Tue Dec 14 10:59:09 2010

At 8 o'clock AM, Day of the Great Gods, 19th of the Month of Futility
on the Theran calendar Truhukk perished, never to return.

Race:	orc
Class:	berserker
Level:	50
Alignment:	Neutral
Ethos:	Neutral
Cabal:	None, None
Age:	52
Hours:	306

disclaimer: This is not an attack or even a complaint, it is an explanation or an attempt at one.

For scar and valg, if I may: Several things... Oh where to start...
I am good vs. I want to be good but am not. 2 different things.
I was not being a hypocrite, nor was it lip service.
If you are trying to change your life you don't suddenly
wake up different. You have to work at it. I played that out
to the best of my ability.

(sometimes things that are clear to us, or "in your face obvious"
aren't that way to others. It's in how you think vs. how the other
person thinks. So I guess in your eyes hypocrisy and lip service
was blatant, and in mine the progression to "good" was obvious)

from the alignment change helpfile:
It is possible, eventually and generally after much suffering, to achieve a successful and ultimately uncrippled alignment change, but this is a challenge meant only for the best and most determined roleplayers. It can be very difficult to effectively portray both the character's new alignment and their history or racial limitations. For example, a good orc would still be an orc, with the many things that entailed. An orc that tries to be good-aligned and essentially acts just like a good human is not likely to be successful.

I did my best not to be a human in an orc suit.

I was trying to get the goodies to tell me what was missing.
as a play "I" knew, but the orc had no clue. I was well on my way
with olivin, but he deleted. If you caught any of the tells and conversations
you'd see I was asking, hinting, cajoleing(sp?) to get people to tell me
what about me was evil. :) After a while i even tried leading a few to it.
Then I just gave up and did it myself.

sidenote: whoever made the not using evil things comment:
I had quit drinking elf blood after talking to olivin and the elf bard guy.
Quit doing most rituals and all bloodrites shortly after.
I made the fetish masks out of my own corpses or those of
evil folk, and only did soot ritual in tainted places.
(taking life from evil rather than good.)
the LAST steps were what you saw. :)
Have any idea how much easier life would have been if I
had just kept it up? :) 'Could have gotten wood-elf blood
instead... etc... apparently though I should have stopped
everything cold-turkey and be the least believeable evil
turning good character ever. Hehe.

I'm forgetting something, but I assume that most people were
busy with other things, and weren't paying attention to the whole
drawn out deal. I'm not pissy or offended, I just wanted to clarify
things for the sake of anyone in the future. Maybe do what some
of you do for paladins? Maybe I misread the imm comments?
Maybe I just played it all out badly. I KNOW I should have put
more detail about it in my role, but I've always been too paraniod
to sit and write my roles. Yeah I do it all on the fly in game, sorry.

In any case it was it revitalized a character I was going to delete
at about 35 so I count it worth it. :) I even appreciated the hometown
change and thought you were just playing "evil" LOVED the refuse
heap thing! *rofl* I guess I never caught you thought I was being a
hypocrite. Lesson learned. What you think you are doing by "showing"
is not always seen, and if seen might not be seen the way you mean.
back it up with "telling" in your role.
Maybe I'll just take some people seeing things one way and some
another as having done it right? I mean I did want people to think
about stuff that they take for granted in game. So maran are you
killing the orc because he is an orc or because he is commiting evil?
That sort of thing. If I have any sense I'll never try this sort of
thing again. Hehe, but I am glad I did.
I think the real reason for this post is:
Please don't think I was being a #### and trying to slide one by.
I was sincerely doing the best I could with a crazy plan prompted
by giving up on the character combined with a couple of conversations.

Well, I'm going to miss the Orc. It was fun to watch you and I will say that you inspired a few very heated discussions in the Fort. I hope our interactions weren't too boring. Well played

Ohh pfft, not boring at all, it was enjoyable.
I WANTED to inspire alot more than that, on many levels and
in different places. It didn't work out so well. Hehehe.
I saw a couple of things, and assumed it was a general representation
of the current fort folks, and I thought I'd use the oppourtunity
to see if I couldn't goad people into re-aligning thier focus.
Then I found out that I was taking a small slice and projecting it
on others so I just stopped. I meant to try to make people think
about thier "whys" more. I wanted to sell the good-side to more
dark-hearts, and didn't do nearly as much as I initially meant to.
:) If I managed to get people riled up enough to talk out thier
different outlooks as maran and acolyte rock on! :)
I wanted to see if I couldn't trigger more people into rp to go with
thier pk. Hehehe. Maybe I'll figure out a way to do that one day
without trying to change alignments, 'cause dammmnnnn I don't think
I'll try that again for a long time to come. Playing paladins is
easier... MUCH easier. For those out there that want to try it, hey
it CAN be done, if you are looking for a challenge. Sometimes I
thought it was more of a "see how much pain you can take before
deleting" challenge, so be aware.

