Tue Aug 22 20:59:28 2006

At 5 o'clock AM, Day of the Moon, 35th of the Month of the Battle
on the Theran calendar Agga perished, never to return.

Race:	half-drow
Class:	druid
Level:	38
Alignment:	Evil
Ethos:	Chaotic
Cabal:	None, None
Age:	58
Hours:	57

For any number of reasons. First it was cool to have you around, as your rp was very unique. Second, I had a plan to gain those prayers benefits that I think would have been fun for both of us. Third, I was going to use you to further my characters development in a certain area, and now that's been cutoff, so I have to find a new route now...

To me, nothing about this character screamed druid, but then nothing really came off as evil either... Creepy, yes, but evil.. eh not really. It did seem that after you lost supps you became slightly less creepy/evil, but that could just be my flawed perception and some player frustration bleeding through.

And since I'm selfish: Damn you now I have neither Jaj my perma ranking buddy or you my sometimes ranking buddy. Hows a fela supposed to get to hero?

You were in my role for chissakes! ARGGHHH!

Hope to see you again though, thought Agga was awesome, and that sort of creativity is a boon to us all.

I didn't get to hang around Nefla as much as I would have liked. Its interesting to see felar shapeshifters, for me anyway. I think some of the creepy/evilness did drain after losing supps, because I was less.. intimidating, I guess. Anyway, I'm sure we'll meet in another life. :)

nt

That would be super! I wasn't going to be able to buy it for a couple of weeks. I'll owe you one.

nt

I from the beginning of meeting this character knew there was some interesting things behind the scenes. And though I knew from the interactions we had it would be a different road for you the character, I thought it to be a wonderful edition to the Refuge. Your roleplay from what I was able to perceive was very creepy, but fun. And I think I was one who caught a few different sides of the character. As the last time when you had lost your supps, I figured it would be hard for you to pull it off. A shame you couldn't find the balance in the roleplay to keep the character rolling, but such complex roles cause much to be thought out as they bring much attention. As my time has lessenend recently with the beginning of school and such, I am just getting back into the swing as my schedule has unfolded and I was hoping to still have you around for the rest to unfold. Anyways, great character from what I saw and a shame things didn't work out. Good luck on the next and I hope it is something as shining as this character was.
Jhesar

It was fun interacting with you and you really responded well to me. I however had a feeling that an "evil" druid was not to be. It is kinda like gnomes having to remain neutral you see, or aps having to stay evil. Either way, I was rooting for you to soldier on. Damned good effort, dont let the lessons go to waste. Roll another and see you in the fields!

57 hours and almost a complete waste of time. I tried. I really tried to not get utterly frustrating and break character and cry and whatever else.

This was maybe my second empowered character. My first got to level 40. I put a LOT of thought into the orginal role, tried to be really well role-played and everything, went for a particular style of RP and chose an immortal I thought fit. I had noticed that Muuloc was around quite a bit and that our times meshed fairly well, so it seemed a good choice. I've tried several empower character in the past that waited and waited and waited for empowerment, but just ended up 5-20 hours later with nothing.

There was my biggest mistake, apparently. Rather than making it clear that Muuloc didn't accept druids, I get empowered to 25, tried praying to him a couple of times, ranked some more, then hit 28 before he got back to me. "Blah, blah, blah, you're really evil now." So I get turned evil, unasked and, in my opinion, undeservedly and lose all my supps. Now I'm useless meat for everyone to kick around. I make it ten levels and who knows how many hours later and then get kicked out of Outlanders (which was the only reason I was able to keep alive), then get told by Muuloc to go to Amaranthe, then go to Amaranthe who says "I'm busy, talk to me later and contemplate nature". I get frustrated and I pray OOC for the first time ever in 5 years playing. I talk with an imm, calm down a bit, quit out, come back today and just get beat down by everyone. I am NOT having fun and I'm really frustrated and I just really wanted to have fun, so I delete.

