It seems when you whisperto an item, anyone in the room can see what is whispered... if you are trying to hide a command phrase, I think you should be able to whisperto your item without everyone seeing it like you just did a say.

That might be WHY it's visible, so that you can't hide the command phrase. The danger of letting other people know how to use a powerful item is part of the balancing effect of command phrases.

And yet it's the Imms who are telling us NOT to share them... eh? They changed certain ones already because everyone knew them BECAUSE it's quite obvious what they are when everyone in the game sees them constantly. They don't have to work for them like I did.

Key words being: outside the game. That doesn't mean they don't want that information to disseminate inside the game.