From a different outlook I'd have to say both you and Tharis(sp?)
get two thumbs up for how you dealt with Truhukk. If I was watching
from the outside and neither of you were leaders I'd have said that
those two guys would make perfect acolytes. I enjoyed all the talks.
You guys gave me the idea that I might actually play a scribe one
day. I've had alot of fort guys, but always on the maran side of
things.

I don't remember what else I was going to say. I have a text file
I'm working on off to the side for later, but with the holidays
we just have waaaaay too much going on here.

My internet at home has finally normalized to a CF usable fashion with a character I care about, and you are gone.

Truhukk was like the *only* orc who got on board with who Thrunna is/was (as a younger orc) and took up the mantle. To then have you betray her and turn to the light was a devastating blow. The one time I caught you just inside the Underdark Thrunna had just gotten smashingly drunk at the Inn and was talking about you, though of course not about you since you didn't exist, and then there you are and she has to kill you. Was a very sad day for Thrunna.

I enjoyed you, but I really wish you had stayed in the clan. Would have been a lot more fun with two orcs...

Thrunna, Queen of the Clan.

Damn trust meh I know, :) I was saving you for the second part of
my goodbyes, but there is just too much to say I guess.
Thrunna rocked, and yeah it would have been kinda sick. :)
I was already kinda tired of Truhukk, and then I saw an odd
direction that I couldn't possibly pull off and I took it.
It kept me from the blahs. I did love the rp though before and
after the outcast thing. The drunk mom bit was awesome. Wish
we hadn't gotten interupted by the conjie. I am just not cut
out for orcs. Don't get me wrong they are fun to play and all,
but I should never ever ever roll another one, but I probably
will some day. It was even cooler that it seemed as a player you
got it and kinda even cheered me on, but as a character you'd
beat me down given a chance. I really was expecting a few more
orcs to rank up and you'd have 3-4 folks with you. Sorry.
Some of my earlier conversations with outsiders were about how I'd
follow your orders anyway. Even after the missive went out had you
ordered me to do stuff I would have done it, explaining to people
I was forced to fight "but... it's my mom... what can I do?"
half of me hoped you would have used that, the other half said
just don't say anything... :) I DID follow your orders by the way
never violated a one. Hehe. and of course kept my word about never
going for chieftan (though I wasn't anyway) So in Truhukk's mind he
wasn't a betrayer. YOU said I wasn't an orc and not to talk on the
clan channel btw. Though the way you did it worked out for me.
There is alot more, but I have a warm wife in bed waiting. BBL

I don't have a whole lot of time, I have to go pick up the grandkids
from school in a little bit, but I just felt I had to pop in and say
a few things.
:) Sooooo, here's what happened...
I see this facebook thing about trying to get old players to come
back, and I thought "what the hell" I'll give it a shot.
I rolled what was supposed to be my usuall wanna-be maran, got him
to 11 and went "bleh". Oh I know! I haven't played an orc in a long
time, they made a lot of changes to them recently, let's try that out!
Some time before adaptation I ran around with an elf skull shaking it
around acting like a pathetic witch-doctor/shaman and thought I'd try that guy again. The goal was to make it to adaptation, and secondary to that was to make it to fifty. (Yes from the moment he was rolled
there was never any intention to be chief, that could have only
happened if no one else had a hope of being chief for a long time)

Well looks like I pulled those two goals off. HAH! Bleh interupted by door to door salesmen of all things! So where was I? Hehe he was meant to be a throw away character to get back into the feel of
things, knock some rust off, and just waste some time. Somewhere
around adaptation I went "bleh" again. Time to go back to the old
concept. When you get "bleh" try and find a new direction for the character. Give it a little while, if you are still "bleh" delete.

Sooooo I'm plunking along gathering blood and Nnaeshuk starts talking
to me. (You that know meh might be aware I tend to shy away from
imm interaction even with my empowerment characters I always feel
like I'm stealing something (time?) when I get attention that way)
Still not exactly sure why, but I "think" I know. Instead of
Die orc die, he's pushing "think for yourself". So I thought orcs
are orcs, they do what they do, what the hell would an orc who
thinks outside the herd do??!?! So I start talking to people, ALOT!
So later I go meet Olivin, who comes in prepared for a battle, even
though I just said I wanted to talk (good idea though man) He won't
start the fight, I won't start the fight, so we talk...

The "bleh" went away, replaced by a string of ugly deaths and more
bad luck... It was so bad it would make baby Nimmers cry.
Hrmpf, I gotta go. More later, but for now:
Thank you everyone. I mean really everyone who interacted with me
gods and mortals alike. I had a good time (mostly). You guys made
this character. Okay so I made the semi-retarded speech pattern, but
hey he was an orc right? I have tons more to say another time (sorry)
I'll respond to anyone and everyone, good or bad critiques welcome.
Snotty derisive crap I'll take but won't be welcome. :)
Later,
Bajula, like maybe the worst pk'er ever.

