Mon Jul 5 09:43:10 2004

At 1 o'clock AM, Day of the Moon, 21st of the Month of the Grand Struggle
on the Theran calendar Syedani perished, never to return.

Race:	storm
Class:	paladin
Level:	51
Alignment:	Good
Ethos:	Neutral
Cabal:	FORTRESS, the Fortress of Light
Age:	291
Hours:	217

Syedani was my first char after a year and a half away from CF. So it took some time getting used to things again. So, despite the assumptions made by a few players Syedani interacted with, I am not a newbie :P

In the 5 years of playing CF I have for the most part I have been a hardcore rager. Due to that fact Syedani died a whole lot initially because I used to charge in, without any preps, take higher than necessary risks, and promptly get bashed to death. After I while I got quite frustrated about the continuous losses and from then on started investing time in preps and whatnot and fared much better.

Paladins are frustrating for someone who plays ragers most of the time. Ragers usually die to or kill their opponent. Paladins are difficult to kill yet have an equally difficult time killing someone. Other than that I enjoyed playing the class again after a few years.

Interactions:

Ordasen: What can I say, you were the main reason why I deleted. As a paladin I look for interaction with the Imm I am following, and I got none from you. That was a huge dissapointment. Then you got up and left (I am sure you must have had good reason of course) and that made things even more frustrating. Even when we talked in your shrine it was mostly awkward silences between me blabbering trying to get you to talk. Regardless, thanks for the empowerment and virtues.

Khasothalos: You and your hornets provided for the only immteraction I got. It was always enjoyable, so my sincerest thanks. I almost wished I had followed your hornets' advice :P Would have made things more interesting atleast.

Vynmylak: Enjoyed the talk with you and thank you for the promotion. I hope I did not let you down other than the delete of course.

Fortress:
Simestria: Ranked up to hero with you and quite often it was just you and me defending the Fortress against the emperor. Were fun days.

Rouchevien, Lekerjey: We interacted a lot and I always enjoyed it. you were my favorite characters to be around :P

Audriel: Perhaps it is what an Acolyte is supposed to be like but you really bugged me sometimes. I remember once we were all preparing to defend after a retrieval or raid and we were waiting for you for our final preparations. And it turned out you had stopped to chat to someone at the Inn instead. Other than the occasional incident I enjoyed your character's peaceful inclination.

Celebrimbor: I never liked you. It was your arrogance and occasional whining that did it I think. When you became captain your "threatening" note about following your orders without question really upset me. I felt you were trying to run the Fortress like the emperor would run the empire. I was more of the opinion that we all had slightly different views on "evil" and blindly following orders was something Syedani was never going to do. You got the approval of the immortals throughout your life though so I am sure you were doing something right, well done.

Other Fortress folk, I did not think I met anyone whom I felt was incompetent or a bad Rper etc. Well done across the board.

Imperials: I for one can say I fought most imperials at some point or the other in one-on-one fights. And that gained them my respect. Grottimgesh and Blitz, you were always a challenge and I looked forward to our fights no matter what the outcome. And Blitz I really did not realize you had lost link in that fight till the second to last round, and I had already entered the lagging templar's def command by then. I really wanted you to believe me. I am like Raymond and want everyone to like me :P

Scions: Did not like any of you mostly because you all taunted with statements like "I knew you would never fight alone" if someone came to join the fight. Despite the fact that you ganged whenever you got the chance. Kung came into the fortress once while I was slowed, softened, without sanc and with 20 mana. So I chose to wait at the inner guardian. After a lot of taunting etc he left, I rested and went to fight him in vain because he kept running. I really hate hypocrits though perhaps such can be part of RP.

Ragers: Jinroh, we had some good fights. I remember the really long fight we had in the drogran hills and you got away hurt so many times. You eventually wore my mana down and I was resting outside my ruined city guild (had requested Nhiala to sit by me, but she had misunderstood and had left. sneakly elves!) I had no mana, no communed up, and no feeling in my feet. Wish I had kept a transportation potion or two when you came and killed me then. You had my respect though because I knew that you were alone against countless enemies all the time. Well done.

