Wed Aug 13 19:56:47 2003


At 4 o'clock AM, Day of Deception, 30th of the Month of the Sun
on the Theran calendar Menzaen perished, never to return.

Race:	dark-elf
Class:	assassin
Level:	51
Alignment:	Evil
Ethos:	Orderly
Cabal:	EMPIRE, the Empire
Age:	340
Hours:	242
PK Ratio:	59% (closer to 100% is better)

Enjoyed your characters a lot, both Knipit and Menzaen. I was asassinated twice with Eluna and I was always wary when you were about. That's why I was always sitting on the reef enjoying the view. You would always ask me what was so interesting. Essentially guarding my butt, plus certain people who's home towns were in arkham would have to eventually cross the ocean.

I fondly remember one time when evils were in power and I was being actively hunted. I had just fought two other people, can't remember who and I recalled. I was on my way to the valley to a certain spot to get some more preps but I was only at like 500hp and I saw you and I went for the impale ate a dev then you mountain storm kicked an I ate an oblit got me down nice and low. I promptly fled and teleported.
Good times, Good times.

Mostly goodbies though.

Khasotholas: You're pretty awesome. It makes me want to play a divine, honestly.

Shadow Imm: You're not so bad. Thanks for the dreamquest.

Zulghinlour: I'm sure you rock, but I don't really know first hand.

Yanoreth: I wanted to follow your religion, but I was too intimidated to try because I was afraid of failing. Yeah, I know, I should have gone for it.

Jirash: You're cool in my book.

Illadem: You too. I was taking a piss when you killed me, thanks for not full looting.

Erenthell: Good job man, just show up more.

Haaslett: You were great, I got to know you as Knipit and we just work together well.

Amadalie: Good hunting with you too.

Faeras: A cool character, and fun.

Yanacek: I liked you, but to be honest, any leader char who absolutely can't play prime times is pretty worthless as a leader. It sucks, but it's the truth.

Khalizad: Interesting RP, but it annoys me from an OOC standpoint.

Izuvererus: You were pretty cool, but you had your moments.

Azeri: Eh, whatever.

Diegrcso, Rho, Liralyth: Kick ass in the sect for me.

Isengrim: Sorry to bail without returning a favor or two.

Azharadon: I didn't really like you.

Gherian: You're amazingly good, and I was really harsh to you as Knipit because you frustrated me. Good job, though.

Ghuljun: There wasn't anyway I was putting my life on the line for Izuvererus :)

Cersai: I said it once, and I'll say it again. You have other skills than bash. USE THEM.

Rogardian: I hate fighting paladins, but you're alright.

Astilamos: I had mixed feelings about you. At first I hated you. I even looted you when you died to goodies once. I still think you're a little bit skittish of getting into the nitty gritty, but you're ok in my book. Long live the Emperor.

I'm sure there's a lot more I'm not remembering, just reply and I'll reply.

I met you when you were anathema, you laughed at the empired folley, when they failed to take the orb...you were always a good ####, or somting like that,

anyway, what happened to the picture you were painting, now the colors will never be complete

>Zulghinlour: I'm sure you rock, but I don't really know first
>hand.

I'd been watching you recently, I was curious how the events were going to shape up. You seemed to do well, and knew what you were trying to do. Too bad about that owl thing.

We did not talk too much but I really liked having you around and hoped that you would somehow get Yanacek's job away from him because your playing matches mine more than his does. Assassins are not that common in the Empire either.

You were a good Shadow and you will be missed.

I liked you, you were handy to have around (even if your forms aren't OMG amazing) and pleasant enough. I meant what I said about sects, too.

Farewell.

We could have interacted more, but I understand the life of the shadow is often a lonely one.

Good luck on your next, and all that.

Liralyth

We didn't fight a whole lot, or interact much, but you seemed like a really slick character. I saw you around at all times, whether Empire was a horde, or it was just you and a horde of good aligns. You also summed it up perfectly with what you said in Coronado's post. Losing a good enemy sucks just as much as losing a good friend. I feel the same way about you going, despite not having really 'grown up' fighting you. Good luck.

Just my .02 on the subject. Nice character. Interesting to be around(when I was), devious, and playing often.

I enjoyed our fights immensely. You were a good foe, and its too bad you went out like this. One moment that comes to mind was you and amadalie outside the fortress. We fought for what seemed like a good hour back and forth, and man, you had balls coming in for that last part when you nearly got me. I sat there spamming "Co Heal" in hopes that the amathylar prog would kick in for the final blow. Good fights, and good luck on your next.