And you nearly did get me that time outside Evermoon, I actually teleported into that locked room in evermoon, decided to go for it and told you that I was still near, threw up a barrier and shield (Only had aura for the first fight) and with only 400hps I summoned you. Man was I afraid of dying there.


Well played! Hope you return soon again!

Hehe Ya wanna know something stupid about that? I had some preps on me
realized it after I went running in "He's gonna summon! What am I
soing?!?" I ALMOST made it back out, I was at the entry. Couple more
steps and I would have come back in ironskin+prot from evil+a very
short duration sanc. *rofl* I couldn't berserk there either. :(
Though I really should have prepped up right after I spinebroke you.
I kinda sucked with the whole prep thing. When I was thinking of
using them I never had them, and when I had them I always forgot
that I did. Hehe.
Cawr was one of my favorites. I was kinda sad about our previous
"friendship" when I was trying to turn good. Some of those ahhh
what could have been... moments.

I was SO surprised when you ate 3xOBLITS in a row straight up when I had like 45 damroll or so when using a infernal power weapon.

I have no idea, but that makes sense. All I know is that after
Scarabaeus did his thing, the only reason I wasn't getting tooled
by 30th level characters is because they weren't in my pk range.
It was kinda sad. :) Then again maybe it was just me sucking.
Hehe.

Dude, awesome char. I wanted to be involved when you became good. I tried to help as much as possible without going overboard. I really wanted you to make the chief and then go for redemption. That would have been awesome.

Make a tribunal.

GLWYN

Hey man I appreciate it, really. Every little bit helps. I was never
gonna go for chief though. :) I don't think the whole tribby thing
is for me. Then again I have never played one... some day maybe.
Kakola was pretty cool. You know you are the only person to have
flagged me? Drayden summoned me into a locked room, so I biffed him.
:) Thanks for all the cleansing stuff etc... and the talks, and the
I guess acceptance would be the best word. Had I made it to good...
oh my... Haha.

I watched this character grow and change in many different ways through it's life. You seemed to make slow, well thought out progressions as you slowly shed your old way of life and embraced the Light. I appreciate all of the effort that took. I'm glad I got to be a part of it and I'm glad that deciding to go RP with someone on a whim worked out to be a rewarding experience for us both. Best of luck on whatever is next!

Nae-nae

Hey man you rocked, what can I say it was fun. The slow thought out
thing was stolen from an old character Feichin who was a fort
shapeshifter who found himself agreeing with villagers for a long
time until (I think it was a character twist was playing but I had
no idea he was even around at the time.) the marshal of the fort
told me use everything I had or get booted. :) Anyway Feichin did
this slow phasing out of his magic, so I kinda applied the same
thing with Truhukk.

Disclaimer: It's alot harder to work out on the fly than I am
implying here though, don't try this at home kiddies, or at all
really. I MIGHT have done the same thing if I had to do it over,
but really if you look at some of the people I've played I'm kind of
a glutton for punishment or a seeker of impossible things. However
you wanna look at it.

You popped in at the perfect time, had you not spoken to me then
or really, had you done it any differently, I'd have plodded along
to 50 and probably deleted soon after.

Thanks for all the little encouraging words here and there too.
It helped when things got... dark there for a while Hehe.

I was rooting for you to live long enough to fully succeed! A Good Orc would be phenomenal! Oh wait, so is a neutral one ;).

I was glad to have at least some part in it. Truhukk was a memorable character, will miss having you around.

SYWYN

Thanks man. I was actually fairly surprised when I got turned neutral.
Hell I was surprised when my hometown got moved what am I talking
about? :) The whole thing was pretty awesome all around.

I was really glad you were able to prove you were no longer wicked, and was cheering for you to make it the rest of the way.

Had a lot more typed, but figured it would be best if I took it back out with still being active.

GLWYN, and I'll try to remember you for more in goodbyes whenever that day comes.

Man did you ever grow on Kourin. Interacted with you with Ralek and Kourin, you were one of the three successful assassinations that I had as Ralek.

I really liked what you did with this one. the RP was really good. I loved the way our relationship evolved. I was sad when you posted on my death thread and I wouldn't have been there to speak for you when you needed me.

Top notch man, top notch.

I hope you had fun and come back soon with another.

Hahaha Man that assassination pissed me off! I was all feeling good
rockin' along with the ranking and poof! :)

It is sad and kind of an ooc thing, but yeah certain people, when the
time came I was going to try to hint at them speaking up for me in a
more public way, or to deities, whatever it took. hehe.

I totally dug the whole going from hated enemy, to semi-respected
enemy, to I won't go out of my way to kill him, to hey I kinda like
this guy, but he's still evil soo... etc...

That sort of interaction was the most fun for me. Well and the allies
turned enemy thing wasn't bad either.

:) I'll look forward to hearing it. I was kinda hoping to make it the
rest of the way too. After my hometown change though it was about
a day before I decided I'd be con dead before I really had any chance
of it. I'm really amazed I lived as long as I did.