Well, it was bound to happen. I was mostly just waiting around until I eventually lost the equipment I had. Too bad it wasn't in a blaze of glory though. I had a lot of great interactions, and a lot of really poor interactions. It's a bad thing that it's ingrained into my personality that when people start trying to treat me poorly, I try to return the favor. Carrion Fields is just too easy of a place for people to let loose their inhibitions and let the worst of themselves out. At times, I'm no exception. But as a person (IRL, of course) I am not like that at all. So Carrion Fields will have to take a nice long break. Because I don't like the feeling I get sometimes from this game.

There was also a lot of good. For the better part of the character's life, it seemed like there was always something really great to look forward to. This was a really fun character to play. Not necessarily from the PK perspective of things, but the RP with the Fortress, some Outlanders, some Tribunal, some miscellaneous people, was a lot of fun. The only thing I really felt disappointed about was never meeting Corrlaan. That really left me bummed out sometimes. I don't ever play with the expectations of getting Immortal interaction. But this particular time around, I had some really great ideas that never saw the light of day. Just how it goes sometimes I guess.

Then things became hectic for me IRL and I knew I wouldn't last much longer. And with a new chapter in my life beginning, there is less and less time for CF. Kayella began to lose her presence because of the infrequence, and there became a lack of connectivity to the character these last few logins, due mostly to time constraints.

If you have anything you'd like to say, I'll reply when I get the opportunity. If you have anything bad to say, that's fine, I don't care. I'm not perfect. Just ask yourself if there's any point to it before hitting "Post message."

I'll try to have more individual farewells later. But I wouldn't count on it right now.

It seemed like you just wanted to break the law just to piss me off. Other times it felt like you didn't care about the innocent people of the cities at all. You only cared about killing the evils there and if innocents get in the way, oh well. Fendril's ideals were, if you want to kill those of the dark path, go ahead, just not in my city. He looks at the evils the same way, just keep it out of my cities. It also felt like you were looking for an excuse to strike me when you killed the Duergar in Galadon. Figuring if you were wanted, you had to defend yourself. Then of course the outtie bard showed up and I was a bit too busy to deal with you. Maybe I'm way off base, but that was my thoughts.

Corrlaan - I really should have added more roles to try and explain how Kayella was feeling. But I felt like I just wanted to talk about it rather than write about it. Looking back, that was probably a mistake. Kayella sort of felt like she had gone her whole life with all these great stories (from her mother) about you, and how important it is to be faithful no matter what. But the duties of the Maran started to take a heavy toll on her heart and soul, and slowly she became more numb to the war itself. She had hoped to get the opportunity to speak with you about these inner feelings. Someone to confide in. Someone to help lift the burden from her.

I regret now not having put that into the role. It probably made things very hard to understand at times (from a 3rd person view). I know that I spoke with a couple Fortress members about it at times. Overall though, no hard feelings about anything.



Istdinen - You were one of Kayella's first friends. You set the standard of being an Acolyte. You had this regal presence though, which also edged towards fatherliness. Kayella was a young, inexperienced and bashful Elf. She had no royalty in her family heritage. Sort of an ordinary single child with terrific parents, who helped her pave the entry to her journey. In many ways, Kayella held that regality against you, and was very unsure about her feelings more often than not. Also, you seemed very consumed in your literary works. As though they were more important to you. I had attempted to hint this, but it never really sank in.

We had a lot of fun exploring. You were always there. And you weren't afraid to sacrifice yourself if duty called.



Narclarn - I was really pissed when you got up and left. We had some really great battles. And we fought some really bad odds together, and still managed to come out on top. For a while there, we were a motley crew to be reckoned with. Strange how a Dwarf and Elf came to be such good friends. Such good comrades. But every now-and-again, we (Team Elf) had to make sure there were some haughty Dwarf jokes thrown in. You took them quite well. Good luck my friend.



Cyruil - There was a large void after Narclarn left. You were up and coming when Narclarn had retired. To Kayella, you were smart. Confident. Chivalrous. And handsome. So Kayella jokingly chose (no, demanded) you to be her new best friend. I never would have guessed what would evolve. We had some of the most amazing experiences I've ever had in Carrion Fields. Your loyalty and companionship to the me and to the Fortress was second to none. You took a few bad punches and just kept right on going. You epitomized dedication.

Good luck to you and your future endeavors.



Inglor - I am at a loss of words here. We started out as terrific friends. You helped me several times. We had good conversations. And then "the incident" happened, and we were never the same. We may have nodded or waved in passing each other. Never more than a few words. I tried to say I was sorry so many times. I wanted to explain to you how wrong I was. How sorry I was. But it was just not meant to be. I was always concerned about you though. You seem to know what you're doing. But for a while there, you had to put up with really bad odds (against the Outlanders). And I tried to be there for you as much as possible.