That's it for farewells, if I forgot someone whom I should have mentioned post a reply and I will give my comments.

See you all in the fields.
Dalayr

Well done. We had some good travels and fights...(SIlmestria), even though my forms were kinda lame. You played a pious paladin type, well.

Take care

>Celebrimbor: I never liked you. It was your arrogance and
>occasional whining that did it I think. When you became
>captain your "threatening" note about following your orders
>without question really upset me. I felt you were trying to
>run the Fortress like the emperor would run the empire. I was
>more of the opinion that we all had slightly different views
>on "evil" and blindly following orders was something Syedani
>was never going to do. You got the approval of the immortals
>throughout your life though so I am sure you were doing
>something right, well done.


You bugged the #### out of me, there's just no other way to say it. You would sit around and argue with other Marans about taking the time to talk to evils before killing them, to find out "Why they were evil". In my eyes, the why wasn't what mattered. They were what they were, and what they were needed killing. End of story. I think with the way you played, you would have made a much better Acolyte than Maran.

As for the note about orders, it was specifically aimed at several Fortress members who were given orders during a raid situation. Their not following orders led directly to the deaths of other people. Despite my extensive time online, I didn't always see all of these people, and so a more generic "This is how it will be" was sent out. This was something a lot of the Squires and Maran needed to read anyway, because there were some "issues" when I first took over as Captain. Most notably there were a few who were Squires or Marans before I was ever even a Squire, who felt this meant it was ok for me to say something and for them to ignore it. This was not acceptable to me, and after the note was sent and my position clear I had no more problems like this.

As for running the Fortress like the Empire, you're pretty far off the mark there. I ran the Fortress like an Army. I didn't allow anyone to address me by name in a group or over the cabal channel, but in private it was a different story. In an army, the chain of command needs to be respected. If you can't follow orders from your commanding officer, you have no business in the service of that army, plain and simple.

You were on a list I sent the imms, of people who I wanted removed from the Fort, but never saw to uninduct myself. This was for such infrequent logins. I'm glad you deleted, thus freeing up a spot for someone who will play more. It's the best thing to do in these situations.

Hey all - is this what I sounded like as Aemelius?

If so, I hereby apologize to all of you. I hope I wasn't that bad.

N/t

Still around Aemellius? Drop me an email at thelleneor@yahoo.com if you like.

>You bugged the #### out of me, there's just no other way to
>say it. You would sit around and argue with other Marans about
>taking the time to talk to evils before killing them, to find
>out "Why they were evil". In my eyes, the why wasn't what
>mattered. They were what they were, and what they were needed
>killing. End of story. I think with the way you played, you
>would have made a much better Acolyte than Maran.
>

That discussion took place only once. And furthermore it was a discussion about neutrals not evils. About making sure that a misunderstanding does not lead to our hunting them and pushing them to ally with our enemies. Honestly I did not care all that much and that discussion got a lot bigger than I had meant it to be.

>As for running the Fortress like the Empire, you're pretty far
>off the mark there. I ran the Fortress like an Army. I didn't
>allow anyone to address me by name in a group or over the
>cabal channel, but in private it was a different story. In an
>army, the chain of command needs to be respected. If you can't
>follow orders from your commanding officer, you have no
>business in the service of that army, plain and simple.
>

My point exactly, in an army soldiers are expected to follow their senior officer blindly. I don't agree that the Maran should follow orders blindly. I agree in a raid or defense situation when there is very little time to make decisions, doing what the leader asks is the best course of action unless glaringly wrong.

>You were on a list I sent the imms, of people who I wanted
>removed from the Fort, but never saw to uninduct myself. This
>was for such infrequent logins. I'm glad you deleted, thus
>freeing up a spot for someone who will play more. It's the
>best thing to do in these situations.