Jaedren

When yanacek wasn't showing up at prime times, all the other councilors actually decided we wanted him gone. It was also about the time that Astilamos became Emperor, even though none of us could agree on who it should be. (We all wanted it.) Odd thing is, Yanacek used to be on at those times, now he isn't, which really stinks. Anyway, you were as I said in my note Haaslett's best "non-divine" friend, whick pretty much translated to his best friend. You were a great pker, much better in the shadows than what happened with Knipit, I told you on dios to drop me a line, but the email address is wrong so here it is.

minyar13@aol.com

thanks,
Aaron

Thanks so much for the role contest, I was really tickled when I won, it didn't matter that I didn't get anything for it. It was an honour just to have won.

Damn, that hurts. The couple times you died when I was involved were because you stuck around and fought with a bit too much gusto when you probably should have retreated. Made fighting you fun, instead of an assassinate;vanish;quaff ordeal, and several times that I saw it definitely payed off. Having someone skilled hiding unexpectedly in the shadows is a great advantage - when I suspected you were around, I crossed my fingers that we would see one of the fortress thieves or assassins show up. Anyway, good job.

I liked the way you did your role, nice.

Rogardian

Ah man, just sucks to see you go. Of all the bunch of hazy imperials out there ganging and all that ####, there are only so few who stand out.
The way you stuck it out, boss, was good.
Around the time you were anaethamed I tried to stick around you, only, we both promised much to each other but could never get together. I would hold things for you many times hehe, and you would say ok I am going to donate this and I would say hell man, you know what that thingamjig is, hehehe.
One really funny incident was you overhearing me talk to valeros at Market and though you kept telling me that time you could hear me talk and I was nodding away like a wise owl I couldnt understand, until I heard about overhear. Hehehe.
Ahh damn, has been such a long time I have seen such a umm menacing? assassin around. Good work.

You didnt get to see much of it, his dedication to his sect and people you did, but as far as what I do within the cabal and within the other sects, dont know how much you.. ahem.. overheard. Nah, I will be bold enough to say listened into :) But I know you werent on alot when Azeri was listening in on me unless he reported to you, and other things. heh
Anyway, you were one of the few shadow I did respect, because I did see you on quite a bit. Even though I work 2nd shift, which means the peak time I cant be here except on the weekends, eh, I do what I can, moreso as a leader char, and I like seeing others doing it to.
Just wish I could kill off that aim crew damnit.
hard when there is six of them :P

The whole overenthusiastic stupid giant schpiel...I don't know what it was, it got on my nerves when Izuvererus did his overenthusiastic thing too. I guess I just have issues with enthusiasm.

I only overheard one interesting conversation you had, and it wasn't that interesting. Keep strong, eh?

Menzaen very much fit my idea of what a shadow should be. Plotting, lurking, and an incredibly tough fighter from what I saw. Glad to interact with you, the bit I did. Good job.

Khas

From what I've read in the Palace about shadows, the Empire does not expect the Shadows to be fighters *at all*, that should be left for the blades. This leads me to believe that Shadows might not even be expected to retreive or fight unnecessarily at any time. Do the imms expect (or even care) if shadows are incredibly tough fighters? They seem like they would care more about the ability to gather information and perform assassinations instead, without getting into the mix all too often (if at all).


In the perfectness of the Empire, the Blades will be the ones marching into their enemies homes and achieving conquest, not the shadows.

- This leads me to believe that Shadows might not even be expected to retreive or fight unnecessarily at any time.

Shadows are still Imperials, and have the same basic duties as any citizen. Retrieval is something that's, in general, expected of all citizens, for the most part. Unnecessary fights? That's up to the individual, especially in the case of a shadow.

- Do the imms expect (or even care) if shadows are incredibly tough fighters?

Personally, I don't care if anyone is an incredibly tough fighter, as long as they seem to have some sort of purpose.

- They seem like they would care more about the ability to gather information and perform assassinations instead, without getting into the mix all too often (if at all).

That's a perfectly valid option for a Shadow.

- In the perfectness of the Empire, the Blades will be the ones marching into their enemies homes and achieving conquest, not the shadows.

In a general sense, yes, that's true.

Hope that helps,

Khas

I wanted Menzaen to be everything my other characters weren't, roleplay wise. I'd explored extensively as Aenail and saw so many awesome areas with a lot of backstory that no one ever uses. So I used it. I'd post the descriptions of stuff I based my role on, but it's from Thar-Acacia and thus off limits. All I can say is to go explore it yourself! Well worth the trip.

That said, I was a Thar-Acacian Drow. I did not hate elves, I did not like the dark, and all in all, I could give a flying #### what alignment you were.

I was sphere Time/Fate and did my best to incorporate it actively into the character. I was a historian, but one who cared as much about the future as the past. I trusted in fate for everything, and blamed both good and ill on it.

Pride was also a major part of Menzaen. I wanted my people to be freed of the shame that put them in Thar-Acacia. Order came above all else.