I understand that empowered characters take a little bit extra and I feel that I gave more than a fair lot into RP and character development. I was Cronish, to be sure, and would have made a good Amaranthe follower, but the reason I didn't go to her for empowerment was because our times didn't mesh.

Don't the imms realize that it sucks the fun out of the game when they do stuff like this? I may play the game again, but for right now, I feel much less than enthused about doing so. 57 hours, most of that in 1-2 hour intervals is a lot of days to be playing one game. I put a lot into this character and feel basically like it was a huge waste of time, which I normally don't feel when I play the game. Am I unjustified in my anger? I don't think so. The character wasn't evil to begin with, didn't ask to be turned, didn't ask to be kicked out of the cabal, didn't ask to be booted from imm to imm, and everyone keeps telling me "You chose the tough path." I just wanted to play a creepy druid! I just wanted to play the game and be left alone, trying to RP and interact and improve the other players' experience while having fun on my own!

So, in all my utter frustration, now that my rant is done, why? Why take an excited player and completely mess with them without seeing if they wanted it to go that way in the first place? Yes, I guess empowered characters are prone to more immteraction, but you see this kind of thing less often with shaman or paladins or healers. I took my licks and tried to keep going, but honestly, why put me through all this?

Disclaimer: I am not Muuloc and do not speak for Muuloc.

The problem isn't that Muuloc won't accept druids. The problem is that Agga wasn't a druid. There was just nothing about the character that had #### to do with nature. You played a great evil shaman; unfortunately, that's neither the alignment nor class you picked.

>57 hours and almost a complete waste of time. I tried. I
>really tried to not get utterly frustrating and break
>character and cry and whatever else.

You were at 40 hours when you lost your supplications. 17 hours is not going to cut it regardless of a beautiful role and story. You have to show that you deserve a chance to be unique.

>
>This was maybe my second empowered character. My first got to
>level 40. I put a LOT of thought into the orginal role, tried
>to be really well role-played and everything, went for a
>particular style of RP and chose an immortal I thought fit. I
>had noticed that Muuloc was around quite a bit and that our
>times meshed fairly well, so it seemed a good choice. I've
>tried several empower character in the past that waited and
>waited and waited for empowerment, but just ended up 5-20
>hours later with nothing.

Some people don't get empowered in 5-20 hours. The prays you sent up were excellent. The rp that showed through with other players wasn't. Hint: If you are going to be evil, don't speak like the Cardinal.

>
>There was my biggest mistake, apparently. Rather than making
>it clear that Muuloc didn't accept druids, I get empowered to
>25, tried praying to him a couple of times, ranked some more,
>then hit 28 before he got back to me. "Blah, blah, blah,
>you're really evil now." So I get turned evil, unasked and, in
>my opinion, undeservedly and lose all my supps. Now I'm
>useless meat for everyone to kick around. I make it ten levels
>and who knows how many hours later and then get kicked out of
>Outlanders (which was the only reason I was able to keep
>alive), then get told by Muuloc to go to Amaranthe, then go to
>Amaranthe who says "I'm busy, talk to me later and contemplate
>nature". I get frustrated and I pray OOC for the first time
>ever in 5 years playing. I talk with an imm, calm down a bit,
>quit out, come back today and just get beat down by everyone.
>I am NOT having fun and I'm really frustrated and I just
>really wanted to have fun, so I delete.

Druids are neutral. A druid who turns evil loses their supps. Once you have lost your supps due to an alignment change, you have set yourself up for a very difficult task. 57 hours isn't even 10% of an age death under normal circumstances. And 17 hours of lost supps for this situation probably only scratches the surface of what is needed to get your point across.

>
>I understand that empowered characters take a little bit extra
>and I feel that I gave more than a fair lot into RP and
>character development. I was Cronish, to be sure, and would
>have made a good Amaranthe follower, but the reason I didn't
>go to her for empowerment was because our times didn't mesh.