Yeah I had lost interest in Syedani unfortunately due to the lack of interaction with Ordasen. Just took a while to get the courage to delete her :)

Uninducting people for infrequent logins is something that should be exercised with a lot of care. In the end, this is a game, and should not supplant real life. By allowing many chars at once, which I see the immortals sometimes even encouraging this, uninducting people because they don't come in regularly isn't something I agree with. As a previous leader, I gave up my position when I knew I wasn't going to be around to induct or lead, where my presence and lack thereof would have an adverse effect on the player base, but I think it's fine for someone who isn't a leader. There are already significant in game mechanics to counter "character hoarding".

I can think of at least two of my favourite marans who have been around for a long time, do not log in frequently, but whom I would vehemently oppose to being uninducted.

In a perfect world, uninductions wouldn't be necessary for infrequent logins. But when you're told "Stop inducting, we have enough people for now" then people stop showing up, this creates a vaccum that cannot be filled until room is made. The best way to make that room, is to remove the people who show up the least, and induct people who will show up more.

It's not personal, and had nothing to do with my feelings one way or the other about Syedani's RP. It's just being practical. Why would I want spots taken up by people who seldom log in, when I could remove them and make way for someone who WILL log in? Thats just not practical from an objective point of view.

the time when i was ranking with you and kak was the ranking session i enjoyed the most. you two made me laugh so much.

thanks for showing me the other way to you know where..i got it figured out now ;)

i'll catch you in the fields i'm sure. cya.

That's a bit vague, but I appreciate your candid remarks. If you could elaborate on what exactly happened (i.e. what you said to me) I'd be happy to go through my logs.

I knew you were irritated on occasion, but come on. Should I hold inner anger toward Syedani for months over what I perceive to be imperfections about her? I took the time to acknowledge your efforts and learn about Syedani as a courageous Ordasen follower. It helped me appreciate and understand her.

You didn't really take an interest in understanding Acolyte or Audriel's religion. Even Rouchevien and Lekerjey took the time to do that. You harbored a quiet anger toward Audriel without really letting her know your feelings openly until now. Therefore, your remarks don't surprise me. I'm actually flattered you had anything positive to say at all.

I invite you to play an Acolyte. Then, try sitting at the inn while the Fortress is under attack, or has lost the orb.

By my account, Syedani was a fine maran. She was visibly irritated with Audriel, but you are perfectly entitled to that. You played your role well.

One of the people who would heal the porky at the
Imperial inners. :)
See ya next time around.

I'm not sure I remember the exact time you are talking about, but I did a lot of taunting when Maran would not show up to defend their guardians when they didn't have the Orb. In my mind, a good should want to save the life of another good, especially one that tirelessly defends a shrine or cabal. Instead, most Marans were like 'Eh, we don't have our orb, so why should I save a good mob?'

I don't buy the 'game balance' argument in regard to killing neutral mobs, not saving good mobs, etc. It just seems like a way to get the benefits of being good without having to deal with the drawbacks.

I don't know. I look as good being the cabal equivalent of Empire. It's easy to get in, but it's also really easy to get thrown out. (End comparison)

With regard to saving good aligned mobs, I agree 'if/when' it isn't a blatent trap or ruse, meant to get them killed. On the flip side of the coin, no truly good mob would prefer their goodly companions to sacrifice themselves when there's no real hope of changing or altering the outcome. Basically, just because you're good doesn't mean you're an automoton who has to fall for the obvious traps because your alignment dictates that given a certain set of circumstances you act stupidly by nature.

With respect to fighting neutral mobs. Honestly, dependant upon the situation I don't think it's wrong of goodies to fight neutral mobs. Game wise, the supposed 'benefits' of being good aren't that spectacular. You can request, yay. You get to sit there frozen contemplating the goodness of the world while potentially some very nasty bastards can come up on you and show you how much evil there is as well. So for request, which you're basically saying is a freebie, they sacrifice health, movement and mobility. That's not a freebie.

I don't even play goodies, but to a degree I take exception to some of your statements. Too one sided in my opinion.