Those were the people who really had a large impact on Kayella's life.

Some shorter good-byes to follow:

Corriann(a) - You're very charming and priestly. I never saw anything bad from you. You were always right there, willing and ready to help. The only thing I didn't like were the random internet connection losses at a couple crucial moments. I never suspected they were intentional though.

Nerisa - Your story sounds good. But goodness is it covered in mystique. I thought for a moment I had an inkling of what you were talking about. But then you'd lose me a few sentences later. You were very nice, and a fresh breath of neutrality.

Takezenallan - We had an odd relationship. Thanks for understanding my perspective and rolling with it. Every time I was doing absolutely nothing, you'd be busy with Outlanders. The other times, it seemed just the opposite. I really wanted to show you some different things for helping me out so much. I liked your character. I just hope you stay cautious with the Light vs. Light fighting. Not to say you aren't. So please don't get that impression.

Rakhir - A solid, competent assassin. Though I never once saw or heard about you assassinating anyone. I thought that was strange, given the veteran presence you exuded. A felar assassin Maran has always sounded like something I would like to try. You're another one that takes some hard hits once in a while, but just kept going.

Mizfara - I probably should've put you up with the top ones also. I really liked Mizfara. I thought you had some bad policy ideas though. And maybe "bad" is not a good way to describe it. I just didn't understand some of them. Or at least they didn't make sense from Kayella's perspective. Why would Kayella not help Seyriannia or Macha fight Scions, after I had known them for so long? There were a couple policies I just ignored. And if you had found out I was ignoring them, I was willing to take the hard road for my decisions.

As for the incident with the centurions...Kayella viewed her actions as ideal for the circumstances. Not necessarily ideal overall. You weren't there. You weren't the one who had to stand and fight half the Imperial council alone. You weren't the one who landed a sweet victory over Dashmiri, despite being utterly outnumbered. I was. I had been there. For that particular battle. That grueling battle that was so close to victory, yet so far away. I didn't want Kostyan to have the last laugh. We all know how arrogant he is. It did not bode well with Kayella. She made the decision to pay the centurions. After all, it was just a lousy 15 gold coins. I fully expected to be reprimanded for what I did. But I didn't care. Because to Kayella, it was a victory. A challenge of wits between myself and Kostyan. And I had won. And yet, I ended up feeling bitter about it, because not one damn person had said good job to me. Not one person cared. No. I was wrong. And that's just the way it was. Kayella was always willing to back up her decisions with reason. She always had a reason for the things she did. Even if they weren't necessarily the right reasons in the eys of the Maran. She still felt it was for the greater good, as opposed to how you viewed the incident.

We recovered from the incident for the most part. I never really let it hang over me as a blemish. But looking back, I can see somewhat that it put an air of silence between us at times. As though our friendship had receded just one small step backwards. Enough to make our personal dealing obsolete. Leaving us talking strictly about duty. And Kayella was fine with that. You were the Captain. And Kayella respected you. Kayella respected the position of Captain.



I'm sorry if I forgot anyone. I got sort of long winded there. Again, if you have any comments, I'll be happy to respond when there is an availability of time.

Thanks again to everyone.

>Why would Kayella not help Seyriannia or Macha fight Scions, after
>I had known them for so long? There were a couple policies I
>just ignored. And if you had found out I was ignoring them, I
>was willing to take the hard road for my decisions.

Yeah. Maybe I should have devoted more time to explaining that one. I suspected you were ignoring the policy, but the frustrating thing about CF is that unless you're an imm it's crazy hard to prove anything. I might get a tell or a note from some person complaining about it, but usually it was someone you'd killed, in which case their claims against you were immediately suspect. Speaking as Mizfara the Captain, who am I going to believe, some non-good guy who's clearly pissed about just having been killed, or my own elf cabal mate who is supposedly role-bound not to deceive me?

>As for the incident with the centurions...Kayella viewed her
>actions as ideal for the circumstances. Not necessarily ideal
>overall. You weren't there. You weren't the one who had to
>stand and fight half the Imperial council alone. You weren't
>the one who landed a sweet victory over Dashmiri, despite
>being utterly outnumbered. I was. I had been there. For that
>particular battle. That grueling battle that was so close to
>victory, yet so far away. I didn't want Kostyan to have the
>last laugh.