>
>Don't the imms realize that it sucks the fun out of the game
>when they do stuff like this? I may play the game again, but
>for right now, I feel much less than enthused about doing so.
>57 hours, most of that in 1-2 hour intervals is a lot of days
>to be playing one game. I put a lot into this character and
>feel basically like it was a huge waste of time, which I
>normally don't feel when I play the game. Am I unjustified in
>my anger? I don't think so. The character wasn't evil to begin
>with, didn't ask to be turned, didn't ask to be kicked out of
>the cabal, didn't ask to be booted from imm to imm, and
>everyone keeps telling me "You chose the tough path." I just
>wanted to play a creepy druid! I just wanted to play the game
>and be left alone, trying to RP and interact and improve the
>other players' experience while having fun on my own!
>

>So, in all my utter frustration, now that my rant is done,
>why? Why take an excited player and completely mess with them
>without seeing if they wanted it to go that way in the first
>place? Yes, I guess empowered characters are prone to more
>immteraction, but you see this kind of thing less often with
>shaman or paladins or healers. I took my licks and tried to
>keep going, but honestly, why put me through all this?

It wasn't anything personal. I just didn't see an evil druid. I saw a sometimes evil shaman who talked like a good healer. You chose a difficult concept and didn't pull it off. That happens a lot more than you realize.

That is a hard road because you choose an evil god for a patron, seems like neutral followers of evil gods tend to become evil before the end. Look at Baltherias pbf and logs from Eshval's forum, he had the same sorta road (I was not Baltherias :P). I was hoping you would make it because I enjoyed your rp and was looking forward to interacting with you with other characters from different angles.

Don't let this frustration turn you off though, cf needs players like you that are willing to try things that are not cut and dry. :)

I was as explicit as I could be about everything. Your role had nothing to do with nature, and was very evil. I was trying to help you bring a healthy dose of druidness into your role, and you were moving that way, although it didn't come through when you didn't know I was watching. Even if you had nature in it from the start, you weren't going to be an evil druid with sups in under 60 hours. An evil druid with supplications is akin to a quest form or lich. That's why the helpfile says, in its own paragraph, "Druids must be neutral." If you thought your role was neutral, then I don't know what to say. I spoke with you at length about it, and you seemed to quite clearly state you were a polar opposite to a unicorn and not at all interested in being balanced. I spoke about the implications of such, and what happened to druids who strayed from the balanced path, and you persisted that you cared nothing for that. So, after consultation with others, you were made evil. I considered this more of a "the mortal asked to be made evil" type change than a "this mortal pretends to be neutral while acting evil, so needs to be changed." I guess you didn't actually want to be evil? It's really hard for me to imagine you thought your role was neutral.

What Nepenthe said was true. You would have been empowered as an evil shaman.

I put a fair amount of thought, creativity, and time into helping your character get to a point where you could play the role you seemed to want to play. You got quite a bit of immteraction and attention for your number of hours. I knew that I was risking you deleting and blaming me and others for it. But I was willing to take the chance on you, and I don't regret it. Good luck with your next.

Thanks for the time and effort you did put into me. As a player who typically shies away from empowerment, I found the experience frustrating because:

A. Every imm is different and expects different things. I ended up trying to cater to how I thought you'd want a follower to behave rather than go my own path, which is why I was so flippant about the evil thing.

B. My thoughts and your thoughts on the same role were different, though it was my fault for not specifying. A person had a terrible and tragic thing happen to her and struck out in dark anguish and temporary madness. I couldn't see that action being taken by a goodie, but I thought it still passed as a neutral person on the edge of darkness, which is what I was going for.