I wrote my role in a unique fashion. With each entry was a bit of dialogue, and after it came a journal entry. The dialogue moved back in time, and the journal forward, pivoting on the time of my self-imposed Exile (i.e. rolling). First came an outline, which I used as a rough guide. 8 and 9 were never entered.

#1 I am leaving home. I have arrived in Arkham.
#2 I loathe our seclusion. I have joined assassin's guild.
Oaths: Swear it! I never make an oath I can't keep.
#3 Why do you always look at the moon like that? I looked at the moon tonight.
#4 Vakrin admonishes me. I wonder if Vakrin played a part in my departure.
#5 I havn't chosen an art to study, only history. The histories always intrigued me.
#6 Father teaches me to play chess. The Empire is like a living game of chess.
#7 What's outside the walls? I have always looked beyond the immediate.

#8 Vakrin speaks to my parents. What does the future hold for my people?
#9 There is something strange about the child. My earliest memory...




Your description is:
An aura of disquiet emanates from the slender form of a male drow. His face,
though young in appearance, is all hard angles and lines. Two cold eyes of
violet stare unblinkingly, faintly luminescent day or night. The thin line
that is his mouth harbors no traces of mirth, and the pale, bloodless lips
seldom part. A length of stark-white hair sprouts from his crown, pulled
back tightly and knotted into a pony tail with a leather cord. His build is
light, but what muscle is visible is all well-toned, if modest. A pendant of
dazzling blue crystal rests on his chest, in stark contrast with its crude
iron chain.


********************************************************************************
#1

"You leave us now?"
"I do."
"Where will you go?"
"Somewhere. Anywhere. Arkham."
"Arkham?"
"Arkham. Why not Arkham?"
"Will you be back?"
"It cannot be foreseen. Time will reveal all."
"Take this, then."
"Where did you find this? It is forbidden. You know that."
"Take it. Please."
"Goodbye, Caezina."
"Goodbye, Menzaen."

It has been two weeks since my self-imposed banishment. No one leaves, no one ever leaves Thar-Acacia. Yet I have left, and it will be years before I return, if I ever do. The security of those walls is lost to me. It is peculiar what things our emotions invest themselves in. Cold walls. Inanimate walls. Dead walls. It is not Caezina for whom I cry, it is the walls. That too will fade, in time. In a hundred years, will I remember those walls? Will the memory distort and blur, until in my mind they are indistinguishable from the crumbling affront to masonry that encircles Arkham?

********************************************************************************
#2

"There is a reason for our seclusion. You should have learned that years ago, Menzaen."

"I understand that father, but that is an archaic idea. The world outside has changed, it must have by now. Why must we cower when we can rebuild?"

"We do not cower! The world outside is not fit for us, that does not mean we cower."

"Then why not make the world outside fit for us? We could be masters of the lands, and instead, what are we? Nothings, that's what we are. Recluses for eternity. Vakrin sits up there, in the tower, with his council, day in and day out. Nothing changes, there is no progress. Whenever our ways are questioned, he only points to the tapestries. Those tapestries are ancient irrelevant relics!"

"You are young, Menzaen. You will learn to respect Vakrin for what he is.


The time I have spent with the Assassin's guild will soon mark me for life. The astute observer will know the training that lies behind the fluid grace with which I learn to strike. Interestingly enough, my choice will transform my self-imposed banishment into something more concrete. The arts I have chosen to study have been forbidden for millenia within Thar-Acacia, and if my ways are recognized, nothing will save me from their wrath. Perhaps it is fate that draws me towards a path ever farther from my heritage.

********************************************************************************
#3


"Why do you always look at the moon like that?"

"I've always looked at the moon like that, you know that Caezina."

"Yes, but why?"

"Because I like to think about how it is the same moon that our ancestors gazed upon during the Great War. The moon is always there, watching, and she always will be. When I look at her, I feel like I am glimpsing the past--or the future."

"What about the sun? The sun has always been in the sky, and always will be, yet you do not obsess over it."

"The sun does not allow us to look upon her. The moon does."

"Can you believe that there are those of our race who live underground, who have never seen the moon, nor the sun? I would dread to be one of them."

"I try not to believe it."

I watched the moonrise tonight for the first time since I left Thar-Acacia. It was a full moon, red as it rose above the horizen. It is written that a full moon rose over the blood-soaked battlefields after the Great War ended. The texts say it was the first time a red moon rose, and that it symbolizes the slaughter of that day. I wish I had been alive during the war. I'd like to think that things may have been different, that we would not have ran and hid like cowards.
********************************************************************************

"Swear it! Swear you'll never leave!"

"Do not throw things at me, Caezina. I will not make a promise I cannot keep."



I took an oath to the Empire, an oath I intend to keep. Though I have never broken an oath before, I feel a strange compulsion to remain loyal to this one. I'm not sure that I could breech it even if it was my desire to. With each passing day, I feel myself grow even more bound to my fate.