I'm not sure it matters that I wasn't there. I had a pretty good handle on how things went down after meeting with you. What I think you didn't understand, and maybe still don't, is that sometimes role-play means you just can't take the action that is "ideal for the circumstances". It means sometimes you have to give up that "sweet victory", because doing so means violating your role. It means that sometimes the Kostyan's of the world really do get the last laugh. And that's okay.

Now, maybe in this case paying centurions didn't in any way violate Kayella's role. If it didn't, though, then could it be that Kayella's role wasn't ideally suited to her being a Maran? I mean, you also admit to blatantly ignoring one of the edicts I laid out in those notes. How does that mesh with someone who has pledged her life to the Brigade, part of which means recognizing the authority of its Captain?

>And yet, I
>ended up feeling bitter about it, because not one damn person
>had said good job to me. Not one person cared.

Unfortunately, I think you misunderstood the repimand to mean that I didn't think you did a good job. At least skill wise. You did. Hell, in your shoes I probably would have died. The issue at stake was how you went about doing what you did.

> >As for the incident with the centurions...Kayella viewed her
> >actions as ideal for the circumstances. Not necessarily ideal
> >overall. You weren't there. You weren't the one who had to
> >stand and fight half the Imperial council alone. You weren't
> >the one who landed a sweet victory over Dashmiri, despite
> >being utterly outnumbered. I was. I had been there. For that
> >particular battle. That grueling battle that was so close to
> >victory, yet so far away. I didn't want Kostyan to have the
> >last laugh.

>I'm not sure it matters that I wasn't there. I had a pretty good
>handle on how things went down after meeting with you. What I think you
>didn't understand, and maybe still don't, is that sometimes role-play
>means you just can't take the action that is "ideal for the
>circumstances". It means sometimes you have to give up that "sweet
>victory", because doing so means violating your role. It means that
>sometimes the Kostyan's of the world really do get the last laugh. And
>that's okay.

So, basically you should donate the gold it would've cost to pass, plus the rest of your gold, plus all your gear to the empire... just to prove a point?

Ok, fine if it's a cabal policy.. But please don't call people bad roleplayers just because they refuse to be utter retards. And if Kayella was sphere victory and about winning the war against Empire, I can't see how you can possibly expect her to help the empire out to the extent that not paying the centurions would be.

Seriously dude.

That's just so far off, I won't even bother.

Why would you ever be consciously aiding the Empire as a Fortress member? EVER?

That's what you are doing when you pay Centurions money to pass the toll. They don't collect that money so Chuck can buy new ####kicker boots.

I understand what you are saying though. As a purely game-mechanics stand point, the smart move IS paying Centurions. After all, can't you kill more imperials and do more good if your character is alive? However, if all the goodie's starting RPing like that, you know what? We'd have a lot of neutral characters, but that isn't good "good" roleplay. One of the worst things about being a goodie, or placing other such role restrictions on yourself, is that you have to take "one for the team" because of such restrictions. Some players can't handle that. Magus is a great example, and it's one of his biggest flaws as a player.

I don't categorically have a problem with Fort paying Cents on occasion when the situation merits it, for what it's worth. I don't think it inherently makes the character neutral.

Whether the ends justify the means is a constant ethical struggle for most well-played good characters.

Edited to add: I also don't have a problem with a good character who absolutely refuses to pay, and I've played such characters as well.

...as long as they know it is a problem as a Fortress member, especially a Maran, to be paying Cents.

No one is infallible, except maybe you :)

You're badass elf paladin, you're completely overpowered and outgunned, but you're crafty and brave. You throw on a large black cloak with a deep hood and hide yourself in its shadows. You conceal your weaponry and yourself in plain view, walking up the middle of the road through enemy territory as if you have nothing to hide. You get to the enemy roadblock, they eye you suspiciously, you shrug slightly, slipping them a few gold coins, they don't notice your heritage through your gauntlets, and motion for you to leave. You continue on your way, not missing a beat. You stride past the rest of the guards, completely avoiding the brunt of the enemy's first line of defense, you've given yourself enough time to completely annihilate the Imperial Vanquisher and you hurl your cloak aside, bringing down the wrath of the light on it before the enemy forces overwhelm you, you retreat, but not before you take down the vanquisher.

I paid off Centurions all the time as Niheriva, never had a problem with it. All you're doing is buying time.

Others feel differently, including IMMs.

One day I'll have to sack up and actually roll a goodie, of course, to PWN everyone's n00bie breadz and be the pinnacle of l33t rpness.

nt

One day I'll have to sack up and actually roll a goodie, of course, to PWN everyone's n00bie breadz and be the pinnacle of l33t rpness.