C. Too much immteraction, which makes me come off as sounding petulant and whiny, I know. Several imms seem to have seen me at different times and some saw "evil" while others saw "good". Part of the character was reconciling past and present, evil and good, to make a really chaotic person. Lyristeon said he saw me talk like a good healer, but I wonder if he poked his head in on when Agga was sawing off someone's limb in order to give them healing. In her mind, it was a selfish act to use people to rank with anyway, and there were several times when I just upped and let people die because they wouldn't "pay the price". Which sounds dark, but on the other hand, I gave out herbal medicine to anyone that needed it. She was unpredictable and complex, but then.. it was my fault for not specifying that anywhere.

Overall, I liked your religion and our interactions. Last night, I was really frustrated after deletion and feeling neglected, so please don't think too ill of me. Its just standard Girl Operating Procedure. Thanks for the chance to prove myself, and I'll do better with my next.

Way cool. FWIW, I got the evil vibe from the prays without even knowing you were a druid until I checked to see who it was that was throwing them out there.

I think playing a true neutral is one of the hardest roles in the game.

I echo the sentiments of the other Imms who have posted, but I just wanted to add one thing. We don't 'mess' with characters in the sense you imply above, and certainly not well RP'd characters who are a positive contribution to the game, like you were. There will be times when the communication barriers that exist in the game make it difficult for both parties to get their message across, exactly as they envision it in their head. Case in point: you didn't want to be evil, but your role was an evil role, and your RP (at least what I saw of it) came across as evil as well. Those are the main tools that we as Imms have to judge what the player wants from their character. In this case, the message we thought we were getting and the message you thought you were sending were different. Miscommunication at its finest!

I'd also like to point out that there are other avenues available to players to help get their message across. Email is a great start, especially if you have a complex character concept that you want to pull off and aren't sure how it will go over with the Imms. A similar OOC pray in game might work as well, though I wouldn't use it unless email has failed to produce a response.

Finally, and I know you're frustrated by your experience, but I ask that you take it with a grain of salt. "These things happen" is way cliche, but it's also the truth sometimes, and believe me, none of us wanted to ruin your fun or destroy your character.

Kastellyn the Devourer of Magic, Lord of Legends

I've cooled down quite a bit and realize that yes, there was miscommunication, but a lot of everything was my own fault. I was trying to go for a druid/class that wasn't born at birth to be that one specific thing. For me, it never made sense with a person other than human could live 50+ years always knowing that they were going to be warrior, and by the time they're old enough to get to the academy at level 1, the only thing they seem to have learned is less than half proficiency in a weapon their chosen profession uses. Thus, in my mind, I was making a druid by circumstance rather than by lifelong choice.

I failed to put that into role. After putting down my role at the very beginning, I SHOULD have developed what happened to lead me to being a creepy forest creature. I wanted something that was a mix between a Maenad, a forest witch, and the druid in the Hardan whose presence makes the trees cower even while he seems physically weak. I also wanted to try to be a true chaotic neutral creature, being less predictable as time went by, selfish at times and selfless at others, snapping at some and talking as sweet as honey to others. Maybe the imms watching me in Outlander only saw the "sweet as honey" part, but I assure there was a little bit of evil as there was good.

Truth be told, I don't know how to be in a religion, and I thought being a druid would be the best way. Show dedication to the worship of the deity without being a preachy healer or shaman. While I put a lot into the role, I didn't cover all the bases of the complexity of the character. I hadn't thought of using e-mail to convey this, though. Yesterday I was mad, today I'm just regretful that I could have done things better. Oh well.

Didn't interact with a whole lot of people. Anyone I killed or got killed by, I tried to briefly talk with, but nothing really in depth. I loved Jajyesak, Nefla, the current Harbinger, and Nreisshe. I wasn't around long enough to really get an indelible impression of anyone else.

There's some excellent posts by the imms on the subject, but it boils down to is that a neutral character is easiest to pull off if they have a primary motivation that doesn't involve good / evil - tribunal, battle, etc.

Neutral doesn't mean roughly 50% of the things you do would be deemed good and 50% of the things you do would be deemed evil.

nt