********************************************************************************
#4
"Child, I have summoned you here for a reason, one that has been looming over you for some time. I trust you know what I speak of."

"I believe I do, Lord Vakrin."

"Then let us keep this to the point. Your rebellion against the traditions of Thar-Acacia is at the very least upsetting. At the worst, you disasterous to our soceity. Some of the council question whether you are able to function in a soceity as structured as ours is. You must make a choice, redeem yourself, or face banishment."

"It is not that Lord, I respect the world we have built for ourselves. I merely wish to extend our sphere unto the rest of the world. Why do we waste ourselves cooped up in towers when the armies of Order should command the respect of entire continents?"

"You are young and rash child. My ultimatum stands."


Often, lately, I have thought back to a meeting with the Order Lord Vakrin several years before my exile. I wonder at times if all was not as it seemed with that ancient man. In retrospect, it almost seems as if he was trying to give me the push, the motivation I needed to leave Thar-Acacia. We are a conservative people, but perhaps there is a reflection of my ambitions within the man that salvaged us so many years ago.

********************************************************************************
#5
"You should have chosen a guild a decade ago today. I will not wait much longer, if you disgrace me I will disown you without pause. Know this."

"How could I join a guild when there is so much to study already? I have just now found this tome, it is an ancient text from the first days of our city. It describes in every facet the creation of the anti-magic warriors. By studying it, I hope to find a weak..."

"And what could would it do you? They are out there, beyond the mists, not within our walls."

"Yes...yes...I suppose you are correct, they are beyond the mists."


There is so much history in Thera to absorb, I cannot read fast enough. There are literally eons of history that has passed unnoticed by Thar-Acacia, and there is only so much time in a day. By the time I have tended to my duties as an Imperial Citizen, there is only so much studying I can do. There is a great lyceum here that I owe a visit still...I am just as interested in the world's past as I am in moulding its future.
********************************************************************************

"Chess is the game of politicians, if an imperfect one. Each piece has a value, and importance, and a limited range of uses. Some, more limited to others. A chessmaster understands when and what to sacrifice on the path to victory. A good politician is the same. First there are the pawns, extremely limited and equally expendable..."


My father once told me that politics are like a game of chess, that each person has an intrinsic worth that corresponds with their range of usefulness. Never have I felt that to be more true than now, as I hold the rank of Elite Imperial Shadow. I have encountered several pawns that will require sacrificing in order to tame this wild country. Beyond the pawns, there are also rooks and bishops which must be manipulated delicately, sacrificed only in the most dire necessity. Soon, perhaps, there will be a King, requiring the most delicate touch of all...
********************************************************************************

|898hp| |791mv| |civilized| |12 AM| |waning| role read 1
Subject: What lies beyond those walls/The memory visions return
Added Sun Aug 3 10:50:10 2003 at level 51:
"Father, what's beyond those walls?"

"The mists that guard us, you should know that. Have you been neglecting your studies?"

"I know that, but what is beyond the mists? I know, the mountains, but what is beyond the mountains?"

"I don't know Menzaen, more mountains, I'm sure. Why does it matter? Who's putting these questions into your head?"

"No one is putting these questions into my head, father."


The unbeckoned memory visions which I had grown so accustomed to have finally
returned to me. It is peculiar that one can grow so familiar with such an eldritch
event. What held true then still holds now: I have always looked beyond the
immediate, beyond the present, beyond the obvious...What was once merely a
matter of curiousity has grown into something much more deadly. As I now ponder
what lies beyond the immediate, I realize that I am on dangerous ground. I have
known for some time that I would replace Yanacek as Shadow Lord, but it is
only now that I make the preperations for this vital step. It was the words of
the divine Khasotholas that have motivated my preperations, when he spoke, "Then
why are you not Shadow Lord, Menzaen?"



I have faltered in my faith. I must trust in my fate to guide me through
this endeavor.

I didn't really mean to delete, I actually had a lot of plans, I meant to rage delete to make myself stay away for a few days, but I accidentally quit after the first delete. So I relogged and deleted again, but it circumvented the rage delete code, so why not.

Wow. What a ####ty pk ratio, I havn't done that bad since my first character with a pk ratio. I started out really well, but after the anathema event I just got sloppy. I died twice in the last few days because I went to pee/get food while hidden and an owl flew to me and shifted. In general, I just wasn't into the pk aspect as much.

Anyway, it was a lot of fun, had a lot of great RP, won a role contest, got some (just a little) immteraction, killed a couple people.

I really intended to con die this one, but what can you do. #### happens.

There's a bunch of people I'd like to thank, but I can't think straight right now for being upset with myself for yet another colossol mistake, heh.

I'll post goodbies, role/desc in a little bit, it's my deletion thread and I'll make as many posts in it as I damn well please.

-Menzaen, Knipit, Aenail, Falax, and above all else, Derek