Pardon my lack of sympathy. If you're getting summarily deleted for simply grouping with someone from your same site, then there's got to be a history of abuse from that site. I'm obviously not in a position to comment on rules violations, but as far as I know there's not even a hard rule against grouping with people from your same site. Just don't group with those people exclusively. Course I could be wrong.

You're correct that deletion isn't even in the ballpark for an initial conversation "grouping with someone from your site". You're also correct that grouping with someone from the same site is not necessarily a problem.

It's fairly rare that I check and don't see at least one same-site pair on line. Most of the time, I look, and they're not together. Or I look, and they are together, but I look a little more and it's a fairly rare occurence that is roleplayed effectively. Then I go do other things. You're absolutely correct that if you don't carry the OOC side into the game, no one will pull you aside for the rules talk.

If we do see a permagroup starting, we like to catch them early, and give the standard "Don't group with each other for a while." talk. Since there are hundreds of active character files at any one time, and dozens of them are online, having to avoid one single person isn't a problem, unless you're really depending on that perma lovin', in which case it was probably good that we stepped in early.

Unless you're doing something very abusive, or we keep having the same conversation with your characters, that's the standard talk. "Avoid that one guy for a while."

At some point I discovered the "greater" CF community and began to form relationships with people outside the game. Yet, somehow, I managed to avoid the temptation to perma with them, trade gear with them, or otherwise get smacked down for rules issues. So I don't think the enforcement of these rules is really a big damper on the social aspect of the game. For me, the social aspect is something exists outside the game.

This is a pretty standard story we get from new applicants to the staff. They talk to some people outside the game, but they know how to draw lines, and (shockingly) they've never been pulled for a rules violation, except that one time in 1996 when they multi-ed over a shaman's robe. They give us some character names, we do a little homework, and we figure out that they're telling the truth.

Put another way, if you're a frequent flyer in the Realm of the Dead, it's your own fault. Too many people play here for years and never see the inside of that room for me to believe that there's a horde of mean old imms pulling people at random.

valguarnera@carrionfields.com