It's generally the people who never play heroic roles who want to see the heroes act as dumb as possible.

valguarnera@carrionfields.com

Sorry, reading old threads.

PS Nepenthe. Dare accepted and consumated.

Now give me the quest form Zorszaul.

I'm going to go ahead and back this up. Paying cents =(imo) horrible goodie roleplay. Its like saying Heres the gold you need to fund the torment of thousands of innocents Cheers! And unlike DaBull, I've got some experience playing the goodies(though pwning the noobie breads is not my expertise)

Gramoak/Shamanman

.

your subject lines are horribly short and underperform for my useless nt posts

I am probably among the biggest critics of paladins, in a variety of areas, bearing that in mind...if this were written in a role or played out so someone like me could see and understand what was going on...I think it is a viable tactic. Cool points for the phrasing. It seems like this might work for the mid-level Fort person who cannot handle multiple pairs of hero-called cents.

Now to say IMMS don't like this kind of behavior as a blanket statement is obviously not true. I see different degrees and depths of paladins, and paying Cents to get to where the crunch is feels correct...and the nice thing is, you don't have to announce yourself at the loud-mouthed cents.

As a habit, I would discourage it.

eshval@carrionfields.com

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S. Thompson

When six team member Imperial Gank squad was on and it was frustrating coming up with two man Fort retrieval tactic. You knew they were close, but not THAT close to Palace because they KNEW you didn't have the balls to come retrieve. They had put out 4 sets of cents to give themselves plenty of time to get back from wherever it was they decided to go explore together. The times I'm thinking of either with Fort conj, Paladin or warrior I've never had a problem paying and retrieving and getting item back before enough of them got there to be a problem. Now, of course they ALWAYS got it right back, but there is a certain satisfaction in getting it back if only for a few moments, or for enough time to log out with your item.

>So, basically you should donate the gold it would've cost to
>pass, plus the rest of your gold, plus all your gear to the
>empire... just to prove a point?

It's not donating if they kill you and take it from you. Therein lies the fundamental difference.

If you can't get the orb without paying cents then you live without the orb for a while. If you can't kill someone without paying cents then you miss out on that kill. I'm not saying people should do stupid stuff and die. I'm saying they should pull back and bide their time until they can retrieve without dying and without paying centurions.

>Ok, fine if it's a cabal policy.. But please don't call people
>bad roleplayers just because they refuse to be utter retards.

I haven't done that and I don't plan on doing it. Implicit in your request is the idea that "not paying cents in that situation" amounts to being an "utter retard". I don't accept that assertion.

>And if Kayella was sphere victory and about winning the war
>against Empire, I can't see how you can possibly expect her to
>help the empire out to the extent that not paying the
>centurions would be.

If she was sphere "victory at all costs" then she should never have joined Fortress, and probably should have been neutral. If she wasn't sphere "victory at all costs", then it shouldn't have posed a problem for her to not pay cents.

Thank you for the kind words. Based on your opinion of Cyruil, I must be doing a pretty good job. That description lists most of the traits I am shooting for, thanks again.

With Kayella gone there will be a void in the Fortress, without a doubt, but I think many of us were ready as all the signs pointed that this was coming.

I knew Kayella had been searching for Corrlaan for some time without success and I tried to fill that gap as good as I could as one of his followers until she could finally reach him. I hope that our talks on religion and such helped at least a little.

I had tons of fun adventuring with Kayella and fighting at her side. Thanks again for the great experience, perhaps one of the best I've had as so far.

I think i learned the most about the attitudes behind a maran from you. At least how to justify it RP wise. I'm on my first fortressite and enjoyed ever moment spent with you. Not going to reveal who I am since it'd be obvious I was a newbie to the cabal if I did..if it isn't already.

Well anyway I enjoyed the interactions we had and thought you was well played. GOod luck on the next

You still owe me that helm. I tried helping the fortress out, but being a Law-Woman, I had my limits.

The Mistress is running her new religion in an occult fashion, and with increased religious status comes increased religious knowledge. I tried to convey that and my mystical scientist nature but I either confused you or refused to give you the information you desired, which is what has driven most people away. Kayella looked to be interesting, but like most members of the Fortress I found Kayella's character depth inaccessible in our limited interactions.

NT

~

Until you attacked me in my gods shrine with Acvilar. Other then that, well done.

I had a few issues with Kayella when I first began watching you, but that changed as I watched more of your battles. The main thing I noticed (aside from one instance) was you were gutsy as any I have seen. For that, nice work.

eshval@carrionfields.com

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S. Thompson

By the time I realized (my fault for not checking prays) that you were looking for me. I had intended to figure you out and lure you to the shrine for a talk.


