always pull off the level of RP you did and have it be so very flawless.

I had a lot of fun writing that poem for Qalita. I hope it did justice. You gave me a whole lot to work with, which was an immense help. Definitely a challenge I want to revisit for the characters of others.

Great job running the Herald events! I know it is not easy, sometimes even painful. But, I think you've done a good job of finding creative spins to put on various events. Keep it up! While I'm not technically a Herald Imm any more, Herald is forever in my heart and I always remain involved behind the scenes with the cabal. When you were running some events, Whiys actually put out a request for immortal presence at your events, and I had to decide whether to be present as an imm or as a mortal - but since most of my mortals ARE Heralds, I really wanted to try attending some as a non-Herald. Glad I finally got the opportunity.

Congrats on High Herald - you totally deserve it!

I had plans for our little alliance. I was sad to realize that our play times really didn't match up. You brought a much needed element to the empire dynamic. Your mortals (as well as Amaranthe) are a terrific asset to cf.

Oh and I literally lol'd when you tasked me with diagraming testes for your experiment. I consider myself fairly creative but I had no idea how to tackle that one.

Cheers.

I, too, was disappointed that our times rarely matched up. I was (and remain) intrigued by Aucius. I hope you stick around with the character!

(Did you ever actually create a diagram for Alannah?)

Numerous times I found myself thinking to my self, hmmm this person really REALLY has that mother's embrace vibe to the whole role that I got to thinking would it be possible to ever do an imperial healer amaranthe follower. Then it turns out to be YOU! You have to love irony, it's the spice of life.

Well done with the character, you still know your stuff.

Thanks for sticking around and even trying our characters when you can. This mud NEEDS people like you around, even if just once in a while, to even things out.

Thanks for watching our for the kids

Beloved War Master! Thanks for the kind words.

I felt you were the strongest of the Council (no offense to Relynar). I was, however, a tad diappointed with the Imperial Council dynamics this time around. My earlier experiences with Empire (both in Empire and with a character that was adjunct to Empire, before bards could join), involved a lot more juicy character/political dynamics. I kind of felt like that was missing - probably in part the lower player presence in general; when there are not a lot of candidates competing for power, there's less opportunity for betrayal and drama. Too bad.

Well, I didn't get time to spend with you after the original talk on what I felt, but I knew you had some huge back story from talking with Ray that I felt I missed out on. Glad you had fun with what you did, and glad Nexus was there to help you out when we were having to hunt you instead.

It was interesting to me to see first hand that Nexus actually does play a role as intended. I was actually involved in Nexus implementation too back in the day (for those who recall Jazur), but I dropped into inactivity shortly after and never did really see in the trenches how it played out.

I know people criticize Nexus, and I don't think it's perfect, but playing a mortal I really felt like Nexus served the role it was intended to serve - when I was down in the dumps and a sole login (which seemed more often than not) the Nexus presence often turned "crap, this is totally futile" to a successful retrieval. And when the Empire started steamrolling (which I only saw a few times, but I did see it), Nexus became an appropriate obstacle.

Probably not news to more of you active players, but I know I've seen complaining about Nexus on the forums, but I just didn't see many negatives. Yay, Nexus!