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Forum Name Gameplay
Topic subjectDescription.Comments,please
Topic URLhttps://forums.carrionfields.com/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=6&topic_id=12472
12472, Description.Comments,please
Posted by lovechiefs on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
Hello all
I am trying to write a description of my character.
My character is human,ranger.Align is good and sphere is Justice.
I was thinking about the following:
Ikki,a ranger wears a practice sword,a soft leather vest.He has medium long hair,is medium built.

Comments?
12474, Comments
Posted by DurNominator on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
When you look at a character you see something like that.

description
Ikki, the male human, is in perfect health.

Ikki is using:

<worn on body> a soft leather west
<wielded> a practice sword


As you see, there is no need to describe the actual gear. Now let's view your attempt of a description:

Ikki,a ranger wears a practice sword,a soft leather vest.He has medium long hair,is medium built.

Firstly, we should get rid of the worn items in desc. You started the desc Ikki, a ranger. We can get rid of this attribute by simply calling you Ikki the ranger. We also need to get the desc into proper sentences so that it is pleasant to read. Secondly, height and built are the first observables that are seen. It would be a good start for us to put them in the same sentence. This way, we have a start for the description, that gives the frame for the character:

Ikki the ranger stands six feet tall and is of medium built.

Now that we have the frame, it is time to paint it. You mentioned that your character had medium long hair. That's a start, which we can use to let it flow:

Ikki the ranger stands six feet tall and is of medium built. He smells of mud and leaves and has medium-long hair of light brown colour, which flows open behind his neck. Small branches can be seen jutting out of his hair, some of which still have leaves in them. His tanned skin is covered with mud. Ikki has slightly pointed nose, above which his sky blue eyes calmly observe their surroundings.

The example above is a passable description and you can use it or alter it to better suit your purposes if you so wish.

After the description is written(do it in notepad or some other writing program, so that you can alter add lines in between while writing), it is time to insert the text to the Wrap Chop formatter in www.qhcf.net . The Wrap Chop will convert the description to have 80 characters per line, which is the standard line length of a description. The output will be given in a form that can be copy-pasted to the MUD.
12473, RE: Description.Comments,please
Posted by Aarn on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
I think you're on the right track there, but you should expand on it a bit more. Several pointers:

- For starters, it's usually best to avoid describing your armor in too much detail, because the pieces of armor you wear will change often. Maybe describe simple things, like a robe or a cape that would come in go, or generically describe "a helmet", since you can assume you'll always be wearing a helmet of some sort, etc.

- We need to get it a bit longer then that. I would add in some more descriptions of your character. A few examples: What color are your eyes? Long hair, short hair, blond, brown? Does he have lots of muscles, or is he tall and skinny? Fat and out of shape? How tall is he? Is he covered in twigs and mud, or is he clean and well-kept? What about scars on his body, or the color of his skin.

- What about a general attitude? Does he look mean and agressive, or timid? Friendly? Mysterious like?

- Just remember, you can't tell people what they feel in your description. So saying "He makes you feel afraid!" wouldn't be right, because maybe the person isn't afraid at all.

- In general, I think you should aim for about 6 or 7 lines minimum.

- If you have questions, you can ask here or pray for help in the game. We'll be happy to go over it with you as you write it!