That being said, during my watching of you in the past few weeks I saw a lot of stuff that left a definite 'bleh' taste in my mouth. Smatterings of 'lone wolf RP' and 'powergameyness' came through in several sessions of raids and such that I was watching. Threw some comments out as the Watcher AND as the Knight and the response from you was sort of uninspiring.

Now maybe this was at the end of it all, and bitterness was creeping in. I can understand that. But from the comments I wasnt the only one noticing this sort of stuff. A decently well-played...very strong warrior. But you still had some RP stuff to work on and maybe assimiliate yourself a bit more to the 'Team' atmosphere of the Fortress.

Again...sorry we didnt get a chance to discuss stuff and sort of mold your energy to where it needed to be. Hope you got some fun out of it though.

Corr

Wow, I'm sad to see Kayella go but I can't say that it was unexpected. Wish I would have had the chance to RP with her a bit though before she actually 'retired'. Knowing that she got what she always wanted when she did go would have been pretty cool.

I had a lot of fun RPing with your character and learned a few new things in the process. I hope that you do come back some day because you add a great element to CF. Take care!

Thanks for the fun. No bad comments here.

It was entertaining how you'd approach disagreeing with authority figures (e.g., Imms). You did not come across as disrespectful or angry. More like "confused because what you were hearing contradicted everything you had heard before." If that was all roleplayed, then well done.

It also made for enjoyable logins to know that I could count on you to have my back - and I'm sure others felt the same way.

So like I said, thanks for the fun and good luck with what you have going on.

There is a lot I want to say, most good and a little negative. I tried to give Kayella a little bump in inspiration because I did get a sense of dwindling interest with her on your end. I wanted to bring some of the the spark back in you that I experienced when I first met Kayella. Sometimes real life has the habit of making things impossible to stay in the role we set out to enjoy. Sometimes even simply not enjoying that role as much as you had hoped. I'm sorry you felt it ended up so one way or the other.

I do have more I want to say, but I'll wait until I pass or move on before I do so. I will say that I really enjoyed the contrast between the two characters and I will miss that. I have seldom had the opportunity to role play with an ally that differed so much from my own character and still made it work well. Thank you as well for all the help you rendered me given recent events. Best of luck to you, and high hopes that real life smooths itself out in your favor soon.

Istdinen

...if that makes any sense. Every time I see your characters, I keep hoping you'll have the Balrahd affect and uplift the play of those around, but for whatever reason, it just never happens.

Regardless of how I feel about you in CF if you're not having fun, take some time away from the game and enjoy life.

Good luck.

Because of the players acidic attitude towards certain other people. There'll be logs to follow as soon as key players delete. I also noticed a tendancy to be focusing on pk winning over attempts at coolness, which led to Kayella flying into some already-huge-gank situations in the classic dogpile.

Other than that, well played and a tough as hell fighter. You actually did fight a lot solo - rarely grouping with others except for raids. It's just beyond me why you felt a 3-on-1 gank needed you added into the mix. The rp was cold/not there but I didn't expect much as your main opponent. Just try remembering you project an image not just to your allies, but to your opponents too. You'd be surprised how much talk of you on our CB varies from your allies - what marks the really good players is when it doesn't.

Good luck out there, and see you in fields again.

Lay off the cheap taunting. I think that was what really brought you down more than anything. If I hadn't felt like I was being stabbed at by a frustrated 13 year old, I probably would have had a VERY different view of Kayella. Cheers.

NT

Any character where you have fun and it wasn't entirely at the expense of other peoples' fun is a good character. So, since you had fun with Kayella, she was a good character.

I suspect I'm sort of stating the obvious here, but I got the feeling I really rubbed you the wrong way. Considering our philosophical differences re: the cabal, and that I made "your job" more difficult, I guess that's to be expected. Sorry?

The high point of the character, for me, was when you approached me to recommend someone other than yourself to fill the position of Marshall. That was cool.

The low point was when you totally copped an attitude with me after the incident with the centurions. I don't say this to be spiteful, but I kind of regret not booting you then. Not because of what precipitated the discussion, but the way you handled it. I hate to be the one to ruin someone's character, though, so I chickened out. You seemed much cooler after that, so maybe I made the right decision after all.

Anyway...thanks for the gear? It was extremely timely, given what had just been looted from me prior to your deletion.

Props to you, you were buff. Thanks for helping me out when I was super lowbie too. Appreciated it a lot.

Damn you for stealing my dragon kill! heh just kidding of course. Good character from what little I interacted with you. With this character and my last. Come back soon.