Wow, what a ride this game has been. I rolled my first char in mid to late 90s. I remember stepping foot in Galadon and getting poisoned from drinking the water from the fountain at the Temple of the Sun. It turned out Nazmorghul had been laying a siege on the city, and there were Dawnites standing at the fountain and handing out 'cure poison' pills. I think it took me seven tries before I figured out I should not drink the water, but from that moment on I was hooked.

CF is an awesome, unique place. It is so immersive that some of us even dream moving through the MUD when they sleep. It is the best creative outlet I have had in my life. And boy, it has been a constant part of me for decades now. The game has always had its ups and downs and I am sure for all of us it is a love/hate relationship because the most of us are sensitive creatives at our core. But as we age, hopefully we as persons change too. I had hopes for the past two years that this change has been for the better. It seems it really hasn't.

I have been a part of several on-line communities in my life, and in all of them there is toxicity to a lesser or greater extent. Here, it is important to not let that toxicity interfere with the game. And sadly for me, it finally has. You delineate yourselves as members of different cliques. Old grievances are never forgotten. You address each other as though that flame war on dio's a decade ago is still not hashed out. You keep to your old OOC rings and a lot of you still haven't accepted that this is supposed to be a creative game in which we collaborate in order for all of us to have fun. You should know better, you all have gray in your hair by now.

Imms, it has been and it always will be your way or the high way. But when you wield that attitude publicly it can just cause damage and never anything good will come out of it. When a player rolls a character and comes up to you, they don't need to earn anything. They are trying to spend what free time they have to have fun with you, and they should always be welcome without ephemeral bars of entry. Nor should they be expected to acknowledge that all standards are in an unexplainable flux, a pure whim of momentary interpretation. Even though in fact it IS your game, in truth it isn't just yours--it is ours too. All of us have spent too much time on it and have put a lot of emotion in what CF is. You too, ought to know better.

I find myself too old for this kind of drama. But for the first time in two decades I feel it influence me how I see, think and want to play the game. It is a poison that is going to ruin what has been something precious in my life. So I make the choice to leave it, in the hope that my memories of it don't get soiled by that filth. I tell myself, if people can learn how not to notice a missing tooth, I can learn how to live without CF.

And with that, I wish you all the best, friends.